fluffy minutiae in thirds

First:
It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that I'm a wee bit scared to go over to Cynical Dad's today to see what Tanis had to say about her roast (part one here, part two here, and my contribution part three right here).  Tanis is responding today and I think she might rip a few of us a new one.

Can someone go over and tell me how bad it is?

Second:
I'm hosting my first giveaway over at Toronto Savvy Source.  It's for another cool Nintendo DS game, this one for the wannabee chef of the household - check out the Personal Trainer: Cooking details over at my post and enter to win a copy. It's like a robot cookbook that doesn't scream DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON at you when you decide to get creative with the recipes.  In fact, it's more like that Rosie robot from the Jetsons.  Except the game doesn't clean up after you or engage you in witty reporte or speak condesendingly to your spouse so you don't have to.

BUT despite these flaws, it's a really cool prize and I've made the giveaway ridiciously easy to enter: all you need to do is leave a comment with your email address and then I will randomly draw a name.  See, easy-peasy so what's your excuse not to enter - srsly, it would be a crime not to.  Unless you hate food, then I understand and all is forgiven.

EDIT TO ADD: Scribbit maintains a handy-dandy super cool easy to use message board for contests, giveaways and the like over at her forum.  If you are running a contest or giveaway at your site, this is a great place to spread the word. How cool is that?  Nice and central for lazy folk, like me.

Third:
AND HOLY CROW - I'm so glad I'm not alone on this mommy blogger moniker business.   Seriously, thank you for all the amazing comments from all sides of the debate - it seems to mostly be "meh, don't care" and "meh, don't like it".  Every single comment helped clarify my feelings towards the label.  Except for Whit's - his was just gratuitous use of the word motherf**ker and that didn't help at all, it just made me laugh.

I think fidget first said it with the "mommy is so.damn.whiny." but then I was totally distracted by her refrencing Tijuana donkey shows in the same comment.  Then I was sucked into the dark side of YouTube and was scarred with my finding.  Thanks fidget.  THANKS A LOT.

Then my longtime bloggy friends Jana and Chag brought up the good point that even the word blog is not particularly attractive.  And I bet they both don't like getting called bloggy friends - but in all seriousness, they are two of the original blogs I started following way back in the early days.  Blogs come and go but these two are always on my must read list.  Though Jana's blog is no longer the original incarnation, I love the new one just as much.

Fairly Odd Mother, Michelle, and Kyla brought up the condescending tone of mommy and coupled with fidget's whiny, I realized that's exactly it:  mommy only sounds pure in intention when it comes from a child.  Seriously.  And TwoBusy nailed it with calling the term specious.  Mmmm - I love words like that.

Then Laura challenged me to a virtual fight behind the virtual school after the virtual bell because she feels that she is the Queen of Unstable Bloggers and while she has a great arguement, she will scream uncle after she gets one of my virtual wedgies.  Of course Mrs. Chicky made the term "Bat shit Crazy Blogger" seem very attractive and I might have to challenge her to a duel for that one.  Have you checked out her new blog?  Operation Get Happy is something I can get behind (heh).

So there you have it, not really minutiae but stand alone, none of the items on this list made a post.  But together, they make a motherbumper PSA or motherbumper brain dump - take your pick.  I'll come up with some substance later, right now I'm all about fluff.  Mmmmm fluff.

motherbumper PSA

In lieu of a "real" post (because this one is obviously imaginary), I'm spreading the word about two contests that I'm involved with:

Over at motherbumper's lab, I have a twenty-five dollar gift certificate up for grabs for one lucky CANADIAN reader.  It's for the iTunes Canada store and all you have to do is tell me what would be your first item for download if you won, and also give me your email address so I can stalk you.  It's that easy to win and become an innocent victim to my harassment. Contest closes this Friday at midnight, harassment never ends.

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For both my American and Canadian readers, I must share about this really cool - SUPER COOL - giveaway and grand prize draw going on over at my other home, Savvy Source.  Today through Friday over at the Savvy Source Holiday Guide there is a different prize to be won just for commenting on the post that is featured each day.

For instance, today if you comment on the Guide to Holiday Parties for Preschoolers post, FIVE commenters will be randomly drawn to win a copy of Mask Parade, a beautiful book for preschoolers that encourages them to pretend to be animals from the forest.  The book contains six different animal masks for play time and also mirrors so they can admire the new creature look.

Check each day at the Savvy Source Holiday Guide to see what prizes are available to be won, and comment on the post - it's really that easy to enter to win.

Then next Sunday December 22nd, Savvy Source will have a grand prize drawing from all the people who display one of the Savvy Source Holiday Guides badges found at the bottom of this page (must send email in order to be entered in the draw - full details at the bottom of this page) for a super sweet gift pack of:

• one year premium subscription to Picnik (I wrote about Picnik back in November - love it, I never need to open up Photoshop for the small things anymore and I can still deface alter enhance photos for blackmail fun - it's a really useful subscription if you like pretty up, watermark, collage, or frame photos)
• HP Creative Studio suite plus HP Photosmart D5460 Printer - this part of the prize package sells itself
  
• the MOTOZINE ZN5 (it's all in caps in all their site verbiage so I felt like they were yelling at me to comply with capitalization) But seriously, it's a crazy and cool camera that allows you to send your photos immediately because it's on the network AND it also converts into a phone with a flip of some crazy technology (I'm out of breath with that description).  Short of long: it's like a Maxwell Smart phone that isn't a shoe.
  

How cool is all that? There are prizes falling out of the sky folks, out of the sky.  ENJOY.

My PSA work is done for another day.

Real post to happen...uh... tomorrow?

For now, I will distract you with my child who wears her sunglasses in the tub.  Why does she wear her sunglasses in the tub? Because her future is so bright she has to wear shades.  [insert collective groan right here].  Like you didn't see that coming a mile away.

Check out that dirty face people, I swear I do clean her off once and a while but mah lordy this girl is tactile.  If she isn't squeezing it between her fingers, she smearing it on her gob.  I love this kid so much, mess and all.

not want yet

OK - so tonight I was going to finish off a post I've been trying to write for two days but I couldn't because I broke my one of my own rules - yes, I have rules.  Rules that may be whippy and malieable but they exist.  There is one that perhaps is more rigid than the others and that's the one I broke: "under promise and over deliver".

Oh my god.  I just realized that my life rules were lifted from those awful motivational posters every single one of my managers and bosses had during the nineties, I kid you not.

Anyhow, for some reason during the last week I said yes to too many things at the same time. I'm barely out of the mire but at least some hurtles have been run in to and dramatically pushed away (I was never much for leaping).  So who wants to sell me a new identity so I can get out of everything else?  I suppose I could just delete my inbox.  That actually happened recently and for those hours it was gone I felt more than slightly liberated after the general panic and running in triangles was over - our apartment is too small for circles.


Yeesssssss, so this post was supposed to be Want: part 2 to finish Want: part 1 but that's not going to happen tonight.

Instead:  have I ever mentioned we have cats?

We have two cats.

I think one of them *cough* this one *cough* hates me right now.

Either that, or he is trying to make me cuckoo for cocoa puffs (or the generic choco puffed wheat I'm more likely to buy because I'm one of "those" moms).

All day, every minute of the day, or maybe I'm totally exaggerating but work with me, m'kay? I swear, our cat paws at the cardboard lid of the box of tinned cat food.

*scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause)

Always with the pause.

All the live long day.

For the record, our cats get fed three times a day.  They are just bored indoor cats. I know I should probably do something about that but trust me, they live very privileged lives I'll have you know: we feed them excellent food, give them top-notch accommodations, tolerate their crazy cat witching hours, bring in little cat hookers to keep them entertained, we do it all.  OMG why am I defending myself like this? ANYHOW - SPOILED CAT TRYING TO DRIVE ME MAD.

Oh yes, we thought we outsmarted him when we moved the box (that only took a few weeks for us to figure out) but it's difficult when you have an open concept kitchen like ours.  And by open concept I mean microscopically small with sh*t piled everywhere because there is no real place to put anything.  I should have been a real estate agent.

Anyhow... he just doesn't stop.  When the box is moved, he howls.

*meowrmeow*meowrmeow* (pause) *meooooooooowr* *meowrmeow*meowrmeow* (pause) *meooooooooowr* *meowrmeow*meowrmeow* (pause) *meooooooooowr* *meowrmeow*meowrmeow* (pause) *meooooooooowr* *meowrmeow*meowrmeow* (pause) *meooooooooowr* *meowrmeow*meowrmeow* (pause) *meooooooooowr* *meowrmeow*meowrmeow* (pause) *meooooooooowr* *meowrmeow*meowrmeow* (pause) *meooooooooowr*

So.  I have to chose between *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) or *meowrmeow*meowrmeow* (pause) *meooooooooowr*.  It's kind of like being asked "Dora or Diego?" when arriving in the eternal rumpus room in hell.

So. Who wants a cat?

Now for a motherbumper PSA:

If you live in the Toronto area and want to get spoiled for a great cause, this Saturday October 25th is the Sweetmama's first Mother's Day Off Spa-A-Thon for the SickKids Foundation.  For the price of an event pass, you will receive a kick-butt loot bag full of totally great gifts worth way more than the $75 ticket price, and in addition to the loot you also get spa treatments, workouts, yoga, and almost anything that is good for a woman during the four hour event.

Better yet, want to win two free passes? Go over to Playdate and leave a comment BEFORE 5PM on Friday October 24th to win.  Just leave a comment - at Playdate not here, to win.

Easy Peasy to get all Squeezy.

Feel free to leave a comment here to show some love but you win no prize, except for my eternal devotion (retail value: $6.80 CAD).

Murphy's Law

When one purchases a strapless dress for a wee party one might be attending in San Francisco next week, one should remember to do the shoulders with sunscreen before entering the inferno known as the great outdoors.
Craptastic, n'est pas? I'm thinking a red marker should fill in the blanks nicely.

It doesn't hurt but somewhere in the wind I hear the sound of a hundred dermatologists sharpening their biopsy scalpels.

I've gone straight (well kinda)

OK, so life has been totally insane for weeks now but in a good way. It has been difficult to post here at motherbumper which is weird because I've been writing my little butt off every spare moment that I can find.

What have I been writing about that hasn't been appearing on motherbumper? Well Gigi and I have been all over town doing research for my new job. You read that right: I've gone legit and gots me a job.

When I heard that City Mama, Stefania was looking for City Editors for places all over North America, I thought "wow, I could get a job talking about the stuff that Gigi and I do each and every day? HOLY HECK!".

Seriously, do you know how many times in the past I've written a post about things we find around town or tidbits I've discovered about cracking the code of my child and then never published because I didn't think it was suitable for motherbumper? Of course you don't because I don't publish those posts. But trust me when I say it happens often.

So I checked out the site that was looking for contributors because I've tried out some other parenting sites and found they were just are too broad or overwhelming corporate for my liking. But when I checked out Savvy Source the first thing that struck me was the focus - preschoolers and only preschoolers. And then I noticed they have some fantastic bloggers that I adore covering their home cities (I lifted the list below from Christina over at A Mommy Story). Then I said "sold, now how do I get them to hire me?" So I wrote my little heart out, maybe threw out a bribe, with buttery words or two, and managed to land myself the Toronto City Editor job.


Now I'm a very proud member of this looooooong list of City Editors from around North America:

Christina (Columbus)

Shawn Burns (Silicon Valley)

Kim Mordecai (Sacramento)

Jonathon Morgan (Austin)

Caitlin Giles (Chicago)

Mike Adamick (San Francisco)

Leticia (DC Metro)

Rachel Mosteller (Houston)

Casey of Moosh in Indy (Indianapolis)

Colleen (Delaney Diaries) (San Antonio)

Aimee of Greeblemonkey (Denver)

Rita Arens of Surrender Dorothy (Kansas City)

Jenny Ciampa (San Diego)

Bethany Dunn (Seattle)

Kelly Leahy (New Orleans)

Amy Kuras (Detroit)

Nicole Teed (Charleston)

Meredith Pelham (Nashville)

Julie Woo Yang (Honolulu)

Amy Davis (The Lovely Mrs. Davis) (Atlanta)

Becky (Tampa) (Tampa)

Heather Gibbs Flett(Rookie Moms) (Oakland/Berkeley)

Whitney Moss (Rookie Moms) (Oakland/Berkeley)

Kim Prince (San Fernando Valley)

Amelia Sprout (Minneapolis/St. Paul)

Jill Notkin (Boston)

Nina Moon (Los Angeles)

Gwendolyn Floyd (Vancouver)

If you have a preschooler in the Toronto area and are looking for things to do or have any suggestions of places, events, parks, drop-in centres, etc that Gigi and I should check out in the city, please come on over to Savvy Source Toronto and drop me a comment or email at SavvyToronto [@] gmail [.] com. I'm there every weekday and totally looking forward to hearing from you (no seriously, I am).

And don't worry (like you were really worried but), I'll still be over here dropping f-bombs and spinning stories about crazed emus or things my daughter has lodged up her nose, because that's what being a motherbumper is all about.

Rescue Cat

We were at a new playground recently and any fears about Gigi's ability to meet and make new friends were blown right out of the water.

I was super shy as a child and pretty much as an adult too but I've learned some techniques to make those scary first moments of meeting - or worse yet, being forced to network - a lot less trauma-inducing.

While Gigi shows some signs of being slightly shy in group situations, she also is a kid who walks up to individual children at the library or playground to clearly say "Hi! I'm Gigi - what's your name?"

And she has obviously come up with a technique to deal with groups of kidlets.

At the new playground she walked up to a group of girls who were sitting in the sandbox, spread her arms wide and loudly announced:

"DON'T WORRY! I'M HERE TO RESCUE YOU ALL!"

Their response? One girl stood up, handed Gigi a bucket and shovel and said "Hi" with a smile.

Gigi is going to do just fine.

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And in the spirit of sharing great contests, my homegirls at Kirtsy are hosting another super fine draw with a super cool prize pack that involves bedding so check out all the details and leave a comment at the kirtsy blog (super simple way to enter, n'est pas?).

Though I'm not really sure what this sleep thing they speak of is but I'm sure it's a good thing.


Anyway, who can resist kittens and "le click"? Not me. Happy Friday y'all.

From B to G: a motherbumper PSA

Bumper has outgrown Bumper.

She is far to graceful, refined, and carefree to have a Tonka truck worthy name.

Each time I type it, it makes me wince. So now she will be referred by her current nickname.

From this day forward, Bumper will now be referred to as Gigi.

Thank Heaven for Little Girls.

First one to call her Gigli gets flaming poo in their comment/email box.