Thursday, October 23

not want yet

OK - so tonight I was going to finish off a post I've been trying to write for two days but I couldn't because I broke my one of my own rules - yes, I have rules.  Rules that may be whippy and malieable but they exist.  There is one that perhaps is more rigid than the others and that's the one I broke: "under promise and over deliver".

Oh my god.  I just realized that my life rules were lifted from those awful motivational posters every single one of my managers and bosses had during the nineties, I kid you not.

Anyhow, for some reason during the last week I said yes to too many things at the same time. I'm barely out of the mire but at least some hurtles have been run in to and dramatically pushed away (I was never much for leaping).  So who wants to sell me a new identity so I can get out of everything else?  I suppose I could just delete my inbox.  That actually happened recently and for those hours it was gone I felt more than slightly liberated after the general panic and running in triangles was over - our apartment is too small for circles.

Yeesssssss, so this post was supposed to be Want: part 2 to finish Want: part 1 but that's not going to happen tonight.

Instead:  have I ever mentioned we have cats?

We have two cats.

I think one of them *cough* this one *cough* hates me right now.
Either that, or he is trying to make me cuckoo for cocoa puffs (or the generic choco puffed wheat I'm more likely to buy because I'm one of "those" moms).

All day, every minute of the day, or maybe I'm totally exaggerating but work with me, m'kay? I swear, our cat paws at the cardboard lid of the box of tinned cat food.

*scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause)

Always with the pause.

All the live long day.
For the record, our cats get fed three times a day.  They are just bored indoor cats. I know I should probably do something about that but trust me, they live very privileged lives I'll have you know: we feed them excellent food, give them top-notch accommodations, tolerate their crazy cat witching hours, bring in little cat hookers to keep them entertained, we do it all.  OMG why am I defending myself like this? ANYHOW - SPOILED CAT TRYING TO DRIVE ME MAD.

Oh yes, we thought we outsmarted him when we moved the box (that only took a few weeks for us to figure out) but it's difficult when you have an open concept kitchen like ours.  And by open concept I mean microscopically small with sh*t piled everywhere because there is no real place to put anything.  I should have been a real estate agent.

Anyhow... he just doesn't stop.  When the box is moved, he howls.

*meowrmeow*meowrmeow* (pause) *meooooooooowr* *meowrmeow*meowrmeow* (pause) *meooooooooowr* *meowrmeow*meowrmeow* (pause) *meooooooooowr* *meowrmeow*meowrmeow* (pause) *meooooooooowr* *meowrmeow*meowrmeow* (pause) *meooooooooowr* *meowrmeow*meowrmeow* (pause) *meooooooooowr* *meowrmeow*meowrmeow* (pause) *meooooooooowr* *meowrmeow*meowrmeow* (pause) *meooooooooowr*

So.  I have to chose between *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) or *meowrmeow*meowrmeow* (pause) *meooooooooowr*.  It's kind of like being asked "Dora or Diego?" when arriving in the eternal rumpus room in hell.

So. Who wants a cat?

Now for a motherbumper PSA:

If you live in the Toronto area and want to get spoiled for a great cause, this Saturday October 25th is the Sweetmama's first Mother's Day Off Spa-A-Thon for the SickKids Foundation.  For the price of an event pass, you will receive a kick-butt loot bag full of totally great gifts worth way more than the $75 ticket price, and in addition to the loot you also get spa treatments, workouts, yoga, and almost anything that is good for a woman during the four hour event.

Better yet, want to win two free passes? Go over to Playdate and leave a comment BEFORE 5PM on Friday October 24th to win.  Just leave a comment - at Playdate not here, to win.

Easy Peasy to get all Squeezy.

Feel free to leave a comment here to show some love but you win no prize, except for my eternal devotion (retail value: $6.80 CAD).


Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Bwahahahahaha. I want to know about those pauses. Just saying. Thanks for the laughs. my life is pretty boring compared to yours. Have a great day. :)

No Mother Earth said...

Is that all eternal devotion is going for these days? When I was a kid...

The scratching would drive me bonkers. Our cat likes to plaintively meow outside the bedroom doors after everyone has gone to bed. Can I tell you how much I like that...? Especially as the Little Guy (aka Mr Sleep is for Suckers) has super-sonic hearing.

Mary G said...

There are cat lovers and then there is the rest of the world, including me (apologies to Mr Slit Eyes up there). A friend of my husbands was telling us, earlier this week, that his cats wake him up *every* morning around 4:00 am to get some attention. Cripes. I would not put up with this from anyone over three months old.
He sure is handsome, though.

Domestic Extraordinaire said...

You know what is worse than putting up with your own cat who is slowly trying to drive you insane? Dealing with your daughter's cat who is doing the same thing. Oh and that same cat now thinks she belongs to me and she makes my eyes all itchy and makes me sneezy.

Lesson from this: Before hubby says child can get animal if they have enough money for said animal-check how much money the child actually has!

Her Bad Mother said...

"I have to chose between *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) or *meowrmeow*meowrmeow* (pause) *meooooooooowr*. It's kind of like being asked "Dora or Diego?" when arriving in the eternal rumpus room in hell."


I laugh because it's true.

daysgoby said...

Won't you be refreshed and a long liquid form of relaxedness after the yoga and massages?

Massages trump full email boxes anyday.

Maybe the cat should go along??

Ali said...

Barney Stinson posters!

PS. i shit you not. my word verification is PROBE. i'm off to print screen that! huzzah!

mamatulip said...

My dad adopted a gorgeous Siamese that he named Pi. Pi doesn't shut up. He whines constantly. It's the most annoying sound I have ever heard in my entire life: MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Every time I'm there I think, "Jesus Christ, get me the fuck out of this house, back to my own quiet cat." And then I get home and I see my cat has shit on the floor and I think, "Jesus Christ, get me the fuck out of this house, back to my father's house with the whiny, loud cat."

kittenpie said...

OMG I was totally about to post about how my cat is so desperate for attention that he is driving me mental, looking for any kind of attnetion, even if it's bad attention. Picking at boxes and papers, trying to climb into the box of Pumpkinpie's paintings, meowing, generally being a compelte and utter pain in the ass. Maybe it's some special kitty time of year we don't know about?

sam {temptingmama} said...

*scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause) *scratch*scratch*scratch* (pause)

This is my house EVERY. DAY. I've tried everything to get him to stop. My last resort - let him outside which I've now done and feel incredible guilt every time open the door, but the scratching was about to make me hurt someone!

Mr Lady said...

$6.80 CAD today or 6 months ago?

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

I just kick my cat in the ass when she gets on my nerves. It only takes a couple of boots up the butt before she gets the idea.

Okay, not really. I'm totally kidding.


No, really. I'm kidding.



for a different kind of girl said...

That cat? It looks as though it has donned a fake beard and is preparing his band of fellow criminals by going over the fine points of their heist.

I would love that cat. I'm just afraid I'd wake up to find it staring at me, which would just be a continuation of my dreams. My dreams in which I am haunted by Heisty McFeline.

kgirl said...

I so can't stand my cat's whining that I just fill her bowl up whenever it is approaching empty. No wonder she's fat.

nonlineargirl said...

I can't be sure, but from that picture I would say that yes, your cat hates you.

fidget said...

things like this make me glad that I'm allergic to cats. My kids are neurotic enough

Rhea said...

You can always sell those cats on Ebay. hehe

the sits girls said...

We think an electric shock collar sounds like a good every time he meows he's shocked...ok, bad idea. We're just kidding!!


tami said...

Hey there! It was fabulous meeting you at the Spa-A-Thon and I wanted to thank you for letting me be Katie for a day. I *loved* my visit with the psychic. She was dead on. Freaky but fascinating! We gave our last appointments to someone else who hadn't had a chance to do anything yet too. So you make 2 people's day a little brighter. Take care.