the long con

Today my daughter and I had the most wonderful lunch date right after nursery school pick up.  Often we head straight home, maybe with a stop at the grocery store, or a quick play with friends before we say our goodbyes at the busy city intersections.  But today for no other special reason than I wanted to, we headed out to buy Valentines and have a bite to eat.  The lunch date was a real success.

Hmmm...I really do need to address those cards to her classmates sometime soon but that's nothing that can't wait until... oh crap, is that party tomorrow? Okay, that's nothing that can't wait until commercial breaks during LOST.

Our day was going so well that I decided we deserved a treat of chocolate - the good stuff - a small tin of truffle-filled love in individual, handy dandy wrappers.  We had two each and saved the last one for Dad.  Saving the last one for Dad was her idea - I was all for splitting it right there but she insisted we keep it for him.  It was touching to hear her say "and this one is for Dad, Mommy - when he gets home from work".

And yes, only one for him - not two - because some fancy chocolate company puts five chocolates in a box instead of six. Five? That's not a chocolate number - that's a number that says "go back and get more".

Anyhow, I thought that was adorable and mature to save the last one for Dad though I had my doubts the chocolate would last the afternoon.  She has a pachyderm's memory when it comes to sweet stuff so I figured the cello wrapped gift would last another fifteen minutes before she justified the eating in a chocolate-muffled response that includes a statement about how he would want her to have it, and she heard him say she could have it.  She's got great hearing that can span cityscapes.

I placed the gift under the stroller and our day continued.  I didn't think of that single chocolate again until bedtime when she announced she had a gift for Daddy and would like him to open it.  She trotted off and came back to present to him - while giggling - the box with a lonely chocolate waiting inside.

She appeared pleased with herself, I was touched by her maturity, and was completely taken off guard when she said "You want me to have this, right Daddy?" and plucked the chocolate from the box he just opened and proceeded to eat it right up.

I looked at SB and said helplessly "she promised it was for you" to which he responded "honey, she went for the long con and she got you good".

Oh sweet juju, we are in so much trouble.

For the record, that one chocolate in a three year old was what I'm sure is equivalent to a triple expresso in me before bedtime.  I think she hovered an inch above the bed until she finally passed out.  That girl has got my number I say.

* photo from my trip to Nashville which was overwhelming as usual - putting faces to words is always a shock and a half - the good kind.

Well it's about freakin' time...

Finally, it's back.

And it couldn't come soon enough.  You in? and who's your man?

lost

After preparing yesterday's meme, I cruised through the old photos.  It's hard to resist the lure of memories in technicolor.

If you've known me a while, this was my original avatar.  I love this photo.  Gigi was such a serious baby 67% of the time.  The other thirty-three were spent making me swoon or go insane in the membrane.

There is a distinct memory of being impatient for the appearance of more hair but trying not to let it get to me because it seemed too superficial.  Which it was because all I wanted to do was force her into cute little hairstyles before she started to tell me to back off.  For the record, she started to tell me to back off the moment she started to talk.

Anyhow, now it's screw superficial - it's all about being practical.  These days, I wish she had short hair because taming her locks is damn near f'ing impossible with the hand twirled dreadlocks that form on a daily basis.  And don't even get me started on her bangs which are in her eyes all the time - oh wait - so are mine, so maybe I'd better let that one slide.

So the knot-filled hair means basically I'm paying for that one superficial wish.   Karma can be a bitch.  Cripes, I wonder what would happen if I wished for lots of money?  I'd probably get robbed by a bunch of freak clowns right after receiving the cash.

Oh sorry, I bet you thought I was going to talk about Lost (finally, they announced when it's back) but no, I was just talking about how I got lost in the photos last night.  Boring I know, but you cannot tell me you don't do it too.  Seriously, doesn't everyone fall head first into their photo folders?

let me entertain you

Got four minutes for politics and LOST? Best video of today.

Lost for the Ages

First Assertagirl brought me immense relief when she pointed out Bumper looks more like Amelie rather than the editor of Vogue (and my little girl is definitely quirky in that beautiful Amelie way if I say so myself):


Well holy heck, it's a relief to have no more Wintour flashes and glimpses - too much attitude for me to deal with. So now it's Amelie. Cool I can deal with that.

But then Kittenpie brought up Ramona Quimby and well... that cannot be denied, both in nature and looks:

Well I'll be darned, doesn't that look like her? If Ramona is tough enough to be tattooed on your arm, well that's good enough for me.

That is a relief, and thank you for letting me sleep at night. To think that I could have been raising a Prada loving devil was hard to wrap my mind around.

Though she would probably get me into that legendary closet at Vogue AND send lots of free shoes my way.

And bags. And maybe some clothes. And definitely some make-up. I'm mean, I AM her mother after all.

Maybe I should rethink this.

Anyhow - have you been over to MommyBlogsToronto lately? This week, four of the fantastic bloggers over there wrote some kick ash stuff: Shooting for Hip (IRL: Don Mills Diva), Pick of the Litter (the librarian with sass aka Life of Pie), Restauranter (yummy it's The Petite Gourmand), and Mama Drama (the blogger formerly known as #, now known as nomotherearth). All great reads, let me tell you. You're welcome.

UNRELATED TANGENT!

So I was waiting for the bus at the subway station this morning and the conversation of two older ladies caught my attention (picture Maude's mom and Betty White + 20 years - didn't really watch the show).

OK, so I was eavesdropping out of boredom and they were the only other ones around the station. I had no book and forgot my iPod and they were talking loud enough for me to hear so what's a girl to do?

Now that we have established that I'm a snoop, let me regurgitate what was overheard. I came in just as their conversation went something like this:

Diane*:Who do you think Jack wants to be with?
Lydia*: (no hesitation) Kate. Definitely Kate.
Diane: If I was Kate I'd like Sawyer.
Lydia: Well if I was her, I'd be with Sayid.
Diane: Reeeee-ally?
Lydia: Yes. I like foreign men. My first husband was Irish.

* names have been changed because I didn't steal their purses to find out their handles. Bad security camera angles - motherbumper is no fool.

I almost started to add my two cents but stopped myself for no reason other than I was enjoying how a LOST talk was progressing between two women who appeared to be in their late 60s (and I'm being nice). They looked more like Wayne Newton fans rather than LOST junkies.

Obviously I have no idea what older people watch because I couldn't think of one show to compare to the popularity of LOST. Must brush up on geriatric pop culture.

In case you are wondering - the bus came before Desmond was mentioned (you know they had to have talked about him at some point - Lydia's husband was foreign and all). Seriously, I would have totally pegged them for Jack ladies. You really do learn something new every day.

TANGENT VEERS ELSEWHERE.

Anyhow, I'm over at motherbumper's laboratory reviewing the latest dvd offering from Bob the Builder (CAN WE READ IT? YES WE CAN!).

Oh and because I have lemming tendencies: what do you want to know about me? what questions about motherbumper don't let you sleep at night? I'm trying to write my "About Me" section but each time I start it, it bores me to tears - so please help me spice it up. What do you want to know about the blogger called motherbumper?

fade to black

I love you too Desmond

Was that the best episode of Lost last night OR WHAT? Oh Desmond, I'll be your Penny and I looooooooove you too darling!

He has moved up to the top of my "I'm crushin' from Lost" list for sure.

Oh and recent additions to the data collection on "who would you do from Lost" experiment have resulted in a change in calculations, it will now result in Shaun Cassidy (you were so right mama bird diaries):

I actually had a subscription to Dynamite and remember this issue. But the arty album WASP? Uh no, that one never entered my collection. Shirtless pic? Yeah, that was in my locker even though I was more of Parker Stevens girl. Can't deny the lure of the cuter Cassidy. You just can't.

Keep your picks coming in for your lusting from Lost list - I feel that if we skew it just right, we might achieve Fisher Stevens and that would be so FREAKY!

Yes I realize this post is slightly lame and limping but I couldn't resist saying something about last night's episode (still drooling from information overload) AND I'm as sick as a freakin' dog. BUT I also have "some good news for me" to announce next week (NO I'm not pregnant like the rest of the western hemisphere) so I'll talk to you guys later.

Right now I'm going to stick my entire body in a vat of Vicks Vapor Rub which just isn't as kinky as it sounds.

And Bobita from Blooming Yaya is conducting a research survey of parenting bloggers for her PhD dissertation (that is so cool). I heard about this over at mothergoosemouse and took part last night. It didn't take long (maybe 10 minutes but of course depends on how you answer) and I think the research is very exciting (being a research junkie). If you have the time, why don't you lend a hand, you can find the link over at mothergoosemouse's blog. Cheers.

And this is what I've learned about you

Last Friday I asked the all important, completely non-scientific, but fun to answer question:

"If you could hook-up with any Lost character, who would it be? "

My personal private hypothesis made me think I'd learn more about my readers by asking that question.

And I did.

First of all, I'm surprised that there was only one vote for Charlie (and this is why I adore Kyla, she has great taste - mmmmm musicians).

The petite gourmand listed Sawyer as her first choice but also thinks Desmond ain't to shabby (wink wink nudge nudge).

She also told me that the creepy looking dude who played Ethan Rom is Tom Cruise's cousin (thank you, trivia is one of my favorite pastimes - oh sweet lord, I'm such a nerd, why didn't I just say I also make tea cozies in my spare time?).

Ali questioned my sanity over the need to ask if Sawyer is delectably delightful. Yes, yes, I understand but you know, I was trying to be diplomatic.

Something Baby Blue and I are almost always of like mind (sometimes it gets scary, like when she dreams about liquid paper and I post about it the next day). Needless to say, SBB has Sawyer as her boot-knocking buddy.

Stimey is a sucker for accents, so Desmond would make her swooney.

Hey, informal survey: everyone who has the same weak kneed reaction at the sound of an accent other than their own, raise your hand.

Yes, that's what I thought. OK, you can all put down your hands now.

Note that Stimey also added that if Desmond is already being groped, she would be "content" with Sawyer. Content? Mmmm... I'm sure he'd leave you content

Now mama bird diaries voted for Jack. But this was based on him being Charlie from Party of Five (Editor Note: PoF? Po5? not sure of acronym, never watched it) as opposed to Jack because she doesn't watch Lost. So she is voting for Charlie, I mean Jack, wait... oh great, I'm confused.

Wait, Janet votes for Jack based on Jack being Charlie too.

Oh, I get it now: Jack as Charlie as Jack means Jack gets laid.

Now Bub and Pie made Jack (being Jack) her number one followed by Desmond and Sayid, who are apparently all very yummy. And I agree.

Jack by nomotherearth's own admission would probably be her suitor (because she claims to be square). (Editor's Note: uh? so not true). Despite the nonsense about sporting corners, she totally confesses to lusting after a nice portion of Sayid with a side order of Desmond

SciFi Dad didn't even blink and declared Juliette easy on the eyes.

Heather wouldn't kick Sayid, Sawyer, or Jack out of bed. But don't fret Desmond, Heather's taken notice now that so many ladies have said your name. Mrow. Oh yes, Desmond. She will be your Penny.

Now Victoria shouted out Jack but came right back to admit that based on her history, all signs point to Sawyer (trust me Victoria, I'm exactly the same).

My hero and girl crush, redneck mommy? Well I'm not surprised by her answer. Sayid or Sun can come by and eat cookies any ol' time.

Oh Mrs. Chicky, what does our pregnant mommy crave? She's growling at Sawyer (right on sister) and also Jin (I knew who she meant). I like her reason for Jin: there would be no wasted time with idle chit chat - no english, no red tape.

She also noted that she is turned off of Sayid after seeing him nearly naked. Apparently he was too bobble-head for her liking.

I think that it's kinda like man-hands. You just can't overlook something like that.

Oh and just in case you don't think I'm paying attention: Heather is pregnant too. Maybe that explains the possible thre*some in her daydreams.

Not a watcher of the show, but more than happy to vote: Chag proved to be a gentle and ladies man. As in: he isn't kicking too many of the ladies away (or Sawyer for that matter - Cynical Dad! You dog! I love it).

Lovely Lisa B would have had to share Sayid with redneck mommy but due to the same recent near nakedness of Sayid, she developed the "been there, done that, it's all about mountain dew" feeling. Word. (Editor Note: I bet it was the whole bobble-head thing.)

Mandy supports the trend: a pushover for the foreign guy - or more specifically - his accent. Desmond is getting LUCKY. Same for Sun [omg - I almost make a "the sun isn't going d*wn on" Elton John joke with out intending to mean ... well you know.. tee hee hee... I'm so easily amused].

Mama Tulip?: Desmond AND Naomi? (RAWR).

Izzy didn't cast a real vote but I'm pretty sure I have a hot date.

Lil'Debbie continued the stroking of my ego and made me feel all sunshine and rainbows about myself (as usual you sweet thang).

Russ admits to not being up to speed but that didn't prevent votes for Kate and Sun.

And when it comes to For a different kind of girl, Desmond just has to whistle, or say "brotha" or "Penny" or just breathe for that matter. Mmmmmm haggis is on the menu tonight.

Anyhow. What did I learn by asking you this question?

Well based on my calculations:

As you can see my hypothesis has been proven:

You are a bunch of horny devils that watch too much television. And most of you will also be able to identify either Leif Garrett or the "where's the beef" lady at 50 paces.

That is the reason that I love almost all of you guys - even the ones who didn't vote. I totally know what you do in your spare time.

If I missed anyone, leave me a note - I'd hate to leave you out of the fun and who knows, you might change my calculations to Cheryl Tiegs. It can happen.

Have a great weekend y'all!

woo me with sleep and get Lost

Romance and Love in Bumperland consists of eating kick-butt Thai food from our favourite restaurant (so good they don't deliver, we must crawl to them and beg for scraps of manna), chocolates, and flowers for all the lovely ladies (mixed bouquet for Bumper, roses for me... stop laughing... I'm a lady). Cards were exchanged, kisses, and hugs endless and then we got down to business.

Oh get your head out of the bedroom, we watched Lost like normal people and promptly fell asleep. I don't mean to complain BUT OMG WHEN WILL SHE SLEEP PAST FIVE AM?

Sorry to shout, it's just so frustrating. Moving right along because sleep deprivation is so boring. Most of you are saying: "been there, done that" so...

Ever notice how Love and Lost have the same first two letters? Oh my, that's how addled my wee noggin' is... I'm making associations between the essence of what a person wants and a damn good show (I don't care if you don't get the new season, or wish it was going somewhere else - I want my Lost and am very thankful that the strike is over - even if it means less shows).

So on this Friday at the end of the week of romance and completely inspired by this post over at the Apathy Lounge (best name for a blog or what?) where the absolutely sexiness of Desmond is discussed in detail - I pose the question:

If you could hook-up with any Lost character, who would it be?

I'd like to know because I believe that it will tell me a lot about you. Play along in the comments. You can say just the name but if you want to say why - even better. Oh and don't restrict yourself to this list, I couldn't fit everyone one and totally welcome past characters. Which begs the question, are they really gone because OMG what is up with the island?

So to shake off your LostLoveMeters and give me the dets:

Here are some men of Lost: Sayid, Sawyer, Ben, Desmond, Jack, Locke, and Hurley


And the some women of Lost: Kate, Sun, Claire, Rose, Naomi, Juliet, and Rousseau.

Did you need to ask? Of course you did: I'm a Sawyer girl all the way (Jack is sooooooo square). But I'd probably end up with Ben and making googly-eyes at Naomi (this is fantasy world people).