Thursday, August 9

Girly stuff

So I'm at the park with Bumper, doing park things when I notice this lone woman sitting in the shade reading a book.

She's at a picnic table reading what appears to be a MCAT/LSAT type book.

Placed next to her on the table is a very expensive looking purse - Fendi maybe or is that Gucci? It's hard to tell from where I'm standing. But regardless, it's expensive looking.

She starts to root around in the purse and she pulls out a case and puts on her reading glasses. Completely normal thing to do when reading.

I watch her some more. She reaches into her purse again and pulls something out without having to root around.

Good Gravy - she pulled out corn on the cob, unwrapped, no napkin, nothing protecting it from the purse contents or vice versa, and she mows into this cob like no ones business.

Is it just me or is it strange to have unwrapped, fully cooked corn on the cob in your purse? I understand a lunchbag, or even a baggie in the purse, but unwrapped?

Actually, since we are talking about purses, it's high time I mention that I've always had a purse aversion.

Girls who carried purses in my school invited taunts of being girly (woah, what a concept at an ALL GIRLS school). Being tough and rebellious was coveted and girls who worried about their make-up, enough to warrent a purse, were called slugs*.
why slugs? I'm not sure - the name had been inherited from previous generations in our school and it worked well.

Being a conforming non-conformist, I was never know for being overtly girly but I did occasionally channel Holly Golightly and carried a purse for smokes and liqueur carrying only. BUT only vintage purses from second hand shops and good will. Nothing new or god-forbid, trendy.

Now that I think about it, I guess I have never really shaken my purse-phobia.

I do own purses now - my fave is a wool houndstooth Kate Spade that I bought off eBay during my PPD months. Marathon nursing sessions drive you to do strange things (but the purse is so cute, functional, and well priced).

(I must stop with the justifications... but I can't... did I mention it matches my winter coat perfectly?

The rest of my purses were snagged over the years at Zara sale time and are in strange offbeat colours and very seventies.

Where was I going with this... oh yes, what do I carry in my backpack since I don't carry a purse on a daily basis. I will now turn my backpack upside down and share the contents:

  • the infamous dah-dee! c'ock which holds my subway tokens
  • one of my little black books for jotting down post ideas and things I should be doing for MBT
  • a wad of Dora stickers (aka BRIBES)
  • grocery list: catfood, litter, toilet paper (it's all about pussy and shit these days)
  • one lip balm in strawberry sorbet - yummy and I'm totally addicted
  • one super awesome Origins lip balm in sugar cane - totally top swag from BlogHer that came in the cutest carry bag that I don't want to dirty up with my daily romps so I just carry the lip balm that I received from Emily & Cooper from The Motherhood.
  • one fake-fur leopard (?) purse that has all my cards, id, and money (I *heart* the dollar store)
  • a pen to write down stuff in the black book (ohhh turquoise - how girly)
  • a receipt for groceries that has coupons on the back that I will never ever use
  • no corn on the cob
I'm sure you are riveted to your seats but seriously, do you carry anything "strange" in your bag/purse?

I really love to be a voyeur into other people's world and holy heck, rifling through a purse or medicine cabinet can tell you tons about that persons life (or current medical conditions).

The strangest thing I used to carry in my bag was prep-H.

Back when I was single, foot-loose and fancy-free (translation: drinking on week nights), I often had the prep-H in my bag so when I got up in the AM and had to go to work, I could rub some on the eye-lids to reduce swelling - because it really works well on tired, swollen eyes after a night of partying.

AND I'll be damned, when I went to find a link for Prep-H - they mention using it for a face cream on the Canadian site.

Woah - I was way ahead of my time.


bubandpie said...

The corn on the cob just made me laugh until I cried.

kgirl said...

I think it was sassy magazine that used to get girls to dump out the contents of their purse - I loved that feature.

If it makes you feel any better, my diaper bag is super stylish (an orange skip hop is super stylish to me) while on my own I carry a tremendous hippie sack that everything gets lost in.

But not corn on the cob.

SciFi Dad said...

far be it from me to steal a joke, but regarding the corn on the cob...

Is it possible that the purse you saw had a smaller bag inside, like maybe a freezer sized ziploc? I know my wife carries food and other potentially messy items like this (i.e. in a zippered bag) in the main compartment of her diaper bag/purse/whatever.


Her Bad Mother said...

I used to carry a wine-opener with me at all times. But so far as I can recall - nope, no con. Unless you count that corndog I stole once. To go with the wine.

metro mama said...

I have immodium in mine. Just in case.

Christina said...

Corn in a designer purse? Seriously?

The weirdest thing I have is an obsession with breath fresheners - I have two types of mints and two types of gum in my purse.

something blue said...

Hey soul mate sister! I gave a full disclosure on the contents of my stylin' Flat messenger bag (not purse) before we left for Chicago. I'm once again afraid to look in there because I've acquired all new junk. God forbid… there might be corn in there!

Kyla said...

Corn?! Hilarious! I think you'd be likely to see that in an episode of Arrested Development, although it might be a chocolate banana instead of a corn on the cob. *lol*

(it's all about pussy and shit these days)
Made me LMAO. Good stuff.

I might dump my purse for blog fodder later this week. Sounds fun. Oh, and I'm using the AOL laptop bag swag as my new diaper bag. I throw my purse in one half and keep KayTar's diaper stuff in the other half. And it's cute!

Naomi (Urban Mummy) said...

I also have a bit of a purse aversion, and actually tend to forget it if I do carry it.

That aside, I was out with some girlfriends last week, and when I went to pay for my ice cream, I found the following in my purse:

A pair of little boy boxer shorts
A small fire truck
A container of puffed wheat

Yes, I am a mom.

mothergoosemouse said...

I did not succumb to the lure of the bag until I moved to New York. And then I went a little nuts.

But I never ever carried corn on the cob in my bag.

mamatulip said...

Okay, it is TOTALLY weird for someone to pull out a fully cooked cob of corn from their purse. TOTALLY weird. LMAO!!

I have a pretty strong purse aversion too. I never understood the girls in high school who had a backpack AND carried a purse. Like, for WHAT? You can put tampons in your backpack, sugar.

I have a few purses and most of them double as diaper bags. It's never unusual to find a tube of diaper rash cream, diapers, a few wipes, a soother, a pair of Oliver's sandals, a bib and some sort of "For The Love Of God Will You Please Take This And Shut Up" toy in my purse.

Alley Cat said...

You didn't mention if the corn was buttered and/or salted. I have a hard time eating anything that didn't come out of a clean-room, so I'm still cringing at your story.

Purses always make me feel like I'm playing dress-up. My mom buys me all my purses 'cause she knows that I'll never buy my own. I have a hard time embracing "girly" as well.

"Cringe!" (Sorry, I'm back on the corn thing.)

motherbumper said...


kgirl - I remember that segment but couldn't think of the magazine - awesome.

SciFi Dad - dude, if you could have seen how fast she whipped that cob out. It was like a quickdraw at the okay corral - if it was wrapped, she has mightly nimble and quick fingers (ohhhh that sounds naughty)

HBM & MM - note that we are all like the drinking boy scouts

Christina - I usually have the listerine pocket packs but I'm afraid I'll mix them up with my LSD so I settle for not-so-fresh breath now.

SBB - I stuck an ear of corn in your purse during blogher - while waiting in the buffet line on Saturday - so I suggest it needs a cleaning - like YESTERDAY!

Kyla - DO IT - and tell me when because I'm a total voyeur baby

Naomi - I commend you for having A CONTAINER of puffed wheat. Puffed wheat and corn is always loose in my bag and ewwwwwww it gets really gross in humid weather. I'm shocked that I haven't been attacked by a flock of birds yet.

MGM - Yup I did not succumb to the bag until I moved to the big city - I think purses, like shoes, speak loudly to city folk about where you shop, what you do and what kind of person you are. Or maybe it's just so you have something to beat the roving teenagers with... who knows?

Mama T - bribes are essential (see: stickers) for mom survival in my books. And thank you, I do agree it is WEIRD to see someone whip out corn from their purse. It's like a society lady whipping out a four foot sub from their clutch during a cocktail party.

ali said...

okay..the corn? hilarious! i'm still laughing about it.

i don't think i keep anything strange in my purse. certainly nothing in the corn cob category :)

Slackermommy said...

The corn on the cob thing is just weird. Why would someone ruin a nice purse with corn juice? I wonder if she nabbed it from an all you can eat buffet?

I've heard of the prep H cream for the face and pimples but never tried it. I don't like the smell. Brings back bad post partum memories.

Mrs. Chicky said...

Corn on the cob, eh? Do you think it was pre-buttered? And I wonder what salt does to the inside of an expensive Fendi bag. Hmmm...

kittenpie said...

Okay, I am total purse whore. Love purses of many sizes and shapes, though my ones in most use currently are more like tote bags in size and content. I just don't have the energy to clean them out that often any more. Maybe I can revert to my older, small-purse ways now. Then I could acutally do this post without inventorying what is equal to the contents of most people's cars AND purses.

And Prep H? Totally an old model trick.

Lastly, I suspect she had the corn in something inside that bag. That's how I roll, anyhow. You know, when I bring snacks. Or corn.

Alley Cat said...

BTW, I joined you in the purse-dumping meme. Feel free to rifle through mine.

Lauraszoo said...

Hey! I have the same pen in my purse, no corn on the cob tho. Here's a thought: Maybe one side of her purse is the lunch box side and the other side is her purse side. Maybe it's a Fendi lunch sac?

Jezer said...

I have the exact same post-its. Except mine have my name on them. I think I'm going to do this. Fair warning, though--my bag is a mess!

nomotherearth said...

The corn is freakin' me out, man. I have no problem with carrying snacks - advise it actually - but corn?? Since the fact that it was not wrapped has been well covered...was it cold?? Ew. Cold corn on the cob.

I just can't seem to get into purses - probably because they are not large enough to hold a book.

moosh in indy. said...

She must have the Prada corn line.
Very exclusive.

Lisa b said...

Is it possible she had a baggie in the bag?
Still too odd.
Or impressive.
I'm not sure which.
Prep-h..that is so gross.

Heather said...

Why don't I ever get to witness weird things like people pulling unwrapped corn on the cob out of their purses?

And why can I only think that, if I pulled unwrapped corn of the cob out of my purse, their would be all sorts of old crumbs and other dirtiness stuck to it?

ewe are here said...

Corn? In a purse? Ugh.

And I've heard that beauty contestants use prep-h for the same reason... funny that they advertise it this way now, though...

Moondance said...

Wow, I thought I was the only one opposed to carrying a purse. I had to give in when I started wearing suits without enough pocket space for keys, wallet and cell phone. That's till about all I carry in mine. Oh, and the iPod!

Ms. Porter said...

I'm going to do the purse meme because i'm totally wasting the day away....oh and the corn on the cob ???? hilarious, what the heck?

Oh, The Joys said...

Well DAYUM. Prep H on the eye LIDS works?! How about the under eye BAGS?