Monday, July 5

At first I was melting, then there was a flash.

It was about 50 degrees in the city today (that's about a million degrees F) and not to be all cliché-ish but not only could you have fried an egg on the sidewalk this afternoon, you could have also sautéed some home fries with onions on the side without much effort. Though the effort it would take to stand over some eggs and potatoes frying on the sidewalk whilst a zillion degrees outside would be enough to make you drown in your own sweat because that's how hot it was today

Anyway, our building has an outdoor pool. Nothing fancy, just a rectangle of blue oasis that is tenants-only which makes me a happy renter on days like this. A dip in that pool really cools us to inner core and it feels great for hours afterwards. Plus it really helps with the inner cranky monsters that are less shy during this kind of oppressive heat. And I'm talking about my inner cranky monsters in addition to the ones my four-year old harbours beneath her skin.


So yes, I love our pool. Except I don't. I don't because I lost my favourite bathing suit, the plain black classic tank maillot that I've owned for years. The one that never wore out and that I procured for next to nothing at the Eaton's going out of business sale. How I miss Eaton's *sigh* and all the other high end Canadian department stores of yesteryear.

Anyway. I have no decent swim suit and this makes me sad.

I first realized I was missing the suit when we drove down to Florida this past Spring and could not find it to pack. So while on the road and during a coveted Target stop, I grabbed something that look decent off the rack, did not bother to try it on, and now guess what I'm wearing? The worst possible tankini put on this planet. Ever. EVER. Trust me on this. It does not cover correctly and it's just wrong, wrong, wrong.

It's a crime that's how bad this suit is really but do you think I've done anything about that fact? Nooooooooooooo because that would require swimsuit shopping -- HELLO NIGHTMARES -- plus I know that somewhere in this godforsaken apartment is that perfect black bathing suit. Or at least I think it is. I guess if I really knew, it wouldn't be lost eh?

Yes so. I've been wearing the tankini that should be illegal in order to cool both myself and my child off and OMG it is so *what's the word I'm looking for?* -- that's right: IT'S WRONG. Yet up until today I just told myself to stop being so worried about the fact that the bottoms don't fit great and my butt is kind of revealed more than I prefer and that the top kind of shifts around easily because I'm not trying to pick up at the pool and holy crap, everyone's butt hangs out of their suit a little bit (right? RIGHT?)

Oh who am I fooling? My bottom was neatly packaged in that black suit that HAS FORSAKEN ME.

*ahem*

Anyway. Today in the pool while wearing the tankini from hell my 4yo started getting super clingy. Like clinging to me while twisting around kind of clingy, where she's silly and doesn't realize what she's doing... LIKE TAKING MOMMY'S TOP OFF IN THE PROCESS.

I flashed a few people in the pool today and we all tried to pretend it didn't happen. Or maybe that was just me.

God I wish I knew where my black bathing suit is hidden *sob*.

4 comments:

Marilyn (A Lot of Loves) said...

I went swimsuit shopping yesterday. It was just as bad as I thought it was going to be. That said no matter how fantastic your butt fit into that black suit I think it's time to accept that it's flown the coop and git out there and buy yourself a new suit. If you don't the next time you're down at the pool you might find a group of teen-aged boys hanging around waiting to see a little somethin' somethin'.

Danielle said...

I miss Eatons too.

If you have to go bathing suit shopping, I highly recommend Eddie Bauer suits.

the weirdgirl said...

On my list of things to do when we went to Hawaii was "get board shorts". I love those things. They cover nearly everything! And my last pair fit sometime before I had a child. I was making do with a maternity swimsuit.

Kyla said...

I went swimsuit shopping a few weeks ago and grabbed (what I thought was) a top off the rack that I liked. When I took it to the dressing roon and tried to pull it on over my head I found myself inside a crotch. Heh. It was a one piece with the sort of loose layer over top? And I loved it.

It is called a swimdress which makes me feel like an old lady, but everything is right where it belongs, so whatev.