Tuesday, November 11

cross this one off the list

Sometime a gazillion-umpteen months ago, I muttered to myself,
"self, you must remember to do one of those search engine posts during NaBloPoMo this November because OMG there are a lot of strange people out there, and some of them read your blog." 
I said it to myself in my best Holly Hunter in Broadcast News voice because that just makes life more interesting.

And please note that I did NOT say that all my readers are strange people.  Many of you are totally normal *cough*closet weirdos *cough* and productive members of society.

Anyhow, it's completely fascinating to read some of the absolutely odd things people type into search engines.

I love that this person got here when they typed in biker chick travel mug because yes my kid is cute but OMG do I have the travel mug for you.  Though this travel mug is less of a biker chick and more like the town bike, if you catch my drift.  But biker chick travel mug was pretty low down on the list of seach engine wackiness and no where near as entertaining as today's top five list:


(5) steve mcqueen 1:18 #20 - I had not idea that Steve McQueen had his own book in the bible.  Must be the Chuck Norris edition.  Not surprised really, I mean it is Steve McQueen after all.

(4) what is the smell in liquid paper - I sat behind you in homeroom, right? Yah, you definetely shaved a few years off your life using it as a teeth whitner.  You really should have stuck with using it for nail polish - like me.

(3) can a border guard look through my pictures on my camera - YES for the love of gravy - YES.


(2) nyquil twitching - So sorry, just lay back and try to enjoy the green wave. Your mantra is Capital N - small y - GIANT F**KING Q!  High five for all that got that, I think that was the last time Denis Leary was funny.

and number one (drum roll please):


(1) my fucking neighbour got a mustang before I could - My daughter totally gets this man, totally totally gets this.

10 comments:

Heather said...

Man, I only get people looking for facts about zebras. I should really bone up on that.

for a different kind of girl said...

Today, a few of my top searches were "alvin and the chipmunk nies songs" (?), "baked spasagna", "what is the best kid of girl ass" and "two different kind of penises".

I don't know much about different penises or chipmunk songs, but I do know a girl's ass will look decidedly different if she eats too much baked spasagna.

Slick said...

I'm scared to look at the search terms used to get to my site...

As far as the Mustang thing?It coulda been me....

My sister got one and she knows damn well that I loooove those cars.

She traded it for an SUV so I've started talking to her again

Assertagirl said...

I was sure Chuck Norris would be in there somewhere...

ewe are here said...

border guard camera searches?
nyquil twitching?

Your searches are sooo much cooler than the ones that come to my place.

Mary G said...

Laughing while shaking head gently. I want a Mustang, too. Hey, your filing system rocks, girl.
Just signed up for a site meter that will give me some of this stuff -- I can't wait.

Don Mills Diva said...

I love search engine posts - they're the funniest.

But I am shocked that you are not the go-to site for all things Chuck Norris...

Tracey said...

I get search after search for 2nd grade jokes and boobie pictures... Which is funny in that I have only ONE kid joke posted and no boobies posted at all... that I'm aware of!

mamatulip said...

*snort* That's hilarious.

The most frequent search hits I get usually are about veneers and canine anal glands.

Yeah!

Corina - Down to Earth Mama said...

OMG, the search engine post I could write with posts like c'mon ladies strap one on, and Suckling from a Lions teat. yeah.....

Your are quite entertaining though. Steve McQueen.... too funny