Tuesday, August 12

avoiding reality

Hey, remember the other day when Gigi had a revelation about Boots the monkey and I pondered what dream-shattering revelation would be next? This latest incident proved the kid is on to me already - Santa Claus doesn't even have a fighting chance. And you know that really sucks because I really couldn't wait to screw with my kids head by telling her that a stranger breaks into our house once a year (without the benefit of a chimney) and leaves us stuff. And then in the same breath warning her to NEVER TALK TO STRANGERS - especially the ones giving out free candy or puppies. Commence mindf**k.

Anyhow, recently we were at Union Station where the walls are plastered in Telus Ads - ya know, the ones that can't help but make all kinds of folk smile with their insatiable abuse of animal cuteness. They got me during the monkey phase. Anyhow that fact is completely irrelevant, the point is - Telus has moved onto marketing meerkat smiles.

While passing through the gauntlet of huge wall-size, seemingly smiling faces of these damn cute specimens, Gigi asked me what kind of animal they were. All I really knew about meerkats was learned from staring at one of these posters back in junior high.

I imparted all of my wisdom and probably helped her get a D in grade four science. I know when she does animal science in grade school, she will flunk because I learned her real good. You know, like when we were at the zoo and I told her stuff like: There is no baby lion in this display because the lion parents ate her after she didn't share with the other baby lions and threw tantrums all the time so parents just up and ate her. Hey, I've never claimed to be a perfect mom.

Anyhow, later the same day after we again passed through the gauntlet of meerkat in the train station and then boarded a subway plastered in the very same ads. It's nonstop meerkat in Toronto I tell ya.

Gigi had now stepped up the meerkat conversation to what they are to the WHY phenome. Everybody loves the WHY component of parenting - don't they? (says the momma pulling her hair out in chunks).

So yes, she wanted to know WHY there were pictures of meerkats everywhere "in 'dis place?" (that's how she talks, and when she says "in 'dis place" she spreads her arms wide and shakes them like she's some mini Al Pacino). Excellent question my grasshopper of cynicism, question the corporate intention.

So I told her that the meerkats were selling phones to commuters. She pondered this answer for a few minutes.

Then she responded with a voice so laden with disgust, it dripped: "Mummy - meerkats don't sell phones. They don't use phones". Oh yes they do grasshopper, cute sells to the masses, right after sex.

Oh and in case you are wondering about the cat - that's my parent's cat and his look pretty much mirrors mine. Deer caught in headlights. Gigi and I are at my parent's house this week, doing family business. Which makes us sound mobish. So I think I'll run with that.

17 comments:

Kyla said...

What else would a little Al Pacino be doing, other than family business?

She's a smartie, that one.

Mayberry said...

All the Swahili I know, I learned from a meerkat. Hakuna matata!

motherbumper said...

Kyla - she's gotta do da' bizness ya'know.

Mayberry are so right - I know more about meerkats than I originally thought - they speak SWAHILI!

Ali said...

that cat *might* give me nightmares...

SciFi Dad said...

That child is insanely bright, MB. In-sane.

IRISHKAT said...

Even scarier - one of the kids at my school looks just a meerkat.... and he talks!!

PS: I have some bizness for you ova here - http://irishkat.blogspot.com

mothergoosemouse said...

Nobody even knew what a meerkat was until The Lion King came out. Now we all go around acting like we've been watching NatGeo channel non-stop.

Tracey said...

Personally? I find meerkats creepy. They appear to be ready to pick someone's pockets, when their backs are turned...

Assertagirl said...

This post reminded me of a school project my step-brother did years and years and years ago. It was a display project entitled, "They're Not Mere Cats...They're Meerkats!"

Hope you're having a nice time out east!

Jezer said...

Oooh, boy. You're done for. That's one smart little cookie.

kittenpie said...

Can't get much past that kid.

And I LOVE meerkats. They were always my favourite at the zoo. They are big right now because of that TV show, Meerkat Manor, which I have never seen, sadly, not springing for Animal Planet. INstead? Try the book Meerkat Mail. It's hilarious.

nomotherearth said...

You know I'm going to use that lion story, right?

My mom used to say that if we don't believe in Santa, then he won't bring us any presents. So, I believed. I wanted presents. (Hey, it worked.)

Heather said...

But WHY are they in DIS place???

Chag said...

I'm with Kittenpie: the meerkats are one of my favorite exhibits at the zoo.

Loved your baby lion explanation! That alone should've put a stop to some of the questions.

Anissa Mayhew said...

I think it's safe to say that your daughter is Mensa fodder. Good luck raising that!

Laura said...

Right after my 9 year old son said he knew about "making sex", he went upstairs and put his tooth under his pillow.

Should a nine year old know what sex is? And should a 9 year old still believe in the tooth fairy? I'm so confused.

Hakuna Matatah!

for a different kind of girl said...

You totally parent so much better than me! I parent by pretending to be deaf. When the why's start, I go deaf. I blew it a few times early on by turning toward the child when the question started, but I learned quick. Now I just stare straight ahead, like your parent's cat, who I wish to kidnap and keep as my own. I don't want to kidnap Gigi, but I'd like to borrow her and her 'dis talkin'!