Gigi at this very moment just had one of the biggest revelations of her life and I hope she isn't scarred by her discovery.
She was watching her dose of Dora and she suddenly blurted out "HEY, monkeys don't talk".
Wow. I didn't see that one coming. What's next I wonder and does anyone want to hazard a guess?
Anyhow on with the show.
Last Friday at a playground playdate, I was enjoying my day and just minding my own business - the business of keeping Gigi from maiming or mutilating anything in her path of destruction. It was one of those days and I have the bruises to prove it.
Gigi was having a blast and the other mom I'm hanging with all of the sudden blurted out "HEY LOOK WHAT I FOUND!" and reached into the sand to scoop out a subway token.
To say the least, I was a wee bit jealous. That wench, I mean beautiful lady just found two seventy-five in the sand. I'm like totally TTC depended and that was one nice free trip home. But I hid my petty envy and congratulated her on her find (I kid, I said nothing and pretended I did not hear about her lucky find because I'm petty like that). The other mom who had joined us, sans kids BECAUSE SHE'S SMART, congratulated her on her newly acquired token, so my bitchiness was not noticed. I think.
Anyhow, twenty minutes later I was walking down the street with the other moms & kid team, when I saw a small piece of paper seemingly stuck to the sidewalk ahead. I reached down and scooped up what I quickly realized was a cheque.
The "finder of subway token" mom asked me "how much is it for?" as she saddled up next to me, so I start reading off the amount... um... let's see... I slowly read the number off: 251, 371 dollars and 95 cents.
Um, a quarter of a million dollars?
Dudes, I totally trumped her pansy-ass subway token by a long shot.
So tell me folks - what would you do with it? I actually called the signer of the cheque and told his assistant (yah, when you write cheques like that, you have an assistant and probably somebody who will chew your food on your behalf) who laughed when I said what I found. Then she repeated outloud "you found a cheque on the street?" and I heard someone in the background yell out "YIPEE!". And then after putting me on hold for a couple of minutes, she asked me to drop it in the mail thankyouverymuchandgoodbye - end of conversation.
I knew I should have tried forging it first. Screw this honesty crap. Bah.