Thursday, July 27

lap dogs and other accessories

So yesterday I headed to the Apple Store to clothe the newest member of our family, the 60G video iPod.

Sweeeeeeeeeet new edition to the family if I do say so myself.

She (yes, SHE because it is so amazing) required one of those rubber catsuits with visor so she can travel in style, comfort and safety.

Now I must say that these iPod accessories are freakin' over-priced and should be included with the iPod since you just have to think about picking the iPod up to get finger prints on it. And if you are even mildly OCD like me (actually I qualify as ragingly OCD) then you are picking it 60 million times a day just to wipe off the prints. And then you have to pick it up again because you left prints on it cleaning it last time. And the cycle NEVER ENDS.

That reminds me of that episode of Friends where I finally related to one of those women (Monica) when she had a wished outloud for a tiny vacuum for her dustbuster, which she in turn had just used to clean her larger vacuum. I wish for things like that. And I do vacuum my larger vacuum after I'm done using it. And I wish I had a Dyson but that is neither here nor there.

Now what the hell was I talking about? Oh yeah, I went to the Apple Store yesterday.

Bumper and I had a good time at the mall and because it was summer sale time, I found some great things for husbands birthday (which is next weekend). If husband is reading this, stop reading now. I SAID NOW!

Okay so I'm not really going to reveal what I bought him because he is like me and has very little self-control and would still be reading at this point. Actually that is a lie. Not the part about him reading this right now (because he would be) but the self-control. We quit smoking a few years back and never have wavered (though I dream of smoking sometimes and if someone is smoking in the movies, I get all antsy but when I pass someone smoking on the street it kind of grosses me out... go figure). Anyways... can someone yell "TANGENT" because this is what this is!

Apple Store. Downtown. With Bumper.

So you know how they have these little kitchy kiosks in the mall? They sell things that wouldn't warrent a store but need a marketplace. They have a neat little row of them near the Indigo and sometimes stuff catches my eye. Like the wig one. I'd love to buy a real wig and wear it, just because I'm a girl. I like to do girly things. And then there is the Hello Kitty kiosk: if I ever need a rice cooker or vacuum I know where to go!

But one kiosk really caught my eye yesterday: it had little world cup onesies and hats. The top one was the Italia blue and I thought wouldn't Bumper look great in that. So I picked it up and held it up to her. Something looked strange. I couldn't figure out the bottom where the snaps usually are. I started to look at it and tried to find a tag to find the size. Was I holding it upside-down? Where are the freaking tags? Why is the saleslady looking at me strange? And now why is she talking to her friend in another language and laughing at me? Am I being paranoid? (yes, always) What the heck is up with these tiny Italia suits? How small can a baby be? Do premmies really wear little onesies? WHY ARE THESE SO FREAKIN' SMALL?

And then that's when it hit me. This was a dog kiosk. A kiosk that caters to small lap dogs. Not cute children. DOGS. And I was trying to outfit my child there.

I am such a bad mother.

Yes it's true. My mother tried to dress me in dog's clothing. She sucks. But I love her anyways.

Speaking of bad mothers (how's that for a segue?) go check out the Ladies of Toronto (and Southern Ontario) round robin interviews. These interviews are beyond cool and you can learn something new about one of your fav reads or maybe find a new blog to lurk!

Now I must go and sulk because I'm not at BlogHer.


penelopeto said...

can i shop at one of those places if my baby has sampled cat food?

aahh, contemplating the sippy cup - very important work. great pic.

mamatulip said...

I am laughing so hard I literally have tears in my eyes. We were at Old Navy a few nights ago and there were these really cute onesies and shirts there...cute colours, fun stripes, cute little scottie-dogs on them. I'm all like, "Oooh, Oliver would look GREAT in this!"

Yeah. It was all for dogs.

I'm not at BlogHer either. Can I sulk with you?

(I love that picture of Bumper. SO CUTE.)

Jezer said...

OMG, this is the THIRD time i've tried to post a comment. In short--I want a cigarette, I would have done the same thing with the clothes, AND that picture of Bumper is priceless.

But yeah, OH so with you on the smoking.

metro mama said...

Hey, an honest mistake.

I'm sulking too.

Christy said...

I'll join you on the sulking thing. Perhaps we should have gathered on a Toronto patio to sulk together? Your daughter- prettiest little thing! Thanks for sharing.

crazymumma said...

Oh I laughed so BAD...Anne

Woof Woof

sunshine scribe said...

I am laughing so hard right now. I actually BOUGHT a doggie outfit for my friend who had a new baby. She is one of those friends who tell it like it is so instead of sparing my feelings she promptly called me to tease my ass off as soon as she figured it out. Ahhh

I love your tangents by the way...that is exactly how I talk :)

pseudostoops said...

Wait, I'm sorry, need to delurk for this because let's back up. There was an entire kiosk of world cup apparel JUST FOR DOGS?! Talk about a niche market. Your onesie idea is much better.

Sigh. Wouldn't it be nice to be in San Jose right now? (As someone who once lived there and hated every god-loving minute of it, I never in a million years thought I'd say that.)

Bri said...

That was hilarious, if it was me I would've just bought the outfit and scurried out of there!

tania (urban_mommy) said...

So with you on the smokes. I pass people on the street and say "God that is so gross, can I have one?" So weird. I love that scene in Friends too! I also vacuum my vacuum, cause you know, the static attracts all the pet hair and, well, cleaning equipment shouldn't be dirty. And I TOTALLY want a Dyson. Was in Crappy Tire the other day and fawning all over it like Ralphie to the leg lamp in a Christmas Story.

BTW, you can get rad - yes I said RAD - skins for the iPod at Delphic on Queen Street West. Tres coo-el.

lildb said...

how bad a mother can you be, with the human version of ice cream and cake sitting at that table?

no. really. how bad? 'cause she appears, to me, to have a damn fine momma. also, a good momma. *wink*


Mother Bumper said...

u_m: you said rad... ha ha...RAD. Love it ;) Thanks for the skins tip, I'll try and check that out. I don't get downtown as much except when I go to the parks. And it's too damn hot to head down into the sweltering streets. Sigh. Uptown living is wearing on me. Anyhoo.... Dyson - I'll stop the world and melt with you.

u_m and Jezer: I can't believe how much I miss the ritual and the breaks... those glorious breaks at work for the smoke. I knew all the gossip. I still have packs of Dunhills from all over: States, UK, Asia. I'm not sure why I hang onto them but I do. Sigh.

soleclaw said...

I've never been a smoker, so I don't dream about smoking. I DO dream about iPods though. My husband earned a raise (though we haven't officially gotten it yet) and he promised me an iPod for working out at the gym. I can't wait. I drool every time I pass the Apple store.

Jenny said...

Ha! I just posted about what a bad mother I am but suddenly I'm feeling all good about myself for now putting Hailey in a dog outfit.

I do however have a leash for her so I guess I still suck a little.

PS. I've totally bought wigs from the wig kiosk before!

Brenda said...


Here is a tip for you about affording an iPod: Go to a Best Buy or Future shop and buy the cheapest scratch and dent one the have; send in the warranty card. Drop it repeatedly until it stops working(Try not to damage the outside). Maybe step on it after leaving it in your pants on the floor (yup that's what happened) and send it away to get fixed and they will send you a new iPod. However do this in the first 6 months or else you will have to pay shipping, A LOT OF SHIPPING. You will pay them to FedEx you the approved box, which you will send the iPod back in; then they UPS it back to you all at your expense.


Brenda said...

I smoked for about 4 weeks in highschool, then it became too much of a hassle to buy smokes. When I was an "adult" and would go out drinking sometimes I would end up smoking because I craved smokes so bad. It would only be between 2 and 5 a year; and yet clearly I was hooked.

I gave up that and pot about a year before I started trying to have a baby. So 2 or 2 1/2 years ago. And lately all I have wanted was a smoke.

I am so glad you can't smoke in bars anymore, stops the cravings(sometimes)


Oh and don't feel bad about the dog outfit thing. I keep threatening to use the electronic collar on hubby and the baby when he get to be a toddler terrorist. That is why I got the expandable model that can control up to three collars at once *lol*