Saturday, May 8

There Are Some Things About Adulthood That Really Suck.

photo: sassyradish flickr
There are some things about adulthood that really suck. Like paying taxes. Or shelling out full fare on transit. Or not being able to throw a tantrum anywhere, anytime, for any or no reason whatsoever without being called an asshole. Or the one that has really been bugging me recently: not being able to leisurely dismantle a sandwich cookie in a public setting using fingers and tongue without more mature adults thinking your soft in the head.

In my observations when sharing something like a bag of Oreo or Fruit Cream with a group of kids and their tagalong parental units, inevitably all the adults will eat their ration like it's a regular single layer cookie; two or three bites with no particular plan of execution, only a singular focused goal of digestion. The shame.


A sandwich cookie needs to be savored and dissected in order to fully appreciate its cookie greatness. The top layer serves as an appetizer to prep the palate for the upcoming cookie extravaganza, next is jelly removal [if applicable], then the slow, deliberate savoring of the cream-filled centre, followed by a crunch aperitif of cookie bottom.

Yet for some reason, one that I don't really understand but am bound to, adults do not eat their sandwich cookies this manner when in the company of other adults [spouses and best friends excepted.] Children may do so in public though cantankerous adults may chastise a child during one of the stages of the junior connoisseur's cookie appreciation, usually citing it as outlawed food play. One might wonder if the chastiser wishes she could be eating her cookie just like that [something I may or may not be guilty of in the past.]

And maybe even during one of those such past events I was driven to visit the local grocers after being forced by my inner voices to eat a sandwich cookie 'like an adult'. And during that store visit I may have bought one (or two) boxes of sandwich cookies to eat in the privacy of my own home, where the voices can be silenced and the four year old never questions my method of cookie disposal -- as long as I share.

Yup. There are some things about adulthood that really suck.

8 comments:

Peggy Sue Brister said...

I like to eat Oreo's and chew them all up nice and yummy like then let all the black goodness get all jammed up in my teeth then smile real big for my kids so they can yell OMG MOM GROSSSSS!! I like to embarrass my kids any chance I get since they have done it to me growing up so many times. Always love to return the favor. Cause I am mother of the year like that.

Haley-O said...

Oh, keep the immature dismantling of cookie sandwiches ALIVE. Don't hide. Be YOU! ;) Do I EVER want an Oreo RIGHT NOW. Grrr...

Skwishee said...

I, for one, am proud to admit that I haven't really grown up yet. I will ALWAYS eat my cookies as the four year old in us all prescribes. And now, I'll know the people shooting me dirty looks are really just jealous :)

daysgoby said...

I am not fond of Oreos.

I will grapple you, though, for the right to tear a Nutter Butter apart and lick out the filli......

(Commenter has left the building. Presumably in search of sweet, sweet peanut buttery goodness.)

Melissa said...

I do it anyway. But then again I'm a weirdly methodical eater about everything so people just ignore me now.

kgirl said...

You made me want an Oreo, and I don't even like them.

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

Feel free to eat your cookies any way you want to around me.

季洪雅 said...

先告訴自己希望成為什麼樣的人,然後一步一步實踐必要的步驟。 ..................................................