motherbumper on modern dentistry

Back in July, a mere 12 hours before I was leaving on a jet plane for that big ol' party in San Francisco, my daughter did what any child would do in the same situation (that situation being she's staying home while mommy is going out to have fun), she made sure that she did something worthy of an emergency room visit.

She took a swan dive off her bed and landed on her front teeth. Well actually, on her left front tooth. She smashed that puppy into next week, got up off of the floor, wailed like a mo'fo (rightfully so), and started bleeding like she was Carrie at the prom. I almost fainted and her Dad had to play the good cop.

Good lord, who knew a child could produce so much blood from one small tooth mangling.

After I recovered (I'm so selfish) we assessed the situation and due to the nauseatingly angled tooth dangling in her mouth, decided we needed professional help. Now if that's not a loaded statement, I don't know what is. But moving right along....

We spent the next four hours in the ER because her docs office had just closed approximately 20 seconds before the accident, thus forcing us to go with the masses. Of course a seasoned parent would have said suck it up kid and here is some ice for your boo-boo but I'm neither seasoned, nor should I have the parent description on my resume most days.

And guess what? They told us there was nothing they could do and that we should take her to a dentist in the next 24 hours. So I assigned that task to SB and we went back home to grab some sleep before I left for SF.

The next day, I tore around the apartment trying to get ready to leave. But I just couldn't leave without saying good bye to my Gigi, so I snuck in to give her a kiss. There she lay, looking like a cross between Angelina Jolie and a duck. Her lips were so swollen. I know there are some Hollywood ladies that would give their husbands left nut for that kind of pout but that is neither here nor there.

ARGH - how am I to leave my baby when she looks like a Jolie-duck hybrid? But I did (remember: I'm selfish and cheap and the tickets were non-refundable).

I remember sitting on the plane trying NOT to think about her, and getting to SF and trying NOT to think about her, and spending the whole weekend trying NOT to think about her. Each time anyone asked me "how are you?" I'd babble incessantly about the damn tooth. I'm sure it was annoying for many because I think they wanted to discuss my obsession with Chuck Norris and perhaps plan an intervention.

Anyhow, enough about me - Gigi saw a dentist who pronounced it okay and said to keep an eye on it for changes, and do the ol' wait & see.

Fast forward to last week. Gigi and I had just come home from a playdate when something caught my eye. I asked to look in her mouth and sure enough, that tooth had turn grey - like yucky dishwater grey. Oh gawd, it's happening... my baby is going to lose her tooth. She's gonna go years without a front tooth.

I kept picturing this:

But then I thought, perhaps we can work with this gap toothiness. Maybe I could get her one of these:


Or why stop there, why not get her this:


With the prospect of shopping for jewels on the horizon, I took Gigi to the dentist and tried not to think about any procedures they may have to perform in order to get us to the Glitter Tooth stage. I also tried not to think about how much she is going to hate the dentist after this experience. Because I hate dentists as much as I hate clowns so nothing I would say on the topic was going to help.

So off to the dentist we went. I won't bore you with the details but I cannot tell you how relieved I was that they decided the tooth can stay - even though it's as grey as all get go. It was debatable but examinations and x-rays revealed that nothing was rotting and the lack of an abscess meant that no infection was lurking under the surface.

I was so freakin' relieved. Apparently I picked the right freakin' dentist because he participated in a study at Sick Kids that proved that tooth removal in this type of situation may be too radical a procedure. Back in the day, a tooth like Gigi's would be removed as a precaution but he said the trauma inflicted on a young kid outweigh the chances of infection and tooth rot.

OH MY GAWD I PICKED THE RIGHT DENTIST. Score one for motherbumper's mothering mad skillz.

Though I must admit, I'm disappointed that we won't be going grill shopping. Damn. I wanted to get us mother and daughter matching grills along with some fancy ol' brass knuckles.

that's right kid, floss and keep 'em pearls nice and grey