Friday, September 12

but does it have a finished basement?

As mentioned, I'm currently home shopping and just like clothes shopping, I read all the ads/go into all the stores, even the ones I can't possible afford. This one caught my eye.

What I like about it:
  • backs into a ravine which is sweet - no surprise future construction to block views
  • boasts seven-thousand square feet - should be enough for storing my extensive and almost complete beanie baby collection
  • has a dramatic foyer just made for me and my over-the-top dramatic entrances - I like to pretend I'm Scarlett O'Hara and do the whole "As God is my witness, as God is my witness they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again. No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again. " all while waving around a ham sandwich
See - it's pretty darn perfect for my family of three... (click to enlarge)

Except.... what I really need to know is "maliciously maintained" mean slashed drapes or is there actual blood-splatter on the walls?

Someone's office staff really needs to learn to be less reliant on spell check. Like I'm one to talk but hey, I love pointing fingers.

24 comments:

Mayberry said...

That is maliciously magnificent.

You have to check out http://lovelylisting.blogspot.com/. Jenny (bloggess) twittered it and it's THE FUNNY.

SciFi Dad said...

maliciously maintained conjures up images of someone gritting their teeth and cackling evilly while doing handywork... sort of like Mike Holmes when he finds shoddy work under the flooring.

Heather said...

Maybe it means they found out all the colors that you don't like and painted the rooms those colors.

Always Home and Uncool said...

that means they tortured all the roaches before executing them

Kat said...

Is it just me or does it look a little like an office building?

Laura said...

I am peeing in my pants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God knows, if I had to maintain that mansion, I might be doing it maliciously. I think I will maliciously go and do the laundry now....

flutter said...

people were super pissed off while maintaining it?

nomotherearth said...

Ha! Typos like that make my day. (Hell, they make my week. I don't have a lot going on.)

Schmutzie said...

You are being featured on Five Star Friday:
http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2008/09/five-star-friday-edition-23.html

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Maliciously maintained?? HA!

I think that house is too casual for you. Better keep looking.

Ali said...

maliciously clean is what my son does when i send him up to clean his room

(which i now do when he tells me that he's bored)

for a different kind of girl said...

Huh...

Now I think I know where my Mom is when she's gone for a few days and I can't reach her. She's over there, cleaning houses, probably muttering crap under her breath about my hair.

(p.s. As a former newspaper editor, I would cut this out, tuck it in my wallet, and save it forever!)

mothergoosemouse said...

How the hell does someone so stupid make enough money to own a house like that?

mamatulip said...

Maybe that's where the bodies live - in the Maliciously Maintained Basement?

Domestic Extraordinaire said...

hmmmm, it does make one wonder what the person had to be malicious about. Maybe a place like that has a way of changing a person....stay away Motherbumper, stay away!!!

Stimey said...

That is hilarious. Will you call the agent to ask and then tell us?

Assertagirl said...

Real estate agents need not have a college or university degree. Hell, or even a high school diploma.

Rhea said...

maliciously maintained?! haha I love it.

I like to pretend I'm Scarlett O'Hara also, but that's because there are multiple people inside of me trying to get out.

Wow, that came out creepier than I meant. hehe

Chag said...

I love finding typos in ads. Especially ones that mean the exact opposite of what they were trying to convey.

Whit said...

Wow, if it was really bloodied up you could probably get a better deal.

the weirdgirl said...

That's rather beautiful in its way. I instantly thought of bacon stuffed in the walls and sabotaged toilets. What's the price on that place? Oh wait, I bet THAT'S the malicious part!

the mama bird diaries said...

That is maliciously hilarious!

Love it.

Alex Elliot said...

That is pretty funny! It would almost make me want to take a tour just to see it!

Denguy said...

Maybe it's some kind of modern-art design, expelled physical and mental angst while decorating.