Wednesday, September 3

Le Freak

So far this morning my daughter has told me that good girls get money, good girls get cars, and good girls get smarties.

It's enough to make me hang my head, cry, and then suck it up and tell her how she can get more if she "works" it just right while maintaining dignity and respect. Hey, if you can't beat it, might as well do it well.

I kid.


This is all coming from a lady who has a whorish looking travel mug. So take that for what you will.

Anyhow, many have asked "where you be motherbumper?" so I'm here to answer that exact question. Okay, no one has actually asked me where I've been - but in the big party in my head that never EVER turns off, I've imagined one or two of you have asked where the hell I have been.

I think I know why no has really asked because I'm beginning to think we are all in the same place. Seasonal transition reeks havoc on parental units regardless of stage of offspring development.

So let's see if I can account for myself before I strike out and find out what you've been doing. OK, here it goes:

I've been freaking out over in my Toronto Savvy Source spot about nursery school and the preparing for said nursery school adventure. I've woken up every morning for the past few days, just freaking out. I repeat: FREAKING OUT.

I've also been stalking my bathroom cupboard. My crazy cat has me convinced something is living in the back - in the very back where I shove lots of stuff and it strikes me as a damp, possibly some evil Narnia-like entrance to a place where slimey, yucky things live and emerge from their underworld homes. I get shivers just thinking about it.

Anyhow, the cat keeps freaking out in the bathroom and then ripping open the cupboard with his strong little paw (cat has an awesome one two punch - and his upper cut is killer - just ask our other cat). AND THEN, he gets up into the cupboard and starts howling, and pawing around the plethora of stuff I have shoved under there. OMG it's freaking me out so much. I WISH HE WOULD STOP.

Gigi on the other hand doesn't give a crap about anything. She just wants her damn smarties.

I think she's on to something and chocolate may solve some of my problems.

I've also been looking at home floor plans like a demon. We gave up looking for a place to live a while ago but it was renewed again recently so I'm like a fiend and trying to create a new list of "what we want", "what we need", "what we can live with", "what we can live without", "where we can do this thang" so I can start stalking real estate thingys.

I'm really rusty at the real estate stuff since I gave it up a while back but I'm getting back into it with renewed energy. Of course we have no plans to move soon, but it's fun getting back into dreaming of homes - again. *big sigh*

To review: I'm freaking out because my baby is going to school for the first time, I'm freaking out because something is living in my bathroom cupboard, and I'm freaking out because I have a phobia about committment and homes are so much of a committment. Yup, I'm a freak.

So what's freaking out today? Freaks love company.


Janet said...

My baby started part-time preschool this morning. Then I came home to participate in a conference call where a client said what I wrote for them "didn't quite hit the mark." Rewrites? Awesome.

Yeah, I'm freaking out a little today. Thanks for asking.

Lynette said...

Me? Started back to work yesterday and the crap is ALREADY hitting the fan. Can somebody get me a raincoat or maybe an avoid the splatter?

Mike said...

Don't worry it gets better with time. Mine are teenagers and I'm just now getting used to them leaving the nest.

Isn't crazy when the cat knows more about your house than you do...

Mamalooper said...

Monkeygirl starts nursery school next Wednesday - also her first time at a drop off program. I have been her "b*tch" for the past almost three years.

She is so fine with it so far - I am the one who is all sentimental...esp. since she is our only child.

Kat said...

Constantly freaking about my upcoming move to England. 4 year old started school this morning, didn't really freak out about that until my husband didn't show up with the car until 15 min before she was supposed to be there.

Mandy said...

Freaking out about going back to work and not really knowing what I'm doing. (New title, new position.)

Freaking out and alternately in denial about having a third kid in 24 weeks.

Denguy said...

I'm freakin' out trying to think of something to do with my TWO-AND-A-HALF HOURS OF FREE TIME I'm getting every day starting tomorrow.

Mayberry said...

I spent allllll day yesterday freaking because I found a homework assignment that my daughter should've done before the first day of school. She starts the year delinquent and it's totally my fault!

for a different kind of girl said...

I'm freaking out that today it is 68 degrees here, and that's a 20 degree difference from yesterday, so my kids need coats and pants, and they've yet to realize that their pathetic excuse about growing over the summer does not jive with my uber-lazy attitude about pawing through containers of cool weather clothes that may or may not fit them. Would your cat come over here and do that job for me?

OMG! You know what? Can't cats sense spirits? Do you think there is a ghost in your bathroom cabinet?! Kinda like in Poltergeist, but it doesn't disrupt your TV viewing by being a bitch and jacking with the cable reception? I suggest you teach that cat to add a round-house kick to it's fighting repetoire!

kittenpie said...

I had a slight freak-out over the start of daycare today, but mostly I'm freaking out about having a baby in two days and being not ready. House is in chaos, don't have a name yet, don't foresee and rest time in there, though today has been stunningly unproductive, as I am tired.

And our old cat used to stare at this one corner of the bathroom all the time in our old house - jsut a corner. No idea why. Cats are weird.

mamatulip said...

I'm freaked out by the fact that Dave put this pork roast on the bbq and it looks like a fucking armadillo.

Tracey said...

One thing that is often overlooked when purchasing a home is its entry way areas. A front porch with a covering is a must for me. I hate searching for keys and getting wet. I must have elbow room to get the groceries in without falling off the front step (our current home. dangit.) Also, is there space for the muddy shoes during a party? Or for people to mill around during the hello /goodbye stage of a party?

Very important in a home.


Anissa Mayhew said...

Perhaps your cat has just developed a "thing" for tampons...who knows what happens in the minds of those freaky animals!

My freaking out? When a doctor sticks a needle in your child's back and then purses up her lips and say "hmmm, no, gonna need to do that again". Freak out followed by overwhelming desire to rip throat from body.

Mac and Cheese said...

I'm freaking out that my mom went on vacation and left me to care for two kids by myself all day long. I'm also freaking out about your bathroom cupboard.

Ali said...

you just need to raise your freak flag high. like i do. heh.

(ps. it could have been Emily who taught her what good girls get. hahahahah)

Heather said...

freaking out a little that I've gained back 4 pounds.

Don Mills Diva said...

I'm freaking out about getting through film festival stuff next week.

Laura said...

Four kids to get up and out by 7:30am..lunches, homework, 9 year old attitudes, uniforms to iron, the freakin ENDLESS PAPERS that need to be filled out and signed, crappy piece of house I live in that is never ever clean, an Alice in Wonderland birthday party my daughter expects me to pull off in 2 weeks, everybody and their freakin mother ordering cakes right at the beginning of BACK TO SCHOOL...and why is it only 8:45 AM and I already feel like it should be dinner time????

And I am feeling like this on DAY 2. A whole year ahead of this. And THAT freaks me out.

Redneck Mommy said...

I'm out here freaking about what I was still freaking out about before.

But now it's getting INTERESTING.

Move your freaky ass out here and you can have front row seats for the drama.

Miss you Katie.h

Backpacking Dad said...

Freaking out about Savvy posts.

jdg said...

I'm freaking out because I haven't thought about that movie Freaks in like ten years.

I still shiver when I think about that guy with a head, two arms and NOTHING ELSE.

the weirdgirl said...

I'm actually glad to see other people slacking on the blog front, because I was freaking out over my slackerly life approach lately but if other people are slacking too I don't feel so bad. I'm also freaking out about not finishing several key projects. Wait, that's about slacking again.

Can we propose a ban on the whole freaking/slacking combo? (Or, really, just the freaking part. Slacking is totally allowed.)

Assertagirl said...

Oh how I wish you could move out here...a brand new house is under $300,000! We've been looking at models and floor plans for a few weeks now and it's almost ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT. Come be my neighbour.