Monday, August 18

mediocrity is highly underrated

Holy cow, I've been quoted over at Blogtations. And guess what - I still find shaving too much of a responsibility. Penguins have it easy man.

Go on over and check it out, this place is the total Bartlett's of blogs and gawd knows that Bartlett's saved my illiterate ass so many times back in those undergrad days. I could probably put them in my degree acceptance speech, the speech I was never asked to give. My alma mater really didn't know what they missed by not putting me up on that podium. Why are the underachievers never asked to make a speech? It's so unfair. Mediocrity is highly underrated.

Speaking of acceptance speeches... (wow, I didn't veer too off the beaten path in that segue which is unheard of - don't worry, I'll find a way to lose you soon enough)

Kick Ass Blogger Award

OK - so I always forget to do this stuff and instead I just print off a thousand of these award doohickeys and roll around on them on my bed, trying not to think of all the trees I just killed while simultaneously trying not to think that I might look like Mike Myers as Steve Rubell in 54, because that scene just kinda creeped me out, and then I roll over, take one of the awards, light it on fire and then forget I don't smoke cigarettes on a daily basis anymore and then proceed to burn my precious precious bangs off. THIS IS PRECISELY WHY YOU SHOULDN'T GIVE ME AWARDS.

Holy run on sentence.

And holy ungrateful and ungracious reaction motherbumper.

Audrey Hepburn, I am not. Marlon Brando, maybe, but Hepburn - sadly no.

ANYHOW - long of short, that deliciously wonderful Kat at Sassy Irish Lassy awarded me said "kick ass blogger" award because: "Katie makes me laugh like nobodies business with her wicked sense of humor. "

That's so beautiful. And kick ass.

So with such an honour comes responsibility - and that is probably why I instantly forget I've been awarded something because responsibility is so daunting and full of responsible shit that I just go totally irresponsible like and shrug it off like a cheap wig. But I must MUST prove myself more responsible because... well I don't know why, but I must. So here goes the responsibility side of things:

I must pick five bloggers that epitomize "Kick Ass Bloggers" as defined by the lovely MammaDawg. Oh my holy hell. OK, here it goes:

I'll probably name five people who have already been awarded this because I'm so far behind my blog reading that I'm still stuck in July (and I'm not kidding).

Stimey from Stimeyland because I she definitely kicks ass because she gets me, she really really gets me (oh sweet juju, am I going all Sally Field or something?)

Jezer from JezeWhiz because we've been in it for the long haul, through incarnations and such and I still love her and totally want to kick her ass (wait.. that's not right...) OH I totally think she's kick ass.

Black Hockey Jesus from The Wind in your Vagina because I want to prove to him that even when you get totally popular and shit, you are never too big to get your ass kicked. AGAIN, I'm misunderstanding the point of this award. OK, he totally kicks ass.

Jessica from daysgoby because she's my home girl AND kick ass (got it right that time) - and I know for a fact that this is a double award for her but I still couldn't resist because she's just so kick ass.

The petite gourmand because every time I see her in my bloglines it makes me happy which is totally kick ass. Somehow she juggles all that she juggles and she also makes me really hungry all the time which is unfair but I'll forgive her for that.

Wow, that was kind of easy. Perhaps I should take on responsibility more often. Do I have a fever? What was up with that statement.... screw that, I'm going back to bed. Make your own breakfast kid.


Jezer said...

Honey, you can kick my ass any day of the week!

I'm not worthy, but thanks from the bottom of my ghetto boo-tay.

Don Mills Diva said...

Congrats on the award - coouldn't agree with Sassy Irish Lassy more!

daysgoby said...

But NEVAH more kick-ass than Motherbumper!

thanks, chick.

Mayberry said...

Congratulations on kicking ass and naming names!

Mandy said...

congrats on a well deserved award...

and at least they didn't cue the music and haul you offstage while weeping. ;)

for a different kind of girl said...

You and your run on sentences totally turn me on! Let's combine them with my dug holes and massive paranthetical statements and let them rub up on each other!

You ARE so kick ass!

sam {temptingmama} said...

You're the kick ass-iest of the kick assers.

Kyla said...

Mediocrity IS highly underrated. I'd say we should print that up on a t-shirt...but that seems a little ambitious for a campaign supporting mediocrity. Dude.

Congrats on the award. Evidently I kick ass, too, but unlike you I am too mediocre to have acknowledged it in a timely manner.

Black Hockey Jesus said...

I am totally flattered and thank you very much. I remember when I started blogging, you did that blow by blow spelling bee thing with Cynical Dad and I thought "Wouldn't it be sweet if Motherbumper noticed me?" And now look. Dreams come true.

But you need to know that I'm going for the world record for being the biggest dead end for passing awards on. I hoard them. But I never spread them. Lazy. Lawless. Black Hockey Jesus.

kittenpie said...

They should totally get teh udneracheivers to do the speeches - they'd be way more entertaining and less earnest and shit.

And it's ture - you ARE one kick-ass blogger lady.

musing said...

Very happy to feature you!

Mediocrity is highly underrated.

See? There's another one. Seems quotes flow from you like a fountain.

Anissa Mayhew said...

Laughter as only a truly great run-on sentence can produce is bubbling out of me. Keep kicking ass!

Immoral Matriarch said...

That sassy irish lassy is onto something I think. :)

Stimey said...

You had me at penguins.

Thank you. Coming from such an ass kicker, I feel totally like I kick serious ass. I loves me some motherbumper.

jen said...

i can't believe you forgot to mention me. is it because i am prone to kicking penguins?

IRISHKAT said...

What I really wanted to say was "Katie makes me laugh so hard I wet myself with her wicked sense of humor" but didn't want you to get a complex about causing my bladder instability. Wooo - talk abut a run-on!