Thursday, July 31

talk to the hand

When it comes to toys, Gigi is pretty much like most kids - she has way too many and it's usually the most annoying toy that is the favourite. You know, the one that creates the biggest headache and teeth-grinding is also the one that warrants a hell hath no fury kind of tantrum if it's misplaced or - gawd forbid - lost forever.

Not that I ever hide or "lose" her toys on purpose *ahem*. Because that would make me a bad parent, right? Or just normal?

Anyhow, SB and I have recently hit a lucky streak. We really hit the jackpot because if we lose her current favourite toy well we are f**ked too.

Gigi likes our hands.

Yup: hands.

I'm not sure who started it (bets are on my cheap-ass husband) but for some reason Gigi likes to use our hands are her dolls. As in, playing with baby.

She will grab one of our arms and start rocking and talking to baby and doing all the stuff most kids do with dolls. She also usually ignores the rest of the body attached to her "baby".

Our hands have names. My left hand is "cupcake" and my right is "strawberry". SB is "toohoo" and the always original "baby" though I'm not sure which name goes with which hand. I don't think it's important.

Best thing about this latest craze: we always have one of her toys around and I cannot tell you how many times this has saved my butt on the subway.

Though the handdolls hasn't really helped on road trips because driving down the 401 with one arm extended into the backseat so it can have it's 'diaper changed' is nearly impossible. It also would be super hard to explain to the police officer when pulled over. "Sorry officer, it was an emergency diaper change for my - uh - hand?". My standard line with the cops is "I'm being chased by the devil" while making devil horns with both hands and looking as insane as possible. Which isn't really that hard. ANYHOW.

Sure, folks look at us like we have three heads when they see us letting our daughter contort us into sometimes painful positions but I know they are just jealous that they spent so much on name-brand, licensed toys and creepy looking dolls when in reality, baby dolls were so easily on hand (hee).

High five for free toys!

Only problem, she tries to detach them from the packaging with so much force, I'm afraid I may dislocate my shoulder before she grows out of this phase.

Based on the scary/slutty looking dolls that hang on the shelves these days, a shoulder dislocation is a risk I'm will to take. Anyhow, Gigi has demonstrated she has very little tolerance for anything so trampy looking - gawd knows I hear it every time I go to slap on some war paint.

25 comments:

Assertagirl said...

I've read a lot of posts written by parents and I have to say that this is the first I've heard of this "hand baby doll" phenomenon.

You should show Gigi the Addams Family. She might like Thing.

for a different kind of girl said...

Sometimes, when I can get my kid to leave the house, I run through the place with a garbage bag and fill it with toys the boys apparently can't live without, yet the toys can apparently live without them since they never get attention. If they played with hand babys, this would make my actions a crime. Thus, long story short, maybe there's a reason my body can only make boys. It just knows I'd be a pansy ass behind bars. And all this time my husband thought it was because he was so viril!

iMommy said...

Assertagirl is right -- but get a Thing doll! lol. That would be amazing. But I suspect that part of the fun for her is that it's your hand or daddy's hand that she's manipulating :-)

Mac and Cheese said...

If you got a manicure, would Gigi then reject your hands and declare them "wrong"?

nomotherearth said...

"I'm being chased by the devil" Ha, ha! I'll have to use that one. I can do a really good Exorcist voice too.

kittenpie said...

That is pretty funny! IN our house, luckily, small stuffed dogs and a few cats serve as babies, though we do have a few Groovy Girls as starter dollies. They are cute and cool, but have makeup-free little girl faces, no figures, and wardrobes that are a bit cooler but not overtly trashy.

jen said...

oh god, K. hilarious. and it would drive me insane. how do you hold the wine if strawberry and cupcake or whathaveyou are busy napping all the time?

Jezer said...

Now that is a cheap and handy little habit (and I am so sorry for that pun) for a kid to have. At least you always have something to keep her occupied.

If only Al would use my hands as toys and comfort objects instead of my boobs.

Ali said...

she is, by far, the most hilarious kid on the planet.

Mamalooper said...

I'm still smiling over the Topo Gigo photo..."kiss me goodnight, Eddie".

Anissa@Hope4Peyton said...

You'll have to get a multi-cultural group of friends to come over so she can have babies from around the world to play with.

Ok, way less creepy statement when it was still in my head.

mamatulip said...

The last line of this post totally cracked me up.

Always Home and Uncool said...

The Things give great shoulder massages. They only change a nickel a minute. Where should I send them.

TentCamper said...

That is too funny!
Maybe you can pick up some old manaquin hands for her...then you can have yours back.
Imagination of kids amazes me.

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

I know it's wrong, but I'm just glad she didn't name one of your hands "Mary Palm and her Five Sisters".

yes, so very wrong.

VICTORIA said...

That is too funny, typical for he age though I think. My dtr used to play with crayons as if they were people at that age. Yeah...the crayons would talk to eachother for HOURS.

RookieMom Whitney said...

You know we just put that post about 10 free toys you already have in your house on savvy source. I guess I didn't think of my own body parts. Thanks for the tip!

Maggie, Dammit said...

Human hands would be way harder to accidentally vacuum up, too.

Not that I know anything about accidentally vacuuming up toys....

Immoral Matriarch said...

I almost vomited at the sight of those plastic prostitutes. Bllleaaah.

I'd like to play with your hands too, if you don't mind. :)

Lisa b said...

I don't even know what to say about this.
I wouldn't say that I am jealous, but the bratz there do really drive home the point that there are worse toys.
So I went on to the post below and I was having even more trouble coming up with a comment there.
so yeah. you have not linked to chuck in forever but your last one about googling him was awesome.

Lisa b said...

sometimes I wonder if people think english is like my fourth or fifth language. No people. Its not.

Kyla said...

You know, KayTar did something similar with my hand last week and I totally thought of Gigi.

While in the hospital one of the FAVORITE games we played was finger people. You know, where we used our pointer and middle fingers to symbolize people and acted things out. Who needs a dollhouse when you've got finger people?

Andrea with the Flipflops said...

My youngest would kill to have one of those trashy dolls ... why oh why can't she just be happy with hands!

The Broken Man said...

I love it! Hope our baby goes for "hand-dolls" instead of nasty plastic ones! :)

The broken Man

http://theblogofabrokenman.blogspot.com/

Dana said...

I can't stop giggling. What a hilarious child! :)