1 + 1 = meltdown

Okay - get this:

On a whim, today I decided to take my daughter to a city park called Riverdale Farm (it has animals, it's in the city, and it's free) and I took her without any of the following items:

• drinks
• snacks
• stroller
• cash
• and obviously, sanity

Did I mention we also did this via public transportation?

Clearly a person is insane when they attempt this kind of adventure with a high spirited, snack-happy kid who demands to be carried every half block. When I do give in and carry her, she refuses to wrap legs around me or position on hip, and instead chooses to dangle until the I just cannot repeat "please help mummy and please just hug with your legs" without the fear of adding expletives between each word. Then I place her down and force her to walk until the demands starts again at approximately fifty paces out.

Today our original plan was to get my driver's license replaced (long story - maybe later) and based on previous experience, I expected that it would take at least an hour or two. Because of the frequent long waits, I wanted to get us to the office early (we did all our passports last year and we were there for six weeks - we lived on Baby MumMums and condensation collected of the AC units).

Well today, we walked into the office, they asked me what I needed, they give me a number, and then proceeded to immediately called my number. WTF? I walked up in front of about 150 people and was out the door in under five minutes. I could actually feel some of the long range daggers in my back as I left the office.

Anyhow, the quick trip kinda left our day wide open, so after joining SB for an early morning coffee break I had the brilliant idea of going to the farm. Before it was out my mouth, Bumper was chanting "FARM" like a lunatic sports fan who worshipped team faaaaaaaarm. Well how could I deny that?

So off we went.

First mistake: I forgot which subway stop we needed to go to which resulted in walking three city blocks because I was sure the next station was on the next block (and so on, and so on). Then I got us on the wrong bus and ended thinking it was waaaaaay closer than it was and made the kid walk something like ten zillion blocks unassisted. This long range walking was a first for B and the fact that she survived that ordeal has proven that she can do it, so sorry kid, the free rides are over.

Anyhow, I was kinda hoping all this exercise would work in my favour and take the edge of her her usual endless energy. Mostly I was praying for this because I was beginning to realize all the items I did NOT have on me (see above). Sure I had the pull-ups/diapers and wipes (thank da *%$@ because I almost used them all today). But because I rushed us out the door in the morning, I forgot the basics.

Despite my short comings in the parental packing skill area, the farm was loads of fun. For two hours we ran around, saw the cutest damn baby animals, and walked what I'm sure was every path, all while drinking the water and juice I had bought with purse change. I figured we'd be home in time for lunch, and because she ate a big breakfast, we would be fine.

omg I'm so obviously delusional.

My child likes her snacks and no snacks means tantrums. Sometimes she doesn't eat snacks but I almost always have them on me - just in case. I figured I'd be able to find something healthy on the way, something that doesn't cost more than my purse change or a store that takes debit. While I'm sure that I passed a few of those places on our way in, I surprised by the lack of healthy or affordable snacks at the farm. So here we were, blocks away from lunch and my child had decided she wanted to STAY AT THE FARM - FOREVER.

Or at least that is what she told pretty much all of eastern Toronto when I tried to suggest leaving. Then I tried applying leaving and the full-throttle-on-the-ground episodes began.

Now I subscribe to letting tantrums run their course and as long as she isn't hurting herself or anyone else (or the place is completely inappropriate). I believe it's better than trying to suppress her emotions. Also I find when I do it this way the tantrums run shorter and in no time she is up and totally acting as if nothing happened. Which always makes me do a double take.

Well today, we can say I did many many double takes. I had to facilitate so many meltdowns, I felt like I was on an episode of Nanny 911 - except on Nanny 911 it's usually a montage of a meltdowns while ours seemed like they were one right after the other. I really felt for her, the poor kid - she was pushed to the limits.

There are about fifty other stories to tell about this adventure.

Like how she argued with me over the penis on the hen (there was no penis on the hen - trust me). She wouldn't let it go.

Or how she told everyone we encountered she was going to see where tweety bird worked.

Or how for every single baby animal she saw today produced the following statement from her "awwwwwwww look at the cute baby" in a total high pitched sing song voice.

Or how she has adopted a new laugh and it sounds EXACTLY like Pee Wee Herman's famous "hee hee".

But only one story is needed to wrap up this post. Tonight, at bedtime she leaned over and said to me "I liked the farm today mommy. Can we go again?". There is no way to say no to that. But next time, I'm packing supplies. Momma ain't no fool. Twice.

BTW - thank you so much for all the meme tags, supportive words, and nice stuff (even you Sage). I now have enough memes to stimulate the old brain hole and try to stop the stuttering. Thanks guys, it really is appreciated.