Wednesday, April 2

I should be careful when I ask - part 2

Part 1 of "I should be careful when I ask" can be found here.

I'm still doing my East Coast Tour and I'm leaving for the so called "controversial" Camp Baby in an hour. The fact that I'm doing something controversial makes me giggle because I'm super mature like that.

Honestly I'm just curious to see what Johnsons & Johnsons has to say and also it would be nice for the big corporations to get it right when dealing with the mega-force known as parent bloggers. Maybe we can steer them in the right direction.

If not, I'll just grab as much free shampoo as I can before they secure a restraining order. I'm faster than the cops most days. Actually it totally depends on how much I've had to drink - but that's another story all together.

Anyhow, this is part deux of the questions and this time I'm just tackling a couple because I'm sharing a computer with my lovely parents who have foolishly graciously volunteered to take care of my rabid badger beautiful child while I gallivant around with fellow bloggers in the land of Tony Soprano.

Mrs. Chicky asked:
If you could pick one person, alive or dead, movie star, rock star, or person you know, to slather in chocolate and nibble at like a candy Easter Bunny for ever and ever, who would you pick? And why?

EASY F'ING PEASY: Viggo Mortensen. He doesn't even need to be dipped in chocolate, though that would be a nice bonus. He is the one thing that distracts me from my lovely SB. And SB understands (I hope).
Of course the only time I had the chance to see the guy in person I just happened to be 10 months pregnant and looking like Jabba the Hut. SB and I went to the TIFF premier of A History of Violence (uh - best sex scenes EVER) where I had to get all hot and giggly while trying not too looked too pained from sitting in the most uncomfortable seat for the love of art.

Oh Viggo, you are the Princess Leia to my Jabba. RAWR.

Oh and why? Well if you met my SB you'd figure it out. But you won't so let me just say that he draws me in like a tall cold drink and his boyish charm, political awareness, deep intellect, steadfast opinions, and rock hard sexiness makes me swoon. Just like SB.

If you are done gagging over my gushing, let's move on. I'm skipping down the list of questions because the others are too involved so I want something easy.

My girl crush Jessica from Daysgoby asked:
Why Motherbumper? Why the title of your blog, and why do you call yourself Motherbumper?

AGAIN - EASY PEASY (don't sue me Jamie Oliver for abusing your little catch phrase)

For the entire length of my pregnancy - which seemed like at least year long - I referred to my Bumper as... Bumper. She was like a pinball from week sixteen onwards and I remember that very first moment I felt her bumpin' about. I thought I had the wickedest gas ever but quickly realized it was her. It was pure fetal magic that could not be quelled with any kind of antacid.

Anyhow, when it came time to dream up a blog name, I started with her "name" since she was my inspiration for blogging. As the creative brainstorming juices flowed, I thought "hmmm well I am her mother so why not motherbumper?" I liked the fact that it sounded just like motherf**ker and with that the heavens parted and the voices in my head sang out "SO BE IT" and so it was.

True story. Except for the heavens parting thing - it was actually a hole in the floor opening up with flames and brimestone shooting out - but the image wasn't as pretty.

And considering I say mo'fo' in my head about once every two minutes, it's easy for me to remember.

So next time you swear at the person who cuts you off in traffic, maybe you can yell MOTHERBUMPER instead and somewhere a little devil will get it's pitchfork.

OK - I gotta go run and catch a plane but I'm far from done answering questions. There is so much more to come - like the story of how SB and I met, my preference between mayo and mustard, some of my regrets, my regrets of regrets, and regretful regrets. Or something like that.

Oh and I'm over in the lab today reviewing the newest Thomas & Friends (as in tank engine) DVD and their latest adventures in Sodor.

Mmmmmm Sodor sounds like Mordor which makes me think Aragorn which brings me back to yummy Viggo and makes me miss SB more than ever. DAMN YOU LITTLE TANK ENGINE (*shakes fist in air*).


Chag said...

I've always wondered where motherbumper came from as well. Thanks for answering that!

kittenpie said...

I often DO substitute motherbumper when I get caught halfway through, actually - then I wonder if I'm taking your name in vain. Sorry 'bout that.

And Viggo is a cute thing, though no Matt.

Heather said...

Oh Motherbumper! I like the sound of it too.

nomotherearth said...

Now I will forever say Mordor instead of Sodor - it will drive the Boy freakin' nuts.

Gawd, you make me laugh.

something blue said...

Ahhhhhh, you all gushy! That's too sweet.

I'll be waiting for the rest and I'm placing bets on mayo because mustard is too yellow. Unless we are talking honey mustard because who doesn't love honey?

Backpacking Dad said...

Ok, but Viggo with, or without, the Freddy Mercury moustache and shorty shorts in G.I. Jane?

Ali said...


Vanilla said...

So if I like to use MoFo a lot can I substitute MoBu instead?

daysgoby said...

It works!

Have so much fun!

And don't worry about the delectable B - you KNOW your parents are going to have a fierce time with her, loading her up on chocolate and teaching her to play poker... (What? That was only my parents?)

Janet said...

Viggo is delish, muthabumpa.

the mama bird diaries said...

Have fun at J & J. I'll be at jury duty.

And I liked finding out where Motherbumper came from.

kgirl said...

i too have substituted motherbumper for mofo - when the chilluns are around.

Mac and Cheese said...

Are you in the dog house with SB? That's REALLY gushy for you.

Your blog name has always reminded me of mo'fo. It's probably why I started reading it in the first place.

Mandy said...

I loved reading all the questions and answers!

Have fun at J&J and remember that you can stuff a lot in a big purse!

mamatulip said...

I hated that movie.


Kyla said...

I hated a History of Violence. It made me cringe 95% of the way through for some reason.

Sometimes you can even dress it up a little and yell BUMPIN MOTHERBUMPER!

Rusti said...

I'm still drooling over the pic of Viggo... I might just have to make this post my "homepage" so I can see him all the time... I love him too... did you see Eastern Promises??

Awesome Mom said...

I never thought that Viggo was all that hot. My sisters go nuts over him, but I am more of an Orlando Bloom kind of gal.

Stimey said...

Yep. Viggo as Aragorn. It simply does not get better than that.