Monday, October 29

panic drawer

Nothing like panic to greet you on a Monday morning.

As I dragged my lazy butt outta bed this morning, I heard SB talking to Bumper about the cats.

I could hear him asking Bumper where Emmett is. Emmett is our smallest, smartest, and sneakiest cat.

Bumper said she didn't know and started on her usual hunt, the hunt she does any time something is missing:

"Ehm-it - where are you? Where are you Ehm-it? Where are you?"

She will do this for her doll (tiny baby, where are you?), Me in the grocery store (MOMMY, WHERE ARE YOU?), or inanimate objects (playdough, where are you?). See her pattern? She has a low recovery rate but a lot of heart. BTW - playdough never EVER answers.

So here we are - Monday morning and I wake up to a search for the cat.

how many cats can you fit in a tiny box?

Let me back up folks: for those who don't know, we live in a postage stamp size apartment - it's super small and doesn't offer many places to hide - even when you only weigh five pounds soaking wet.

SB and I discuss the search for Emmett and quickly realize we hadn't seen the cat since dinner yesterday.

Yup - we are really REALLY great pet parents.

As all the usual hiding spots prove empty, we begin to panic. Did he somehow get out last night and now is facing the big bad world by himself? He's an apartment indoor cat, with no id, food or money.

How long will he last before he is targeted by some large chickenhawk tomcat who pimps him out after having him hooked on china white catnip while making empty promises of love? OMG HE WILL NOT SURVIVE!

SB keeps his wits about him and gets out the jar of cat treats. If shaking that jar doesn't bring E forth, well - that means he is long gone. I hold my breath in anticipation - we haven't exactly been having good luck and karma around these parts lately**.
** post worthy but I just shudder at writing about our bad karma right now - later folks

*shake, shake, shake* goes the bottle of cat treats

Nada, nothing. OMG poor little Emmett is definitely turning tricks as we speak - OMG what do we do?

I can see the worry on SB's face, he slowly walks around the apartment shaking the jar, as our other cat follows him around yelling "stop teasing me mo'fo'!".

When SB enters Bumper's room he hears something.

*muffled noise* mrrrrrrphhhhh *muffled movement* mrrrrrrrrphhhhhhhhh

Holy crap - the cat was trapped in Bumper's tightly closed sock drawer since at least 6pm yesterday.

More than 12 hours in a sock drawer - now that sucks.

leave me woman - I need to sleep after all that... umm... sleeping

Happy Monday Y'all!

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Now back to regular scheduled Monday programming.
hey kid, did you know you snore?

18 comments:

SciFi Dad said...

This begs the question: how did the cat end up in the drawer, CLOSED, in the first place?

Hopefully, karma will be more kind to you this week. (But remember, karma no likey deception, missy!)

JayJenny said...

Oh my, what an adventure and on a Monday no less! I'm glad to hear that the cat was safe, although somewhat oxygen-deprived. Here's to hoping your karma is changing for the better!

Kyla said...

Poor E-mit! LOL.

Saturday at the park, KayTar was takign a walk with Josh and I called out, "Hi KayTar!" and she couldn't locate me in the crowd and she started calling out "KaaaayTar! Where are yooooou?" LOL. She gets the concept, but can't quiet figure out how it all works.

Chemical Robotiks said...

Emmit sounds like a worthy adversary

Redneck Mommy said...

This post is making me wish I had a cat once more.

But then Nixon, the World's Greatest Dog, Ever. would have his nose out of joint and my husband would be annoyed, so I'll just covet your cat...

something blue said...

The same thing happened to my cat Cookie when I was a teenager. Of course I went walking on the Prairie streets sobbing "Coooo-kie" while she slept in my drawer.
Then I promptly fattened her up so she couldn't fit into my sock drawer.

Oh! I need a creative genius. Glee... Emailing you.

kittenpie said...

OMG I totally know that panic, because our indoor Henry got out a few weeks ago and we chased him all over the block before retreating and letting him come to us. I thought we'd never get him back. So scary.

(And poor Emmett! How did he hold up? That's 12 hours of bladder holding and hunger, too. Yikes.)

nomotherearth said...

Hey, do you think my car keys are in that sock drawer too...? Poor kitty.

I'm going over to check out your site now. I have banner needs.

Lisa said...

Hahahahaha!!! Just the laugh I needed at the end of a long day.

Stimey said...

Dude, that's rough.

I thought I'd lost my sister's (secretly kept) cat when I was cat-sitting once. I was wandering around on the street tapping on a can of cat food when I ran into the landlord's son.

Turns out the cat was safely in her apartment hiding, E.T.-style, on a shelf.

mothergoosemouse said...

Oh, kitty in the sink. I always thought it was so cute when our cat would curl up in the sink.

I can hardly believe your cat stayed so quiet for so long. Wow.

Cakabaker said...

I'm glad you found the poor Emitt, and that he was none worse for the "wear" :)

Denguy said...

Okay, I get it now.
Upon first read, I thought your opening was:
PICNIC DRAWER
Nothing like a picnic to greet you on a Monday morning.

Which, when I finished reading your post, made no sense.

Anonymous said...

Omg your cat is adorable. Looks so fluffy and huggable :D I found my cat in a box last night too! She must have climbed up thinking there was a top to it and fallen in as it was quite a tall box.

Tc. x Happy Halloween

Oh, The Joys said...

I am overcome by the teeny butt at the end. So cute.

Mrs. Chicky said...

Doood. Your cat was locked in a sock drawer? How the hell does that even happen? My cat is so fat (how fat is she?) she'll barely fit in a closed closet.

Mac and Cheese said...

Ya know, I'm sure I left a comment yesterday, so either it was deleted, or I'm having word verification issues. Either way, I'll say again that that must have just been a sucky night/morning for you all, especially for poor Emmett! Glad he is ok. I hope the karma thing is getting better too.

Susan Getgood said...

When my son's cat was a kitten we had a similar issue. With one of our dogs when she was very young too.

In both instances, unbeknownst to anyone the animal had gotten itself in a comfy position upstairs, the room door was then shut, and she didn't respond to the calls.