Nothing like panic to greet you on a Monday morning.
As I dragged my lazy butt outta bed this morning, I heard SB talking to Bumper about the cats.
I could hear him asking Bumper where Emmett is. Emmett is our smallest, smartest, and sneakiest cat.
Bumper said she didn't know and started on her usual hunt, the hunt she does any time something is missing:
"Ehm-it - where are you? Where are you Ehm-it? Where are you?"
She will do this for her doll (tiny baby, where are you?), Me in the grocery store (MOMMY, WHERE ARE YOU?), or inanimate objects (playdough, where are you?). See her pattern? She has a low recovery rate but a lot of heart. BTW - playdough never EVER answers.
So here we are - Monday morning and I wake up to a search for the cat.
Let me back up folks: for those who don't know, we live in a postage stamp size apartment - it's super small and doesn't offer many places to hide - even when you only weigh five pounds soaking wet.
SB and I discuss the search for Emmett and quickly realize we hadn't seen the cat since dinner yesterday.
Yup - we are really REALLY great pet parents.
As all the usual hiding spots prove empty, we begin to panic. Did he somehow get out last night and now is facing the big bad world by himself? He's an apartment indoor cat, with no id, food or money.
How long will he last before he is targeted by some large chickenhawk tomcat who pimps him out after having him hooked on china white catnip while making empty promises of love? OMG HE WILL NOT SURVIVE!
SB keeps his wits about him and gets out the jar of cat treats. If shaking that jar doesn't bring E forth, well - that means he is long gone. I hold my breath in anticipation - we haven't exactly been having good luck and karma around these parts lately**.
** post worthy but I just shudder at writing about our bad karma right now - later folks
*shake, shake, shake* goes the bottle of cat treats
Nada, nothing. OMG poor little Emmett is definitely turning tricks as we speak - OMG what do we do?
I can see the worry on SB's face, he slowly walks around the apartment shaking the jar, as our other cat follows him around yelling "stop teasing me mo'fo'!".
When SB enters Bumper's room he hears something.
*muffled noise* mrrrrrrphhhhh *muffled movement* mrrrrrrrrphhhhhhhhh
Holy crap - the cat was trapped in Bumper's tightly closed sock drawer since at least 6pm yesterday.
More than 12 hours in a sock drawer - now that sucks.
Happy Monday Y'all!
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Now back to regular scheduled Monday programming.