Tuesday, September 18

banjoes make me uneasy

What the heck was I thinking?

On Monday, I extracted from the VCR: a large fridge magnet, two dominoes, and what amounted to a full pad of those tiny sticky notes. I used tweezers to extract most of these items. We haven't used the VCR since the pre-baby years, it's old, dusty, and apparently a toddler magnet.

I should have known that all electronics with slots are toddler magnets.

Back in high school, I briefly dated this guy who's mom had surprized everyone by having another baby when he entered high school. I still think 15 years is a long time between kids but she was young, happily married, child taking off for university any day now, so wtf not? Anyhoo, at the time I was dating him, he had a little toddler sister.

Long story short, he thought that I could be romanced by watching Deliverance. Yes, Deliverance.

Skipping the obvious problem with that titbit of my tale and moving along to the toddlers and VCRs aspect:

So there I am with now established to be very weird kinda boyfriend watching a scene that scarred me for life, when all of the sudden the VCR spat the tape out. It spat it right out onto the floor to sit next to my jaw which had landed there right after the crossbow solved the squeal like a piggy problem.

could not bring self to use Deliverance photo, this will have to scare you

The tape would not play in the VCR and I had no issue with the movie being cut short (OMG! OMG! OMG! I knew right there and then that I was scarred for life) .

It turns out when they took the VCR in to be repaired, the repair men extracted two forks and part of a grilled cheese sandwich. Little sister todder was the only grilled cheese connoisseur in that family. That was enough to prove her guilty and a lock was installed on the sacred VCR.

Well for the first time in years, I wanted to play a tape in our old VCR. A sing along nursery rhyme VHS tape was given to Bumper by one of our neighbours of the senior variety.

That neighbour said her grandchildren were now too old to enjoy the tape and she thought Bumper might find it fun. Bumper was thrilled when she received the tape. Nice neighbour gave it directly to her thwarting any chances of me avoiding another possible toddler-addictive substance of little substance.

So after a useless adult versus toddler discussion where I obviously had the weaker argument, I went to use the decrepit VCR and of course couldn't get the tape inside the machine because of all the surprises that waited just beyond the flap.

During the object extraction, I was momentarily thrilled to find the dominoes. After all, I had been searching for those because they were missing from a very nice set but the sticky notes were annoying requiring tweezers, a flashlight, and twisted fingers.

Once I was actually able to insert the tape, the loudest non-food crunching noise came from inside the machine. The tape did not play and I know had a mad toddler on my hands.

So this brings me right back to my opening statement: what the hell was I thinking... when I said I'd take on two toddlers* tomorrow?

* I'm kidding the "what the hell was I thinking" statement only ran through my mind when the VCR incident happened.

A friend and I are going to try giving each other some relief by taking turns watching both the toddler girls during a day each week. The girls get along great, are the same age, and her girl is an angel [
not just saying that if you are reading this - she is]. But OMG Bumper can be such a bad influence. My friend is so going to regret this or hate me [OMG please don't if you are reading this].

Think of me on Tuesday people, when I will be outnumbered by the Lilliputians for the first time ever.


b*babbler said...

This made me chuckle, because every time I think about having a second I panic just a wee bit at the thought of being outnumbered.

OK, I panic a lot.

Good luck tomorrow!

metro mama said...

Wow, you're brave! Good luck!

Kyla said...

You know? They are easier in multiples. They keep each other busy instead of running us ragged. It made them perfectly happy to see us trailing behind their toddler tornadoes, clearing the wreckage in their wakes. LOL. Just don't clean until they are done destroying, or you'll end up doing it 200 times.

mamatulip said...

You'll do FINE! Rock on, mama!

I had to laugh about the Deliverance thing. I've never seen that movie and it's not because I don't want to...it's because I'm kinda scared to.

crazymumma said...

You've got me deedle eet deet deet deet deet deet deeing my fave ever banjo moment in the history of western civilization....

kittenpie said...

Heh. My boyfriend in high school and I BOTH had toddler sisters, so it all worked out! Plus, his parents let us babysit and didn't care what we were up to. ;^)

and you know, this is why we installed a plexiglass door with a child latch over the chelves containing electronics. Heading it off at the pass, as they say. I had just heard too many tales of grilled cheese and peanut butter and so forth.

One last - Kyla's right, it's easier when you are not the sole entertainment, they can play with each other as they get older. it's good.

Mrs. Chicky said...

You'll do great with two toddlers. Sit them down in front of Deliverance and you won't hear a peep out of them. Except, perhaps, for the screaming that will come later.

nomotherearth said...

Without the benefit of experience, I have to agree with Kyla. At least, I'm hoping that two kids will eventually amuse themselves, or in about two months, I'm going to be screwed. (And not in a good way..)

heathersway said...

My friend and I swap kids like that from time to time. It is HEAVEN to have some time alone and I agree with Kyla too. Apart from the fighting over toys, they do amuse each other and kind of let you off the hook.

Okay, and Burt Reynolds naked? Are you trying to bring Sexy (Hairy) Back?

Heather said...

The previous commenters are sooo right. Kids are actually easier in packs. Especially if some of them are not yours. You know, kids always behave better for other people. And they stop you from screaming at your own...

JaniceNW said...

Dayam! That's one ugly hairy man! EWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Thanks for fueling my nightmares for the next week. Romance and Deliverance? Holy cow! Is this guy in jail now?

Toddlers are very clever when it comes to putting things in slots. Don't miss that part. LOL.

Lady M said...

Two forks and a grilled cheese sandwich? That's an enterprising child. Good luck with the sitting-trade. It's a great idea.

Chag said...

I like Banjos. That photo of Burt Reynolds, however, made me quite uneasy. He's like a gorilla.

petite gourmand said...

that sounds like a great idea

the toddler exchange, not the VCR+foreign objects thing..

good luck!

something blue said...

Ok Burt takes the cake on disturbing. LOL

We had a penny in our VCR for the longest time and couldn't get it out.

Naomi (Urban Mummy) said...

I still panic a little bit when I'm left alone with my 2 boys. Seriously.

But 2 toddlers of the same age might not be too bad. At least if they are around the same size, neither had an obvious size or weight advantage.

(Can you tell I have boys?)

Hope you had fun!

motomama said...

tee hee. this reminded me of when i took my printer in to be fixed as it was making crunching noises .they told me they found a sandwich in it that my 2 year old had decided fit nicely. the shop was nice enough to let me slide on the consultation, but they had a good laugh.
...and remember, your will is better than theirs combined.

Liberal Homeschooler said...

Luv the furry Burt.

Do what I did and get rid of the VCR. Then when well-meaning neighbors (people cleaning their junk out) give you tapes you can honestly say you can't play it.