Monday, August 20

The Bat

It was the look in her eyes that first tipped me off. It's a glint of planning something funny and seeing an opportunity for execution.

This was the next thing I saw:

She had been playing with her oversized baseball bat when she saw an opportunity she just couldn't pass up. I was crouched down on the ground, trying to photograph her.

"HEAD!" was all I heard when she ran at me.

Next thing I know it's a tangle of toddler, large plastic weapon. my head, and obviously very dull defences.

I'm afraid I might have flashbacks. Oh yes, that's how traumatic it was.

Though also apparently incredibly humorous to a toddler.

After a few more head-bashings, lame deflections, and no success with distraction tactics, the bat was taken away by me and placed behind a closed door.

Whining ensued.

Soon it melted down to crying.

Bat. B-b-b-b-a-a-a-t-t (said with extremely sad voice). B-b-b-a-t.

SB suggested he could try to show her how to play with the bat in a more civilized way.

I wished him luck, double checked our insurance policy and decided to finish the laundry.

While collecting stuff together to go the laundry room, Bumper came trooping down the hallway with the (very oversized and scary looking) bat and happiness in her step.

She came to a full stop in the living room and held out her bat.

SB suggested she find a ball so they could play with the bat.

Instead of searching for a ball, Bumper turned to me, put the bat up with her arms out straight and yelled "HEAD!" - all while headed my way.

That bat is going to get "lost" tonight, right to the back of the closet.

I blame two things: too many Sopranos marathons while pregnant and SB. She obviously inherited his amazing baseball skills because she never missed when attacking me today.

I have lumps to prove it.


I'm putting together a page for the tattoo post which I hope to have it up by the end of this week. There are some great stories out there so keep on telling, and commenting. Thank you.

Oh and I'm still talking about the my Swedish fetish, IKEA, over at eco-trippin'.

And last but not least (drumroll please...):

The results of the vote are in - go read all about it over at Blog Hers ACT Canada - head on over and read the action plan. Go on now, GO!

go on now - or I'll bat ya'


kgirl said...

I tend to think that daddy's get what they deserve ;)

I absolutely love the first picture - that look is priceless.

metro mama said...

OMG, she looks so old in the second pic!

Kyla said...

I think that we'd "lose" the bat, too. But how cute is she while charging?!

Speaking of lost toys, for Christmas one year my dad got my a little potato gun, which I shot at my sister all day. The next day I couldn't find it anywhere...I looked for it for YEARS. A few years ago my mom said, "Oh, I took it away from you and hid it while you were asleep. I told your dad not to buy it for you in the first place." I guess we've all "lost" toys at some point. *lol*

NotSoSage said...

Having spent yesterday evening tearing through IKEA only to find that half of our intended purchases were sold out, I would gladly have taken a few lumps from that big, plastic bat, if it made me forget it all...

mamatulip said...

She looks so proud of herself and her bat-swinging abilities in that first picture.

mothergoosemouse said...

I've never met her, but I can hear her - both shrieking "HEAD!" and whimpering "b-b-b-b-bat..."

kittenpie said...

Getting hit may just serve you right, you silly thing, taking pictures instead of ducking or disarming her!

Our big rule is that anything used for hitting goes into timeout. Oh, you don't like that, kid? YOU chose to hit with it. Deal. (I know, I'm suuuuch a hardass, right?)

Christina said...

That bat would disappear fast in our house.

We "lost" Cordy's tricycle when she kept running it over our toes.

crazymumma said...

she is totally out to get ya!

JaniceNW said...

I am so laughing my ass off! I have boys and long ago when they were toddlers.......yup. Been there. Lots of "lost toys" showed up, miraculously, the last time we moved. Be glad it was a plastic bat. I've been watchign baseball games with my kids' playing for over 13 years now....