Tuesday, October 13

Battle of the... oh just plain Battle, m'kay?

This past Thanksgiving weekend made me thankful for good brakes, baby wipes, and reality television.

First up: good brakes and baby wipes. I saw more vomit this weekend than anyone should have to in a seventy-two hour period. Unfortunately, most of it was from me.

Saturday we went to a big shingding and just as we sat for dinner, the sudden realization that I was going to lose it all over Great Aunt Siobian and the centre piece came to a head.

Thankfully it didn't really come to my head but oh my holy, as soon as I made my way to the ladies I was throwing up like a frat boy during his first kegger.

After cleaning myself up with some baby wipes, I proceeded to grab my well lubricated husband and make a beeline for the parking lot where I added to the composting of the beautiful gardens with my insides. FUN TIMES.

Hey, did you know when wearing a "foundation garment" that puking hurts? You do now. I was begging my husband to cut me out of my clothing while driving -- which in normal circumstances sounds sexy but when I'm hurling and hurtling down the highway, not so much.

Anyhow, I recovered just in time for turkey and then proceeded to put my feet up with my mom-in-law and sister in-law to watch some reality television: Battle of the Blades.

Oh you wonderful Americans, deprived of great Canadian reality television programming. Where else can you find former NHL players paired up with the ladies of figuring skating to have their butts kicked in uncomfortably tight pants? Only in Canada eh? Pity:

You know, I just realized that Canadian reality television seems to focus on putting men off kilter. Maybe we are on to something. First there was that "The Week The Women Went" when all the women of a small town take off and leave the men to struggle on their own, now they are f**king up the NHL players with toe picks. Hmmmm... I think this will require further examination.

Anyhow, yes that was my weekend. For the record, I wasn't the only one to puke. My daughter decided that getting car sick while stuck in bumper to bumper traffic would make her just like mom. That's my girl.

So my Thanksgiving was a battle of the barf, bulge, and blades. I really need to find better post topics. Or stop barfing. And bulging. Or both. Or all of the above.

Yup: all of the above.


duchessbelle said...

yuck. am sorry you guys were/are sick. on the other hand - that show looks freaking amazing. wow.

Heather said...

that looks like a crazy show and now I want to watch it. Must check if there is cbc online. Gah!

Hope you are finally feeling better.

Heather said...

Sounds like someone in Canadian television has seen The Cutting Edge a few too many times.

motherbumper said...

@duchessbelle - feeling much better thank you and yup: just wow.

@Heather D - I am totally looking for links for you. It is well worth a peek.

@Heather Cool Zebras - OH. MAH. GAWD - I think you are totally and completely right. I had forgotten that gem of a movie existed right up until now. Thank you for that wonderful nugget of filmtastic gold.

Mac and Cheese said...

Prior to having kids, I think i went 10 years without puking. I've now had about four non-pregnancy related pukes in the past three years. It's like having kids opens up a flood gate. Hope you didn't get put off any foods that you particularly like.

Casey said...

I saw a commercial for that show awhile ago but I forgot to watch! The reality shows here must be thought up by women I think :)

mamatulip said...

Well, happy fucking thanksgiving to you. The worst part of all of this is that you're watching a skating reality show. New low, Katie. New low.

Ali said...

OH NO!!!

you always have puking stories...you and your foam barf in front of husbands...haha.

I'm so so so sorry you were so sick.

Tarable said...

I am oddly fascinated with Battle of the Blades. Can't look away, like a car accident.

Kyla said...

It is like a reality version of The Cutting Edge! Kind of awesome sounding.

I haaaaate puking. I think I'd rather be just about any other kind of sick.

Anonymous said...

And also, I'm so sorry you were sick! Made for a funny story, though.