For the past three hours, I've been wearing my high heels that I recently purchased. The reason I have been wearing them to do the dishes, play tea party, and do the laundry is due to a life-lesson learned back in days of yore.
Once many moons ago I procured the most excellent of fancy shoes - stacked suede clogs embroidered with dragons and flowers -- and loved them like no other (well, at least since the most awesome of cowboy-boot shoes that I ever owned -- deep red with black flames -- remember those cowboy boot shoes? Oh the ninties were strange indeedy). Well those dragon clogs had only been worn in the store and privacy of my own apartment for all of two minutes, before I jumped in a cab to a fancy-schmancy party on-board one of the Tall Ships.
Upon arriving at the dock, I made it up the gang-plank only to discover something horrible - FOOT SWEAT. My feet were sweating like little raging bulls and I COULD NOT WALK in these shoes. If I tried to move, the sweat from my feet felt like I was trying to navigate on ball-bearings and I'd fall backwards. These shoes didn't allow my feet to breath (serial killer clogs methinks) and the sweat was beyond belief. So I only wore them when standing still slipping them off and leaving them on the floor next to my friends while tip-toeing over to the bar/buffet, while praying no one noticed my huge social faux-pas of being bare-foot while on-board a dignified ship full of dignified people. What did I think this was? A hedonism cruise?
Of course we were taken on a tour of the ship and some smarmy sailor had already taken a liking to me (I think it was because I was least mobile - due to feet - and it was like the weakest of the herd kind of love) and trying to maintain protocol while not being rude, I hobbled around best on my geisha-killer shoes with that seaman dude trying out his weak English on me. For the record, I hate the ladder steps in all ships - so undignified. Gotta say tho', the disco on-board this ship was impressive. Also made me suspicious since there was no women stationed on board. Must get lonely at sea, eh Billy?
Anyhow, ever since that miserable experience all new shoes are road tested before the actual racing event. So today, I do laundry, dishes, and dusting while wearing these:
So far so good but if you see me hobbling around at BlogHer, take pity and DON'T HIT ON ME. Bring me slippers and alcohol and I will love you forever (right down to taking a ladder and sneaking into your home in the middle of the night to sing while skulking around your bedside - NOW THAT'S LOVE).