Monday, January 5

nip and tug

Last week on my blog roll call post, catnip inspired me to do what I hope is a great idea for my new blogroll.  Instead of a sidebar blogroll, I'm making the blog roll a post (as opposed to a page - because Blogger is too uncoordinated to include pages in the template - cheap bastards - and when I say cheap bastards I'm referring to myself in the plural because I'm too damn cheap to pay for a premium platform, so a blog roll post it is... and whoops, that would be the first tangent of 2009 folks, I'll get us back on track).

So yes, I will create a blogroll post AND update it on a regular basis so that the technorati love keeps giving and giving and giving and giving and we all get the recognition we deserve in the blogosphere.  And then we will all get free chocolate and autographed pictures of David Hasselhoff because I understand that's what happens when your ranking goes up.

Oh and when I say catnip, I mean the blogger catnip, not the weed my cats roll and smoka man, because if I'm going to do drugs, it's not going to be something as cheap as catnip - take my word on that.  Cats are notorious for selecting cheap & weak drugs to abuse but being control freaks AND cheap, they like to only ACT stoned, not actually BE stoned.  Cats are a strange and thrifty species.  But that's a post topic to tackle another day.

Today, I'm going to tackle the term "mommy blogger".  Do you like that term and do you apply it to your posty self?  Personally the term makes me squirm and my gut-reaction is to say "no, I don't like it".  But why do I dislike the term?  I'm a mommy (well... technically, I'm a momma because I'm raising a young Tennessee Williams) and I'm a blogger, so logically, I should be a mommy blogger and proud to wear the moniker.

But I'm not exactly comfortable with it and I'm not exactly sure why.  For the record, I also hate the term cougar which was a term my friends wore with some kind of warped pride back when we were all single and thirty-somethings and once again, it made me squirm.  It's not that I don't like cougars, it just seems so confining to define yourself by one small aspect of your life.  Unless of course you are a professional cougar who lives, eats, and breathes young men and crave their life blood.  For that, I can get calling yourself a cougar.

I think most of my uncomfortable feelings stem from resistance to being pigeon-holed.  Wow, saying "being pigeon-holed" sounds vague nasty and something that would cost a lot to have done extra *wink wink nudge nudge*.  Also possibly something PETA would get on your case about.  ANYHOW I'm more than a mommy and I write about things that are not mommy, yet I'm pretty damn sure I fall into the category of mommy blogger.  And there is nothing "wrong" with that (implying there is a "right" which I don't want to do so that's why I'm abusing the quotes).

Let's see:  I have cute (imo) pictures of my kid on my blog and I talk about how she outsmarts me on a fairly regular basis, but I still consider the mommy part as only one aspect of my blog, not my defining standard.  I have always thought I blogged about life in general and the fact that I am also a parent plays a part mostly because I work from home.

Plus I cannot forget how much I write about my insanity - perhaps I even write more about my insanity than getting outsmarted by a preschooler.  So maybe I should be a unstable blogger - now there is a label I can wear with pride.

But to be fair, I only started blogging because I became a parent so again I revisit the mommy label.  Would I feel better if I was called a parent blogger?  Possibly.  Mommy does scream I have a v*gina and I don't like to be defined by my sex.  Le Sigh.  Why can't I just be a life blogger?

So how do you feel about the term mommy blogger?  Meh?  Love it? Embrace it? Hate it?  Discuss.  I'll sit back and read the comments while eating my cheetos and gossip trolling for Binkywood.  Though if I don't get any comments, I'll assume no one cares.  It's probably been discussed to death elsewhere at another time and I'm just late to the party that I didn't even realize had been thrown.

In other news: have you read the roast of Tanis, The Redneck Mommy?  You may have heard of her before... on CNN or in mug shots on the wall of your local post office.  Her online roast started today over at Cynical Dad and trust me, that lady had it coming - this is what she gets for having such an amazing rack and using her powers for both good and evil.  So go read Part I, though in my opinion, Part III will be the best because that's where my contribution will be found*.  Don't worry, I'll linky love it when it's posted.  So what better way to spend a Monday than roasting another blogger, especially one as je-ne-sais-quoi as Tanis.  Now go on and get BUT after you tell me if your thoughts the term mommyblogger.

* totally kidding - totally totally kidding, the other roasters rule


Redneck Mommy said...

I am fairly je ne sais quoi about the whole label.

But then I call myself a Redneck so pretty much whatever you call me rolls off my back.

Would I prefer a different term? Absolutely. But I suppose I pigeon-holed myself when I named my blog.

Next time, I'll do it differently.

Immoral Matriarch said...

I pigeon-holed myself too I think. Immoral Matriarch...people don't seem to believe me when I tell them that it has very little to do with being a mother. It's a play on my name, Maria Del Rosario, which translates to Mary of The Rosary in Spanish. So I was totally named after the Big Virgin. And I'm soooo not that. *lol* Maybe people'd buy it if I didn't have kids. Meh.

I don't mind being called a mommy blogger. It's where my circle is, it's where I fit. But I'm a life blogger. I don't even blog about my children very much, so I don't see how it's applicable really. But it is. I need to start blogging more about my kids.

motherbumper said...

Which brings up a good point Tanis - I am MOTHERbumper after all. For anyone wondering about my name: I selected it because it sounds like a swear word.

habanerogal said...

which brings me to your first point how are you going to be accepting names for your blogroll post would you prefer email or comment just wonderin

motherbumper said...

Hey habanerogal, comment with a link to the blog is all I need. Thanks :)

scarbie doll said...

Yeah, it makes me feel ick too. It's like it trivializes what we do and makes it child's play or something.

I don't know why, but I'm more comfortable with Mom Blogger than Mommy Blogger.

I can only deal with three people in the world referring to me as Mommy: my kids and Justin Timberlake.

Heather said...

I guess I don't really care what I'm called, unless it's something really vulgar.

I put my blog roll in a post but I haven't updated it in almost a year. Whoops. I should probably do that.

Mandy said...

LOL... existential angst on the blogosphere?

I'd read you even if you decided to put yourself in the Truckers of North America blog stream.


catnip said...

Dude. You are too freaking funny.

A post blogroll is a great idea and I'm happy be your inspiration. Now I wonder if my page blogroll is giving technorati love? Hope so!

I consider myself a life blogger but it doesn't matter that much what others call me. I know I'm not *just* a mommy even if I'm pigeonholed. Although, I did pick an alias without any derivative of 'mommy' in it on purpose. ;)

iMommy said...

I sort of pigeon-holed myself with the name, too... and sometimes that's OK, because I do write about my kids, but when I am not writing about them, I feel a bit as if I'm not supposed to be... like it isn't going to fly with my readers because we are "mommy bloggers" and "technology bloggers" or "i had a shitty day today bloggers"... anyone else feel that way?

Fairly Odd Mother said...

I dislike the term Mommy Blogger, maybe b/c I dislike anyone calling me a "mommy" other than my kids.

Mother-Blogger, Parent-Blogger, Mama-Blogger. . .eh, none of those work for me either.

(and, just an aside, but I wish something, ANYTHING made me act like my cat does when I give her catnip---seriously, how great must that stuff be????---I don't even react to chocolate mousse like that===thank goodness, now that I think of it)

Mary G said...

I worry about saying I'm a mommy blogger because I'm also a grama blogger, a writer blogger, etc. etc.
But the group that I enjoy reading and staying in tune with has been identified as 'mommy bloggers' for quite a while. I like 'life blogger' a lot better, but it is almost too wide a field.
And I would love to be on your blogroll post.

Michelle said...

I have several problems with the category of "Mommy Blogger". First of all, I agree with the people above. I don't like other people calling me "Mommy". It's condescending. I am a blogger and I may write about parenting, or my life, and that is fine, but I wouldn't like being called a "woman blogger" either.
I'm just a blogger. There are parents of BOTH sexes writing excellent blogs about their lives as parents and beyond, surely they, we, have earned more than the descriptor of "Mommy".

Jana said...

Well, I don't even like the word "blog." I always assumed that the term "mommyblogger" was coined by someone who *meant* for it to be condescending, so I've never like it, either.

SciFi Dad said...

When I did the reboot (and came back as "Tales From The Dad Side") I did it with the intentions of being strictly a Daddy blogger. I can't explain why, but I felt that exclusivity was important. Since then, however, my blog has evolved, much like yours has, and is more of what I would call a personal blog: one person's thoughts, stories, and ideas.

Mouse said...

Embarrassed admission: One folder in my Google Reader is "Mommy Blogs." Not because I particularly like the term, but because it's such a part of the consciousness now. I think I'll change it to "Personal Blogs" or "Life Blogs" tonight.

P.S. I'd like to be on the blogroll. I'm updating regularly and everything now.

Chag said...

I don't even like the word blog.

fidget said...

i like Mama better then mommy, mommy is so.damn.whiny. Other then that i've made my peace with being pigeon holed (that sounds really really dirty, like some kind of urban dictionary act you'd expect to find at one of those Tijuana donkey shows)

for a different kind of girl said...

Well...I have the word 'girl' in my blog name and I'm pretty far removed from the age when 'girl' is applicable. Especially in light of the fact that 'hot, hot babe' is probably more appropriate. Yep.

So anyway, in my post today, I reference my kids as well as a bit about how I want to cougar on some legal-aged male celebrities. I also tossed in the word 'penis' a couple times. I guess I'm a mommy blogger, but based on the above, I rather think I'm a 'Here's some words I just wrote. Hope you enjoy!' blogger. I guess it doesn't offend me, but it's not really been how I jumped off and started blogging...or I guess I should say writing. Is it OK to say we're writers? Maybe just writers?

petite gourmand said...

I'm okay with Momma blogger,
seeing as I too am raising a junior Tennessee Williams.

kittenpie said...

I think I'm pretty much exactly where you are - I like to think there's more to me than that, that I write about other stuff, too (though not right now, since I'm up to my eyebrows in dirty diapers and have no room in my brain for other stuff at the moment), so I generally don't like the term, though I am also both a mom and a blogger. Perhaps it's kind of like the difference between "coloured people" and "people of colour" - where you want the important part to take the emphasis and go first. As far as the internet is concerned, we're bloggers who are moms, and it's the bloggin that defines our presence. If we were moms with the blogging secondary, we wouldn't be a force in the blogosphere, right?

Anissa Mayhew said...

i'm ok with MommyBlogger I suppose. I sincerely consider changing my blog name/url because I think it scares people away who think it'll be nonstop depressing. But I don't ever plan to be a political blogger or a sports blogger, so mommyblogger works for me.

Twenty Four At Heart said...

I don't consider myself a mommy blogger because I rarely mention my kids on my blog. They're teens. Teens want privacy and they'd DIE if I was blogging about them. BUT - I don't think there's anything wrong w/the term mommy blogger for moms who are primarily blogging about their kids and motherhood.

Didn't that sound like a very intelligent and PC comment? Ha!

Samurai Beetle said...

I started my blog in 2006 as a way to review my trips to Asia. They were becoming frequent and the experiences were unique. I wrote 6 posts in '06, 30 in '07 and 101 in '08 which is the year of Charlotte. I guess I have alot more to say now that I'm a mom and I get alot more feedback from readers. Perhaps it's easier to find common ground as a mom. It has been easier to find common ground with people throughout my life. Being a mom makes it easier to talk to strangers and in laws, it's also a convenient excuse to leave a crowded situation.

I haven't been reading your blog for long but it didn't strike me as a mommy blog from the start. However the title motherbumper does give way to some sort of mothering going on.

Angella said...

I missed the link love post. My bad.

As for the term "Mommy Blogger"...I have mixed feelings.

I am a Mom, and I blog. So I fit. But I also take photos, and write about me, myself, and I, and what not.

I am torn.

Anonymous said...

I hate mommy blogger.

I don't really know why, but I hate it a lot.

I'm a mom and I blog. But I'm also an engineer. Am I a mommy engineer?

Or a women engineer (you get that a lot because there aren't many chicks in the engineering world).

I guess what it comes down to is I am a mom who likes to talk about stuff other than my kid. I want to talk about my kid sometimes, but I also want to be free to write about an interesting article, or book or any other random thought that pops into my head.

Love the post btw.

Kyla said...

Mommy blogger sounds dismissive, which is why I don't care for it. Do I talk about my kids? Yes. Am I a mommy? Yup. Does it make me less valuable or authentic? Nope.

It seems like when you say, "I'm a mommy blogger." People think, "Oh, another one of THOSE." But if you were to say, "I'm a food blogger." That would be accepted as more legitimate. I dunno.

Ali said...

mommy blogger totally doesn't fit with me. yes, i am a mom. and a blogger. but my site, at least to me, is so much more than me being a mom to my kids. it's mostly about me making a total jackass of myself. :)

Assertagirl said...

What I don't like about the term "mommyblogger" is that it is exclusionary at times. Most of the bloggers I associate with, in real life and online are moms, so it is a common assumption that I am also a mom, which I am not. It makes me feel left out, sometimes. Maybe that's silly, I don't know.

Laura said...

unstable blogger? oh , dont even TRY to steal my title.

TwoBusy said...

It's always been my take that "mommyblog" was a kind of condescending way to slap a label (however ill-fitting) on a group of writers and their work, created by people who didn't have enough respect, consideration or insight to create anything more than a stereotype.

Are there moms who write, and do it extremely well? Of course. Do they choose to do it in an online format, and tailor their writing to that format? Clearly. But to try to define you or anyone else with a term as specious as "mommyblogger" and leave it at that is just disrespectful and lazy.

So there.

Don Mills Diva said...

I started out hating the mommy blogger label but now I'm trying to embrace it like gays did with queer, so I try to be all "Ya, I'm a mommy blogger, what of it!?"

Anyway - is it too late to get in on the linky love?

Don Mills Diva said...

If not it's:

Amanda said...

People are going to call us whatever they want to. I remember living in Spain they always called me "Grandote" which I found incredibly offensive, I'm tall, not fucking national park enormous, kind of like, "fatty," but what are you going to do?

I write. I'm a mom. Perhaps I should just be glad they're talking.

Christina said...

Eh, I don't care one way or the other about the term mommyblogger. I mean, anyone can take a word and make it positive or negative. If I'm called a mommyblogger, then I'll try to make it a positive label.

As for my blog name, well, I do occasionally regret that choice, if only because it probably does drive some people away. But I had no idea I'd still be doing this when I started. Maybe someday I'll change my blog name.

Haley-O said...

I'm neutral about the term mommy blogger. Even though I am one and embrace it when I feel like it, like when I post gratuitous pictures of my cats (which is, like, most days).... ;)

mothergoosemouse said...

What you said about motherbumper? That's why I like mothergoosemouse. Say it like mother-effer, and it takes on a whole new je ne sais quoi.

Ah oui, j'aime parler francais. Vraiment.

Mac and Cheese said...

I call myself a mommy blogger, but I tend to do it with a hint of embarassment. Thanks for pointing this out to me!

Linky love too?

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

I prefer "Bat shit Crazy Blogger". Now that's a label I can get behind.

I will accept the term "Mommyblogger" because technically that's what I am. But I won't like it and you can make me.

Kristine said...

First, where the hell have I been that this is the first time I found your blog? Living under a rock apparently.

Second, I guess I threw myself right in to the mommy blog label with my blog name, but I think I covered the insanity with it as well. Oh, and don't forget the alcohol.

I guess it really doesn't bother me that much being called a mommy blogger, although I would highly prefer being called a HOT mommy blogger. I tend to write most about my kids, or lately my asshole parents. There is lots about how I got my kids, and about my special needs son. Occasionally there is some other stuff, but I'm just an ok writer, so I never really expect people to be reading me because I'm all teh awesome. So I write what I want, vent a hell of a lot, and use it for therapy when I can.

Regarding the cougar title, I do rather aspire to that; however, I think being married and having babies kind of gets in the way. *sigh*

Whit said...

I've never been called a mommy blogger. I've been called a motherfucker on occasion and it didn't bother me.

Stimey said...

I don't care so much either way about the mommyblogger label. But just as "mommy" probably doesn't define any of us completely, "mommyblogger" cannot either. I don't think I would object to "mommyblogger" any more than I would object to "autism blogger" or "frequent curser." I'm all of the above.

I have my blogroll pre-dated as my first post, but it's so damn out of date that I don't link to it anymore. I need to do some work on that. You're kind of inspiring me. It just seems that there is so much potential for drama and hurt feelings in an updated blogroll. Blech.

CDB said...

I love this post. Not only because it netted us a 42+ comment discussion, but because I feel so torn about the term itself, and this helps me allow other opinions to influence my own. (Hum.)

Because, let's be honest.. doesn't this drive to the heart of what happens when we become Moms?

I found you from K's blog, where I'm finally checking our her roll. Love the blog. I'm a mom and a new blogger, but mommy blogger doesn't even come close.

Scott said...

I have to admit the photo of the catnip-smoking cat distracts me from the text which follows--that's hilarious!

No Mother Earth said...

"Mommy Blogger" sounds like an insult. Not sure why. I am a mom. I use Blogger. I do write mostly about parenting crap. So I guess the term does apply very much to me.

I do have a problem with the word "Mommy" though. I am "Mummy" to my kids, and later will be "Mum" - if I have anything to do with it. Never liked "Mommy" and hate when anyone uses it.