Saturday, November 15

hello barbie, let's go party

and so it begins...
This unrealistic role model hussy vixen harlot mass-marketed-hysteria maker classic toy has made her way into my daughter's heart and there is nothing I can do to stop her.  She has Gigi by the sub cockles of her heart, and there is no letting go.


I know, I know, the problem is all mine. She's just a doll and we didn't need to let her in the house.  Hell, most of the population doesn't have a beef with her like I do (right? or do you all dread her too?)  I dunno, I'm just a little shocked that her fascination started this early.

On a related note but without the benefit of a segue: Barbie seems to have had a breast reduction but made up for it by having a butt lift.  Hey ladies, what another word for pirate treasure? That's right folks, this girl has booty.  Sadly, the anatomically clean nether regions have been replaced with disturbing unremovable flesh-tone fishnet panties.

I told you she was a hussy.  Where did she get the money for the body work?  She never does anything but lounge around in her PJs and listen to her iPod and watch TV all day (yes, she came with an iPod AND big screen tv).  Plus who wears fishnet panties? Hussies - that's who.  Sure, I can't remove them but I bet she can!

I need to get out more *smacks self in head*

17 comments:

Emily said...

ME! I dread Barbie. Ruby is 3, and I've been successful so far. How old is your daughter? Ugh. Its going to be a birthday gift someday from some friend or grandparent. Can't wait!

Heather said...

My daughter has a bunch of Barbies (some mine from when I was a kid) but she doesn't play with them all that much. She wants someone to play with her. Too bad her sister is so much younger than her.

I really have no issues with Barbie I guess. Just a doll to me.

mothergoosemouse said...

Eh, ignore her. She'll go away.

Corina the Down to Earth Mama said...

My daughter has three. A pair of ballerina barbies (which can bend in all sorts of ungodly ways). They came as a pair. And then she has photographer Barbie. Yeah. Unrealistic. It does bother me. But the Bratz are so much worse..... and there is NO WAY IN HELL I am letting that mess into my house! She barely plays with the ones she has anyway. Plays more with the small international dolls she has than her Barbies.

No Mother Earth said...

Life in plastic, it's fantastic..

Not a big fan of Barbies myself, never was. Since I live in Boydom, I'm hoping I never have to deal with her. (Barbies are better than Bratz though)

And thanks - it took me several years to finally get that song out of my head, and now I'm going to be singing it all day.

Amanda said...

So I got an invitation from Barbie in the mail yesterday...who signed me up? Anyway, she was inviting me to a "signing" at WalMart. The event was on November 8th– is Barbie effing w/me like the mean girls in fifth grade?

kittenpie said...

Pumpkinpie has just discovered Barbies and wants one for christmas. I'll leave it to the relatives, as I already have her gifts. I held her off for a few years with Groovy Girls, but Barbies don't bother me like Bratz do, as long as they are not the My Scene Barbies, which are ho-riffic.

hoppytoddle said...

I have banned the Disney Channel & regular Nick because of the relentless bombardment on MiniMe's brain of Barbie, plastic arts n' crafts, the People's Republic of China. She's now asking me if things are plastic; is this bad for our planet, Mom? Why doesn't everyone care about the planet, Mom? Oh, the guilt. I got REALLY mad about the new Barbie's Christmas Carol movie. I'll be damned if she learns Dickens from Barbie!

I know it's inevitable, & I don't plan on banning her outright. I just think 3 is too early.

She's getting my rehabbed dollhouse for Christmas & new furnishings for it. I'm hoping this helps compensate.

ourlittlefunnybunny said...

Ha...Sam has 2 of the mini Barbies and while she was having a bath the other day I noticed the fishnet panties...wow.

Mimi said...

We were watching the Santa Claus parade on TV this afternoon, and she saw her first Barbie movie commercial. When it stopped, she turned to me and said, awed, "Baaarrrrrr-beeeee"

Uh-oh.

Kyla said...

KayTar won a Barbie while we were at the hospital. How do you argue with that?

(ps: I'm really starting to think our kids are cosmically connected...which coincidentally reminds me of that Barbie ad from TV. See? Barbie is melting my brain.)

Mandy said...

I used this song every year to kick off my media unit. Yes, I used to be a high school English teacher. Yes, I used to be cool enough to discuss the lyrics of the day with my students. Now? Now, I'm relegated to singing decade old lyrics in some sort of attempt to seem cool.

As for the barbie stuff... thank god I have boys who just want to growl like trucks. Seriously. Who needs that kind of plastic booty lying around? Reminding me of the pink barbie camper van I never got... and oh, what, you mean this post was about you and not me? seriously?

ok going now.

Ali said...

the only barbie i take issue with is the one that my mom bought for Emily who has PASTIES on her nipples. i swear to god. PASTIES.

savvymomdotca said...

I know how you feel: infiltrated. To ween my kids off her, I searched for toy store that sold more clothed, educational items called Mastermind Toys. And they had some fantastic things that both girls and boys could play with.

(They had very few dolls, but the ones they had were made of cloth and had grandma panties.)

Here's the review on it:http://www.sharesavvy.ca/cities/toronto/reviews/8

I found that explosing them to other toys to offset what the TV displays (explosed body parts of dolls), helps them to forget what they saw, for a while anyway.

Good luck!
Christina

Laura said...

I love Barbie. There. I said. I think she gets a bad rap. She IS a hard worker...she is a vet, a doctor, dancer, nurse, Princess...seriously well rounded. Plus, she is a home owner, which is something I fear I will never be.

for a different kind of girl said...

I still have all my Barbies. Sure, they're at my mom's, but seriously, if (when) no one's looking, I'd totally play with them still. Every trip to Target includes a stroll down Barbie lane. Can I come over and play?

I figure Barbie affords the work off then pensions of her numerous former jobs. I bet former astronauts get lots of bank.

Karen MEG said...

The only Barbie so far is on her backpack. I don't think I'll mind Barbie as much as I cannot stand Bratz. Those are staying far and away...