Saturday, November 8

gigli

May I be so bold to offer some parenting advice?

Yes... well for those who have continued to read, despite the high probability that I will be dispensing some a*svice, may I recommend that under no circumstances should you ever condone or allow your parent-in-crime to teach the three year old sponge child to scream"THIS IS NOT IN MY CONTRACT" as loud as possible when being forced to do something as horrific as getting dressed, having the teeth brushed, or god forbid, having the knots in her hair worked on.

No, this is not cool at all.

A three year old with contact, yes that's all I need.  Can you imagine the rider?

All I need is for her to demand I pluck all the orange m&ms out of the mix, that I must provide a totally white playroom with white orchids and lilies changed daily, with non-stop Treehouse, ice cream, dolls and ride-on cars plus an endless selection of princess costumes for her to try on.

This is the stuff that haunts me.

15 comments:

Tracey said...

Ah. Hmmm. Good point.

Another point from my own personal experience: don't teach your kids to fart on command. Just... don't.

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

They are little sponges aren't they. Bwahahahaha. Sorry, it is kind of funny. Well, it wouldn't be if it were my kid, but...

Don't worry you will pay them back someday. When you're the grandma you get to pay them back. Trust me. Have a great weekend. :)

Mr Lady said...

I needed something to do with my kids this weekend. It appears I've found it. Thanks! :)

Jezer said...

If Al knew that phrase he'd be using it all the time. Instead, it's mostly "Mamaaah! Chockit milk! Git it!"

Hmmm, now that I think of it, perhaps a more civilized way of expressing his highness would be refreshing.

Kyla said...

Maybe YOU need to get a better agent. ;)

Redneck Mommy said...

Laughing my ass off.

I think I love your man.

Send him my way. He thinks like I do.

Snicker.

Amelia Sprout said...

I would share this with my husband, (because I can't stop giggling) but I fear he would actually start trying to teach her to say it.

Heather said...

Dads teach their children such wonderful things sometimes.

SciFi Dad said...

Would it be wrong if I were to wake up my daughter now so I can teach her this?

Haley-O said...

I could TOTALLY see my 3-year-old saying that and loving it.... Good luck with that one! ;)

Corina - Down to Earth Mama said...

Funny..... but not.... The things these kids pick up. I don't even want to tell you all the crap that my kids have picked up.

Haunting.

Ali said...

sounds awfully familiar. i wonder if she's in cahoots with my daughter Emily....

Mac and Cheese said...

Probably not cool, but funny as hell to the people around you if it happens in public!

kittenpie said...

but it IS pretty damn funny.

kgirl said...

that is awesome. remind me to tell you about the 'whatever' comment i got the other day.