The whine, THE WHINE, the g*# d@*m endless whining ........ why oh why does everything - every solitary thing in life - have be requested or announced with a whine? Even requests for snacks drip in whine, followed by surly manners, tacked on as if I'm an evil Emily Post with a cattle prod that zaps her each at every turn. Truth be known, I only zap her every second turn.
This girl is going to owe me big time, I'm going
Seriously, do other cultures have this issue? Is there some tribe in the Australian Outback where some mom is currently ripping out her hair and screaming "I'm leaving you for the dingos RIGHT NOW". Why is something like whining innate? WHY WOULD NATURE PUNISH PARENTS LIKE THIS? How is whining required for survival?
I want to contact some Amungme parents or some of those Uncontacted Indians in Peru to ask "so does your kid whine so hard you want to suck on the blow darts instead of blowing?" I need to get a government grant to do some research.
Now usually I'd tell you some heart-warming, pee-your-pants-just-a-little-bit story about some recenting whining episode right about here in my post, but today I'm just going to scream "take your pick - any story from the past twenty-four hours will do - THE WHINE FLOWS FREELY IN CASA BUMP".
And just for effect, I'd burst into tears and while you were foraging for a tissue, I'd run away, leaving you to take care of my child.
See, if I was a sh*tty mom, I would have left without deeking you out.