Wednesday, April 16

oh gross

Anyone care to hazard a guess what the object on the left is? The one next to the clove?

Animal? Vegetable? or (fake) Mineral?


Yes - that's right, smart and gentle readers reader - it's a jewel.

Oh no, no, no.... I'm not that disgusting and depraved and desperate for blog material that I'd take a pictured of a crapped out bedazzler bead.

Nope, that photographed object came out from whence it entered. Her nose.

Bumper recently mastered nose blowing and yesterday after a request for a tissue, she presented me with one snot covered gemstone.

Almost five days after a small team of health professionals looked for this exact object with lights, long pointy things, saline solutions, sneeze therapy, and a surprisingly cooperative patient, it emerged.

And after almost five days of no complaints - save for one comment during our Saturday afternoon parental survival tactic movie indulgence, when she said out of the blue "I don't want bead in my tummy", it sprang forth.

She had none of the symptoms listed on her discharge notes under "come back if any of these things occur". Nada. Not a one.

GOOD GOLLY - WHERE THE HELL WAS IT? HER NOSE IS THE SIZE OF A BUTTON.

Alas, it seems the bead was in her nose the entire time unless she was pulling a really elaborate joke which - even I must admit - is beyond my particularly precocious daughters skill level.

Anyhow, the case of "The Mystery of the Bedazzled Sinus" is now closed. Encyclopedia Brown would be proud (well he would have been if I had done any actual mystery solving but whatever, case closed).

In other news, this kid can blow up over 200 balloons in one hour only using his nostrils. Never, EVER underestimate what your kid can do with his/her nose. EVER.

28 comments:

Amy U. said...

I think I can hear the collective sigh of the bloggers of the area...(and muffled laughter, as well...)

Assertagirl

Ali said...

that story must be published. would be a scholastic bestseller. ;)

Heather said...

Huh. Who knew there were such good hiding places in the nose?

daysgoby said...

*cue Rolling Stones*

'she blows a raaaaainnnnbbbbow'

SciFi Dad said...

That's great. I love the multi-perspective shots of the bead. (Although I, like you, cannot figure out where something that large could hide in a toddler's nose.)

(Complete aside: this morning on my way in, I saw a truck labeled "Badger Daylighting Services" and immediately thought of Bumper.)

Kyla said...

OMG! How insane. That Bumper, she's got skillz.

Backpacking Dad said...

1. Wow

2. Ew

3. Hooray!

4. Ew

Mayberry said...

oh mah gah. That girl has some serious powers.

So now what are you gonna do with the bedazzled boog? Sew it into a memorial handkerchief?

something blue said...

That is impressive. Maybe she was trying to pierce her nose from the inside. I believe that anything is possible!

mamatulip said...

BAHAHAHA!! I read about that kid blowing up balloons with his nose and IMMEDIATELY thought of Bumper.

That is disgusting. Seriously. But fabulous fodder. LOL!

crazymumma said...

Oh my gawd.

Mandy said...

Gross picture... but glad it's resolved!

And you referenced Encyclopedia Brown... I LOVED those books. Never figured them out thought. Don't know what that says about me!

:)

kittenpie said...

Um, WOW. And one more reason I'm happy that pumpkinpie mastered nose-blowing early, probably out of self-sefense against my trying to suck stuff out instead. but way to go, Bump Baby!

Sugarplum's Mom said...

My goodness... I remember reading a story once about a girl that shoved a band-aide up her nose for a week.. the bead I can understand, but a band-aide?

Mac and Cheese said...

Well I guess you've gotta keep that jewel for the scrapbook now. I'm glad it's out.

FabGirl said...

YAY! Was a bit worried that you'd fished it out of the toity to present to us, but am relieved it's left its nostrilly home.
Oh, and ew. Heee.

Redneck Mommy said...

Holy dina.

I thought the lego my kid residing up his nose was big.

You win.

Or rather, your kid does.

kgirl said...

oh. so. gross.
but glad that trip is over, and bump is a-ok.

Lisa b said...

Holy GROSSNESS. That is amazing.
Never underestimate the ability of your child to outwit modern medicine. I am just not buying this way they have of being surprised that a gemstone could still be up there. Which is why I am unpopular with doctors.

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Huzzah! The bead emerges!

She has a real future as a gem smuggler.

Stimey said...

So honestly, I've never looked that closely at a clove, and it's really kind of neat looking.

Maybe she was hiding the jewel in her brain.

nomotherearth said...

Thank goodness.

And...ew.

I heart Encyclopedia Brown, btw.

Mimi said...

It's like I'm laughing AND I'm grossed out all at once. I hardly know what to think, except, PHEW, you didn't photograph poop.

;-)

lildb said...

i L.O.V.E. encyclopedia brown.

let's make like a leaf and beat it!

ahhhhhh.

p.s. you totally missed me hitting on you in a comment at Jenny's blog, huh.

p.p.s. yes. i did, too.

David Syzdek said...

Clean it up, and it'll be as good as new.

Yep, there are lots of hiding places in there. Sinuses, turbinates, all sticky and dark.

Oh well, the jewel's terrible journey could have been far, far more worse. It could have come out of the other end.

FearandParentinginLasVegas said...

Oh dear God. That reminds me of the old Shel Silverstein poem...

Inside everybody’s nose
There lives a sharp-toothed snail.
So if you stick your finger in,
He may bite off your nail.
Stick it farther up inside,
And he may bite your ring off.
Stick it all the way, and he
May bite the whole darn thing off.

b*babbler said...

Holy fack... That's some mad skillz your daughter possesses.

scarbie doll said...

Let's not forget the pom incident in my house. I know about noses. Glad it's out!