Wednesday, April 23

In a boundry country

Bumper has really increased the usual testing of the boundaries lately. Like by about 1000%. Give or take 17%.

For instance in the food arena, offers of her favourite hummus result in her taking a mouth full of water and what possibly what might have been a covertly chewed crayon (still can't crack that wax habit) and spitting (!) it into the recently opened tub of chick pea delight.

This was followed by a slap shot of her plate onto the floor. Then a request for more falafel and hummus, the recently flooded and flying food.

Since I cannot deny this is my kid - basically because we are home alone and there is no one else to blame - I do what any average parent does, I burst into tears hold back the urge to yell and speak in an even voice, simply explaining that this behaviour is not acceptable then this is followed with pleas for the return of your other child, the one who smiles, says thank you mommy when served her meal, and eats without too much fuss then I ask her to help clean up and we move on. So far it's being met with mediocre success.

Success is considered achieved if I can get her to help clean up the mess in any part and failure would be something like... say, her throwing a full glass of liquid anything at me.

The most recent (yes, multiple incidents - it's like she's practicing to be a diva and I'm her lover scorned) was thrown while I was standing near my lifeline laptop (near accounts for 1/3 of our living space - our type of apartment dwelling falls under the real estate code descriptor of "cozy"). She wailed with laughter and scout's honour, I wasn't using the laptop at the time - we had just finished dancing to Basement Jaxx (for the 50 billionth time). All was calm and apparently the temptation to throw something at mom was too hard to resist.

This phase is exhausting. I'm apparently no fun right now but these statements are punctuated with "LOVE YOU MOMMY" or "hug me" or "you're so pretty mommy". And then good behaviour until the next outburst. It's like living with a lunatic.

And to think, that used to be my crown to wear.

you are the lunatic mommy
not me - not by a longshot

Six months to three and I shudder to think what that age might bring. Hold me.

Oh and in case you are trying to figure out why I have Big Country up there at the top - no real reason other than the namesake song is stuck in my head - go Scottish 80s rock!

26 comments:

metro mama said...

I am finding she's getting better as she gets closer to three. She hasn't chucked anything at me in a few weeks now!

SciFi Dad said...

The throwing thing is bad, but for me it's all about the half-chewed spit out on to the shirt... that turns my stomach, especially as she wags her tongue to get it all off.

Assertagirl said...

Love the pig-tails, or "piggies" as my mom and I called 'em.

Also, great visual there, scifi dad...

Mayberry said...

My son is a big-time thrower too. Especially fun in a moving vehicle.

Godspeed my friend.

Backpacking Dad said...

There's always a bright side.

At least it's not poo.

daysgoby said...

Ah, the piggies! The piggies are slaying me! And my, that is a FIERCE look, isn't it?

Have you thought about spraying her with a plant mister? 'Bad Bumper! Bad!'
Or maybe that just works with my cat....


I find it useful to review the photos and small clothing I have left from when R was a sweet, biddable child when things like this happen - it helps me remember that A) she's growing up and B) Oh, yeah, I LIKE this kid!
Okay, sometimes....

Heather said...

Yeah, two is bad sometimes. Uh, three has been worse with my kids. I'd say stock up on a good tequila.

Flutterby said...

I have news for you hon... she's not practicing to be a diva... she's practicing to be a teenager. Puberty brings on bi-polar. For girls anyway. Never had that much of a problem with my boys. My daughter, who is 15, screamed at me from her desk chair one day, (don't recall why... it just happens from time to time.) swiveled around in it while I turned to talk to her brother, she finished the *swivel* into a complete spin facing me again a second later and was laughing and joining the conversation my son and I were having. Our incredulous stares were met with "what?" Now every time she gets pissy and mouths off I tell her to go spin in her chair.

something blue said...

Now I'm singing "Where's your head at?" I think my two year olds head spun right around this morning. I might have to call in an exorcist to get rid of these tantrums.

It's good to know I'm not suffering alone.

Mandy said...

My son always makes sure to say, "I love you Mommy" after a particular outburst. My sarcastic, "Do you now?" goes right over his head.

mothergoosemouse said...

Ditto Metro re the throwing - CJ stopped pelting me with objects when she got to be three.

The spitting, however, continues. Even good stuff like chocolate. Talk about lunacy.

growingapair said...

Dude. DOOOD. The half-years are THE WORST.

Kyla said...

See, KayTar ups the game. If she doesn't want to eat something, she doesn't just throw it. She's throws it UP. Fuuuun.

Maybe the little Bumper is just hitting one of those developmental spurts. Seems to make them all extra feisty. JOY.

mamatulip said...

I'm going to have Big Country and that Jaxx song "Don't worry, don't panic!" stuck in my head all day now.

Sheesh. Thanks a lot.

(Oh, I feel your pain on the whole throwing thing. Oliver's a thrower.)

Her Bad Mother said...

Practicing to be a diva? She and WB are already there, my friend. ALREADY THERE.

VICTORIA said...

This behaviour is quite familiar to me at this time too. My leah has been so trying. She just moments ago slammed her tippy cup against the glass of D's gun cabinet in anger! OMG, I nearly lost it!

nomotherearth said...

Yeeeaaah...THANKS for getting Big Country in my head. Wanna know what I'll be doing at 4am when I can't get back to sleep? SINGING THAT SONG OVER AND OVER AGAIN. And then I'm going to call you. hee,hee!

What a beautiful girl you have.

kgirl said...

We are 4 weeks until three, and things have really calmed down. No more tantrums, she may once in a while help clean up and nothing has been chucked off the table/at my head/onto the cat in a while.

Still runs away and has to be told 8000 times before she'll do something, but I'll take it.

crazymumma said...

but has she brought you to your knees, forehead to the floor, weeping yet?

no?

soon come.

she needs to come to Crazymumma's Correctional Institution For Wayard Children.

Ali said...

sounds about right...we are 4 months from three and are at right about the same stage...diva-in-training. ;)

kittenpie said...

This stuff started a couple of months before three for us. Not this speciifc thing, but jsut generally being contrary and crazy. But it does come adn go in spurts, so it may help to know it should get better at some point - for a while, at least!

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

So THAT'S where all those long distance calls to Canada came from. It was Chicky calling Bumper and comparing notes on who can drive their mom insane first. Race ya!

sweetney said...

OH MY GOD, THE PONYTAILS. THE CUTENESS. AIEEEEE!!! (DIES)

Mom101 said...

Wait, you get her to say "pretty mommy?" You're totally doing something right. I mostly get "I love your bed, mommy."

(PS best song e-vah)

Lisa b said...

I'm closing in on four and maybe we could just hold each other.

Naomi (Urban Mummy) said...

Almost 3 and a half here. I've found 3 to be much more trying then 2. Unfortunately. It's the language thing, I think. Now, along with throwing the odd plate of food, I get editorial comments.

My little one, on the other hand? I'm totally his bitch. Seriously.