Thursday, October 11

Crush Me(me)


In elementary school, one of the few forms of self-expression was through locker posters.

The nuns didn't exercise any control over locker contents (unless it was offensive, illegal, or smelly... and most times smelly was ignored). We wore identical uniforms and pretty much had identical school supply kits so our juvenile crushes helped define us in an "under twelve" kind of way.

Teen Beat and Tiger Beat were bibles of sorts. We believed and gobbled up every article and every last photo. For those who had parents who forbade such rag publications, the ones who had forbidden materials also had awesome trading leverage for A-1 prize recess snacks. No carrot sticks for that kid, it was Jos. Louis all the way.

Most of my peers crushed on Shaun Cassidy, David Cassidy (oh those Cassidy bros were hot), and Donny Osmond. I did enjoy watching The Partridge Family, The Hardy Boys, and [OMG] The Donny & Marie Show (I'm a little bit country, I'm a little bit rock n'roll - great, now that's stuck in my head) - but none of those boys did it for me.

The definition of "did it" was very innocent. We were young, naive - gosh darn it - we were complete dweebs by today's standards. The Teen/Tiger Beat heart throbs were the men we were going to marry, have children with, though gosh diddley darn it, there was no knocking of the boots happening. Hello! We had no freakin' clue (or at least I didn't) what knocking boots was all about.

The physical side of things didn't play into these crushes - or at least that is how I remember it. Maybe kissing and making out played into it (probably) but other than that - no freakin' way! That was yucky grown up stuff. And regardless, it sounded messy*.
* proven to be true

So locker posters consisted of these crushes, most ripped from the magazines we poured over at recess and lunch time. I have many fine memories of rainy days stuck in the classroom, discussing who was the object of our affections.

Now that I'm all growed-up*, I find these crushes freakin' hilarious. I'm not sure what my criteria was back then but I do remember the passion (once again, we are talking about a ten-year old's passion - as in passionate about Ketchup chips). It was intense, it was focused, it was insatiable. The grand ol' Hollywood media machine had me by their hooks and I ate it all up.
* the jury is still out on this one

So that brings me to the meme:

Join me in revelling in our childhood crushes. Name your top childhood crush(es) - male or female.

Did Albert Einstein do it for you? Wow I wish I sat next to you in science class.
Luke Skywalker? You are definitely a friend of mine.
Cory Haim? That's one I never understood - please explain.


Here are mine:

Greg Evigan (BJ) from BJ and the Bear*: In my little girl eyes, BJ was the pinnacle of cool and oh my holy heck, he hung out with a monkey! A monkey!!! He drove a big rig and those two got into so many intense one-hour show format adventures. Yes, this show was enough to make me dream of becoming a trucker. A trucker with a monkey.
* Now that I'm an adult, I can only imagine the jokes that spun off of this show's name.

In case you are wondering - I may have secretly watched My Two Dads but if asked in public, it will be denied. And OMG - no teasing! I was something like eight and the monkey was totally a huge part of the crush factor.

Richard Hatch (Apollo) from Battlestar Galactica. Almost all of my friends had a hankerin' for Starbuck but I was all like "I totally *heart* Apollo, and like cross my heart and hope to like die, and like stick a needle in my like eye". He was serious, he was tough, he was seriously tough, and he could look like a wounded puppy dog at just the right moment. Yes sir, this was a head over heels crush to the nth degree.

I totally don't get the Starbuck thing, I mean seriously,
Apollo had the way cooler clothing:
the nehru jacket and oh my holy hell, that black belt totally rocks


I must say the Richard Hatch crush is no more. These days when someone says Richard Hatch I immediately think of Richard "Survivor winner, Tax Evader, formerly fat&naked guy" Hatch. That pretty much leaves me feeling kinda icky.

So concerning Richard Hatch the actor crush - I'm pretty sure it was Apollo that was the true object of my affection.

Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, and Han Solo. I wanted to be or hang out with all three of them.

Luke really appealed to me, in that whiny teenage angst boy kind of way. At the time the whole wounded lost teenager thing - well that seemed so cool and appealing. These days I find it more whiny.

Hans Solo was good-looking, a rebel and his didn't give a shit attitude is something I still love to this day.

Leia, a princess with a sharp tongue, brains, and beauty - um - totally great role model for an 8 year old me thinks.

So there you have it. The basic insides of my elementary school locker over my first decade. The stars of my barbie storylines, playground make-believe, and daydreams.

I'm gonna tag Something Baby Blue, and Mac & Cheese, and anyone who wants to play along (leave me a comment so I can drop by and laugh).

Come on now - spill!

19 comments:

Alley Cat said...

I think we could have been great friends back in the Teen Beat days, if for no other reason, we wouldn't have gone after each other's crushes. I'll run with your tag and get something up in the next day.

kgirl said...

niiiice. your locker sounds dreamy. mine was river phoenix, river phoenix, and more river phoenix.

something blue said...

Who can resist a man with a monkey? I loved all the preteen magazines! Of course I'll squeeze this out.

b*babbler said...

River Phonenix and (sadly) Kirk Cameron.

I was such a dweeb. Really.

Don Mills Diva said...

Most defnitely Andy Gibb. When he got all that hate mail for dating Victoria Principal I remember writing him a heartfelt letter about how I would never say anything bad about him because I was a TRUE fan, all the while secretly hoping he would be struck by my maturity and HAVE to meet me.

ewe are here said...

Aaah, yes. Hans Solo, rebel extraordinaire. He was my favorite from the Star Wars movies, hands down.

nomotherearth said...

Teen and Tiger Beat were the coolest! Couldn't get enough of those mags.

I think I had a shrine to Corey Hart. (When I say "think", I reallly mean that I did, but don't want to admit to it...)

ali said...

kirk cameron. mmmm...

bubandpie said...

All those seventies shows had the same set-up: the blond guy and the dark-haired guy, and it was universally acknowledged that all the girls would like the blond guy. (Hence the brief popularity of John Schneider.)

mothergoosemouse said...

Ricky Schroder and Simon LeBon.

I have a thing for blonds.

VICTORIA said...

I might just blog on this one too, hope you don't mind me playing along!

dana said...

I had such a crush on David Cassidy when I was young. I used to play my mom's vinyl record of The Partridge Family and pretend I was Susan.

The Van Goat Ranch said...

Hilarious! I admit it - Shaun Cassidy was one of my boyfriends for a while. Yikes!

Mrs. Chicky said...

I crushed hard on Andy Gibb and Rick Springfield. And even though one is dead and one had really bad plastic surgery I crush on them still.

Lisa b said...

Henry Thomas - the nerdy little brother in ET
Princess Leia was pretty kick ass though.

Tracey said...

I'm totally gonna do it too. I am in a post rut...

kittenpie said...

As someone who grew up without benefit of TV, I must say I don't even know what you are talking about with the first two.

But as I told Blue, it was all Simon Le Bon, all the time. Good thing we are all grown up so she and I don't have to fight over him.

Oh, The Joys said...

Tiger Beat is where I got my Leif Garrett posters!

Mrs. Imelda said...

STING!!! (And I will still Jump his bones) He is still the sexiest man alive (and it doesn't have anythink to do woth the tantric sex thing (well maybe just a little)

Simon Lebon from Duran Duran and Pierce Brosnan (Remmington Steele) were close seconds -were talking 1984 here!