Thursday, September 13

A good vice is hard to find


I'm so happy that Marilyn Manson has taken it upon himself to bring absinthe back into the US market.

I was just saying last week (while SB held my hair back after another night of drinking) how much I wish someone would produce absinthe for North America because there just isn't enough affordable vices to destroy more lives (though I must admit it was hard to understand what I was saying between heaves into the porcelain god).

Well I'm glad Mr. Manson has taken the initiative because I've been drinking pure wood grain alcohol to bring on my crazies but now I can just buy some of his hooch at the local still, I mean liquor store. Sweet!

No more paying Cousin Bobby-Joe exorbitant prices for my "make-me-blind" juice from the still behind his shack.

I bet Marilyn got involved with this venture because it's 66.6% alcohol. Who can resist the pull of Satan's numbers, not that little bundle of sunshine. Good luck on making it legal in the States dude.

OH - and damn it all the heck because it turns out I got hooked on chasing the dragon for the wrong reason.

If you have the same heroin dealers as me, it turns out that rapscallion has been ripping his customers off (WHA! a dishonest drug dealer?).

They have been selling catfish bait mixed with vinegar instead of street grade china white.

Damn it's hard to find a dependable and honest dealer these days.

What is the world coming to folks?

6 comments:

mothergoosemouse said...

How very punk rock. Mansinthe, heh.

But I can't help laughing about the catfish bait and vinegar.

kittenpie said...

Catfish bait? WTF? (I am so typing impaired today, it took three treis to type catfish. Gah!)

And you know, it's all fine for him to indulge his victorian/belle epoque/gothic obssession but does he have to take everyone else along for the ride? Can't he just do his thing? I always figure it's those who talk about it a lot who aren't so much with the doing, you know?

cerebralmum said...

Lol. I didn't realise that it was prohibited. In Australia we've had it for ages, albeit with strict regulation of wormwood quantities. We cannot, however, get Dr.Pepper. Go figure.

But if he ever succeeds in his oh-so-admirable goal, I'll send you the cocktail recipe for a Trans-Siberian Derailed. A couple of those will straighten your dealer out. :)

Lisa b said...

I'm not sure what to type.
My mouth is hanging open in shock.
Am I on that catfish bait or didn't martha stewart show absinthe glasses on her show?
It's a good thing motherbumper.
Now get your head out of the toilet.

Tracey said...

Heh. the report said it wasn't likely that anyone would report getting the fake heroin. Gee, YA THINK???

something blue said...

Anything that requires a sugar spoon sounds good to me. So you've been having wild parties in CasaBumper?! I suppose Brian and Evan came over?