Wednesday, August 29

queen of bats

Remember Leona Helmsley, the slap-happy hotelier? The "Queen of Mean" from the 80s? Jailed for tax evasion? Yes her. Sorry I couldn't bare to put up a photo of her mean scowl so I put this one up instead... isn't it a cute lil' Maltese puppy?

Well back to Leona, who passed away last week. GET THIS: she left a 12 million dollar trust fund to her Maltese dog, Trouble, and nothing to two of her grandkids for "reasons that are known to them".

Her other grandchildren get a nice chunk of change but only if they visit their grandparents grave annually.

Her chauffeur was left one hundred thousand dollars.

I'm always amazed at people who bitch from beyond the grave. Based on how I'm feeling today, I'd probably be tempted to act just like that if asked to write my will right now.

Bumper did nap yesterday BUT at the expense of going to bed super late and whoa, just because she can, she got up super duper early today!


Right now she is buzzing around the living room on whine power, making demands for play-clay, cookies, Dora, and juice.

She got the juice and play-clay. I get the tequila and valium.

Oh who am I foolin'? No one, because if my will was being written this morning, Bumper would still get it all. She's too cute to torture from beyond the grave.

Ask me later today if that is still true.

She has no bats but OMG SHE HAS A HOCKEY STICK AND GOLF CLUB! I'm totally screwed. And potentially bruised.

inheritance, schmeritance
can't do much with a Mighty Beans collection


kgirl said...

If leona helmsley's grandbabies looked like Bump, they would have gotten it all.

Kyla said...

Kgirl is right. Nobody could cut off a cutie like Bumper.

We were up until 1am. The we of that sentence being me and KayTar. So yes, I feel your pain. And she was a crank yesterday. *whistles* It was a sight to behold. Josh called at one point and she was going ballistic, because I had asked if she wanted food (I didn't even show her the food, just asked)...she was so hysterical, he thought she was having an episode. Kinda funny right? "No dear, she isn't in unbearable pain, I just offered her lunch is all."

NotSoSage said...

Geez, I want to duck.

SciFi Dad said...

Perhaps you could teach her an expression/exclamation to use when swinging? I'm thinking along the lines of "Fore!" (or maybe "Fire In The Hole!") That way, you've got a warning for when the impact is coming, assuming, of course, your reflexes aren't too dulled by the tequila and valium.

heh... guess blogger heard the forecast... the word verification is "rainuyk"

nomotherearth said...

Heck, I want to give her all my money. Too cute.

mommyof2galz said...

She is so cute! Love the mini hockey stick :)

Kyla said...

There is a tiny little giftie over at my place for you, dear.

crazymumma said...

Man she's so damn cute I sorta want to get sticked by her!

something blue said...

That is star athlete material. Stay on her good side because she'll be bringing in millions! I'm thinking of her cereal box income alone!