I think I just jumped the couch

I knew it was going to happen soon but the fact that I missed the date really drove home how busy I've been lately.

I've been so busy the past week that I haven't cranked out a decent post AND I missed my own freakin' first blog anniversary.

Yup, it was a year ago this week that I worked up the nerve to start my own blog. I'd been lurking around the 'sphere for a couple of months and decided if I was going to start commenting, I'd better have someplace established so that the other bloggers didn't think I was some kind of lurking weirdo who liked to leer at their children and touch myself while reading their breast-feeding stories*.

* not to mean that by creating a blog establishes I'm not a weirdo. I just establishes that I'm not that kind of weirdo.

When I looked back to check what my first post was about, I realized that some time ago I had trashed the first couple of posts. I don't have an issue with bloggers who like to purge once and a while - Helen taught me many things. But it made me happy to see that my almost first post was the first one to get a comment and lone behold, when I went to see who was the lucky numero uno commentor, it was HBM. How's that for cool, considering a short year later our daughters like to drop-kick each other IRL.

When I decided to create MB, I wanted this blog to be a recording of my observations on being a parent - a diary. But my original intention and purpose for creating Motherbumper, besides establishing that I'm not that kind of weirdo, has been lost in silent battle. This was supposed to be my diary, my personal and somewhat anonymous rambling of how motherhood has impacted me. Yes, me.

Sure I like to mention the kid and husband once and a while but I started this blog so my head wouldn't explode from the impact the meteor called motherhood took on my brain. How it impacted my entire being actually. I made a separate private blog for my family to enjoy and Motherbumper was created so I could talk without fear (realized or not realized) of repercussions. And, like most things, it didn't work out that way. I knew the 'sphere is a public place and if someone found me, they found me. Oh well.

But for the fellow-blogger people that found me, I made some of the most wonderful friendships and some in real life. For that, I am truly grateful. 'Nuff said.

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Now that that ramble is over, I've got to tell you what I've been doing and what has been keeping me from my own blog postings.

MommyBlogsToronto is in relaunch mode and I've been buried in templates, CSS, and Photoshop in preparation.

I actually love this kind of work but Bumper does not. She will only let me work during naptime and nighttime which has made me cranky. I was hoping SB would be able to distract her so I could get stuff done but she is a stubborn lady (wonder where she gets that from?) and if I'm at home, I must participate in all things Bumper.

Oh how I love her and how she loves to drive me insane. But enough about my frustrations at the hand of the world's most adorable and lovable tyrant. Go check out the new format, visit some of the interesting new-to-MBT bloggers. I'll be talking more about this over the weeks as we work out all the kinks - there is some great stuff up already so check it out.

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Hey remember I was being interviewed by Mama Tulip but I went insane and started rambling on tangents that even Matt Lauer wouldn't be able to control? Well she has been gracious enough to come back and ask some more. What a brave wonderful lady.

I will try to refrain from getting too verbal this time and I'll try to just answer the question. You know, I'd suck if I was ever arrested, I just wouldn't shut up. Be warned, in case you ever go partying and prankstering with me - do you hear that fellow BlogHer people?

Anyhow, moving right along...

Mama Tulip: When you were a kid and you thought about your future, is this what you thought you'd be doing?

Motherbumper: Nope. How's that for a short answer Mama T?

Mama Tulip: Well done MoBo, I'm surprized by your restraint.

(Motherbumper is sitting on her hands because that prevents her from talking for some reason... she is squirming... she is sputtering... she can't stay quiet... AIEEEEEE!!!)

Motherbumper: Oh sweet xenu, I can't leave it with just that!.... HELL NO, I never thought I'd be a mom much less a responsible human being. I wanted to be a mercenary, an independent unit, a free-spirit in every meaning of that annoying term!

I thought I would be all tough and stoic and would leave a trail of broken (and apparently bleeding) hearts where ever I tread. But then puberty hit, hormones beat my a*s, I discovered Teen Beat magazine, Duran Duran, ska music and my plans went to hell in a handbasket (hee).

I started getting wishy-washy, pimpled, dreamy and with that, lost focus for about... oh maybe... twenty-odd years. Fast forward to my 30's and I married SB and wanted to make babies. On occasion, I yearn for the freedom of youthful dreams but who doesn't think that way once and a while?

(Mama Tulip waits a moment, comes out from underneath the chair from where she hid when Motherbumper launched her surprize attack and smooths out her clothing).

Mama Tulip: (grumbling to self, whispers) I really need to fire my producer... where does he find these wackos?

Motherbumper: What was that?

Mama Tulip: Nothing. Let's move on. So tell us about one of your most embarrassing moments.

Motherbumper: That, Mama Tulip, is a story I could only tell in a basement setting, if you catch my drift. I should go and tell that one downstairs amongst the ladies, wood paneling, and Dunhill haze really soon. It's really just too much for daytime tv.

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And with that, I leave you hanging again, just like in the soaps. Will MB ever finish her interview questions? Will she ever post a non-meme again? Will she ever stop talking like some crazed voice-over announcer? Stay tuned to find out the answers to these questions and many more on the next episode of "As The Motherbumper Turns Insane".