me me time!

Oh wait. The title should read meme time but somehow I always think it's me time!

Anyhooo (shrugs and inwardly agrees that it was a pretty lame joke)

Yup, about six thousand years ago I got tagged by the super cool penelope (check her out - her top 100 list is crammed full of really cool stuff. Hmmm....I think I might be using the word cool too much but when the shoe fits...).

Anyway! I was absolutely thrilled because I was dreaming of getting tagged for this exact meme.

I thought "SWEET!".

Then the week turned into one of those out of control "trying to get my shit together before I go on vacation kinda week" mainly because it was the week before we are going on vacation. On top of that some other random shit was going on to further distract me. Gah! Maybe I'll say more on that but definitely at a later date. I think it should be blogged about, just not now. Now where was I?

OH. YEAH. Bumper hasn't been getting to sleep too much earlier in spite of the fact that I'm taking her to bed much earlier when she's showing her sleepy signs. So that is getting frustrating because her naps are going well but the bedtime is taking longer. I have been a wee bit grumpy and husband keeps reminding me: "Consistency is key. As long as we are consistently bad we should be fine" followed by a wink with a twinkle in his eye.

For saying that, he has now taken over "getting Bumper back to sleep" duty when I've had enough. Much to my surprize, he's really good at it. But I'm getting off track.

Long story short: here I am on the weekend (update: it's now Monday night) typing away because I've spent the past few days taking a few minutes at a time (between diaper changes, bathroom breaks etc) to find a book for each question. It's been so much fun. But seriously, enough about me.

On with the meme!

1. One book that changed your life:
This was harder to answer then I thought it was going to be. Changed my life is a pretty tall order but I think I will equate it with lasting impact. Less Than Zero (Bret Easton Ellis). This book spoke to me when I first read it at age 16. I had already had a really fucked up party life by this time and I partied with these "rich kid/trust fund/ no future except to inherit daddy's wealth" types and witnessed so many crash and burn victims that it still takes a lot to shock me. I ended up taking a break from the party crowd at that time (though I did slip right back in during University). I think that head clearing might have saved my life. I also have just got to say that I hated the movie adaptation of this book but what else is new; can anyone adapt books and get it right?

I will mention the book that jockeyed for title: Generation X (Douglas Coupland). It was a tough call for me.

2. One book that you've read more than once:
As a young teen I had an insatiable appetite for books both good and bad. Among the good, I reread Are you there God? It's me Margaret and Starring Sally J Freedmen as Herself (Judy Blume) countless times. I really longed to be a normal teen and I often got lost in my head. That is how I spent my days. Those books just fed my imagination.

As an adult, I've reread Story of my Life (Jay McInerney) too many times to try and count. The backstabbing and shattered family values are just so well done in this snapshot of the 80's.

3. One book you would want on a desert island:
GAH! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THAT???? ONE!?! Not possible so I'll have to say something stupid. Ummm... I'd take a Get Fuzzy anthology (wtf? Did I just type that? Omigod I'm certifiable).

But damn. That cat makes me laugh.

4. One book that made you laugh:
The Adrian Mole series by Sue Townsend. Since I have to pick one I will select The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13¾. I can't even start to explain how freakin' funny this first book in the series is: totally in diary format, it is the observations of this kinda clueless and pretenious teen who gets himself in the greatest situations and his supporting characters made up of family and friends kick butt.

5. One book that made you cry:
I know that books have made me cry but I could not find one (NOT ONE!) on any of my shelves. I guess I toss any book out the window that makes me cry. Hmmm.... I'm racking my brains and the only one I can come up with is Charlotte's Web. I'm sure I'll think of a more adult (get your mind out of the gutter - the shame!) title once I publish this so I reserve the right to update this at a later date.

UPDATE: Of course once I hit publish it dawned on me: Life with Billy about Jane Hurshman and how she survived horrific abuse by her husband, witnessed the abuse of her children and also her subsequent trial for his murder. I cried a lot reading this book and it will stay with me forever.

6. One book that you wish had been written:
The Owner's manual for my child. Seriously folks. If you could get the manual, you just know you would be a much more well rested and less stressed person.

7. One book that you wish had never been written:
The Left Behind series. Ack. Leaves a bad taste in my mouth when I think of how many people think this is the way it's all going to end. I'm going to keep it brief but IMHO I don't think God would sort out the souls in that manner. 'Nuff said. The God I was raised to know is forgiving and loving and looks like Jerry Garcia. And anyone who has a Ben & Jerry's ice cream named after them has to be good and forgiving. And since he looks like God, then God must be good and forgiving. Confused? Don't be. Now stay with me folks!

8. The book that you are currently reading:
I never read one book at a time. That would be the intelligent thing to do and that is not how my agenda works. So here is the current list of semi-read books:

1. The Company You Keep - Neil Gordon (so far it's held my interest but I'm not 100% in a fiction state of mind so I probably shouldn't be reading it right now)
   
2. Not Buying It - Judith Levine (loving it!)
   
3. The Ethical Gourmet - Jay Weinstein (it's making me hungry)
   

9. One book that you have been meaning to read:
A Jane Austen novel.

(All of the sudden there is total silence... chirp chirp... chirp chirp... good gravy! She's has NEVER read a Jane Austen novel? GAH!).

Yes folks, there you have it. I've never read any of her novels and from what I'm understanding by reading all your wonderful blogs that I am missing out on something spectacular. If any of you have kept reading instead of leaving this site pronto in disgust, can I ask for any recommendations?

I am usually very embarrassed by the fact that I have read nothing "classic" unless under the force of potential academic grades (and I started out as a Classics major - the shame!) But that was 18 years ago folks, my brain fogged by the inbetween years. That's my excuse and I'm stickin' to it.

So there you have it folks: I'm illiterate. A team of monkeys write my posts and the rejects are used as scripts for The Simple Life.