Thursday, June 15

FedEx Hell II: The Reckoning

The following post is rated S for sweary*. A lot of swearing both real and Archie-comic style appears in the following rant.
* yes, sweary. It's my blog and I'll make up any words I want.

OMIGOD! THOSE MO-FO'S DID NOT SHOW UP UNTIL 6:54 PM! FU$%&*@(!^"%^*(@#%^&ampCamp;({}*&()#*&%(&$#@!~K HOLY HELL. Huge corporate courier companies are ASSWIPES I TELL YOU!

I'm not kidding. FedEx showed up 9 hours and 54 minutes into the 8 hour window I was quoted. Bumper and I sat inside on a beautiful day and waited for Godot**.

I can't tell you how worked up I am. I was spitting nails by the time Bump Daddy got home (5pm) and he has watched me pace, call the 1800 number, and swear A LOT. Why do I get so worked up? BECAUSE THEY WASTED OUR DAY!!!!!! I couldn't even do laundry because that's in the basement, far away from the buzzer. I'm weak now and I feel like crying but it's over. I must be mentally unbalanced to get this worked up over a parcel. This folks, is a meltodown. I mean, for freakin' sakes I almost answered the door with my top open, revealing my nursing bra (sex-ah-eee) and my muffin top*** but I didn't.

And I was nice to the man that delivered because it's not his fault that his huge corporate task master overloads his truck and expects him to do this dispatch in the time allowed. You see, even in a meltdown I'm considerate of others. This has been an issue for me because the only other times I have actually cracked in my lifetime, no one believed me because I was always considerate of others. But that's a whole other posts and I have no time for it now.

So here is a picture of me giving the FedEx van the finger.

And what was in the package you ask? Bumpers new shoes. Which are really friken' cute. Which is lucky. For FedEx.

** I dated this complete waste of flesh in high school who thought he was the cat's ass because he got Waiting for Godot. He was such an ass but good looking so it was easy to overlook the ass part for about three weeks and then he was gone. Ah, high school romance.

*** I'm pretty sure this term was invented by Scarbie Doll over at Martinis for Milk and what a perfect term it is!

I'd also like to say a huge thank you for your support and hugs over recent posts. You all rock!

Can't post without cuteness.


metro mama said...

I feel for you. I have had to spend several days stuck at home recently waiting for: the drywall guy, the gas guy, the painter, etc.

Glad the footwear finally arrived--those are cute shoes!

Her Bad Mother said...

OK, um, the shoes on the left? With the birds? WONDERBABY IS WEARING THOSE.

Bri said...

awwwwwww so cute those shoes!!!!

Kind of like waiting for furniture deliveries, repair men etc..

bubandpie said...

Oooh, the squirrels! Those Robeez just keep getting cuter.

lildb said...

love the shoeses and wish I could see 'em on the kiddo that is like a delicious cream puff in baby form.


p.s. I have been in a similar, UPS-shaped, hell for the last two days, and it won't end until tomorrow afternoon, *sometime*.


Beth said...

At least the shoes are worth it! lol!

kittenpie said...

We had a waster of wo days recently waiting for a xerox repair guy. Misterpie was livid.

And a shopping note - if you are evfer in the beaches nabe, a store called Crayons on Kingston Road between Main and Vic Park sells Robeez for $20. TWENTY! And some nice used kids clothes from all the beachers in the area too. For the next size you'll need (soon enough).