back in the saddle bumbo again

We're back! Happy Mother's Day to all you fine celebrators (like myself) out there!

You would not believe the past few days we have had. It all started when we got back from the East Coast late Thursday afternoon and had to fight some of the worst traffic to get home. A normally 25 minute trip took 90 minutes in a cab because the 401 was down to one lane in the collectors and something had messed up the express lanes... translation to those not familiar with the 401: PURE CHAOS. Bumper cried for over an hour of that time. She then promptly and for no apparent reason stopped two minutes before arriving home.

It wasn't 100% bad - Bump Daddy met us at the airport and we had a wonderful bit of family time in the taxi but I wish my family time hadn't included a man named Raheem and all the debt collectors who kept calling him. Apparently he has a bit of a money flow problem. But this traffic jam was just the start of the weekend to come.

Let me say this first (a disclaimer, if you will): Bump Daddy is a good family guy with few vices. He loves us and treats us like the fine ladies we are (but expects us to be tough just like we expect him to be in touch with his emotions and fluffy side. Now I'm rambling so I will digress and anyways, none of this is very relevant but I felt it needed to be said). I'm such a rambler... SEE??? There I go again!

Anyhoooo... Bump Daddy called me at 4pm on Friday and said "_____ wants to go for drinks - I won't be long or home late". Yah right - momma didn't raise no fool. So 9pm comes and me and the Bumper head to bed without our good nights. I'm not surprized or upset so I drift off to sleep without issue. Sometime later (2:45am!) I hear the phone ring.

I ignore it.

It starts ringing again.

I groan.

And then again. RING RING.

I think "WTF?".

Then I realize Bump Daddy ain't home.

Hmmm.... I get to the phone (still ringing) and in those 10 seconds to get there, I manage to think "hospital? copshop? stripper with a heart of gold?, brace yourself for the worst motherbumper".

Alas, none of the above - it's the buzzer of our apartment.

"Hello?"

"Hi sha-wheat-ie (said with a slur) buzz me up - I can't find my keys".

B*st*rd. I'm gonna kill him. Bumper is now crying and I'm back to bed. Oh did I mention that earlier that day I threw my back out and I'm in major pain? So I kick him to the curb couch and I'm back to bed. I wake up with a completely frozen back, a screaming 14lb weight that is too cute to ignore and a hungover beyond belief husband. Great start to my first Mother's Day weekend (come on now - one day ain't enough - has to last the entire weekend as far as I'm concerned).

So long story short, I'm bitchin' and hardly able to move and he's dying of alcohol poisoning. This goes on for the entire day. Now it's Sunday and really Mother's Day and so far he's kept himself on my good side but is still sick as a dog and trying not to moan about it. Sigh. On the bright side: I got a wicked new camera, Bumper has a whole lot of new "tricks"* and I'm getting my Pad Thai in about 10 minutes. Can't beat that.

So enough complaining - I'm getting caught up in my blog reading (how much did I miss it? It was insane! I had the DTs!!. I will be catching up on my commenting posthaste!). HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY AND PEACE OUT!

EVERYDAY SHOULD BE MOTHER'S DAY

I know - the caption is totally gag-worthy but she's got a point.

* Bumper's new stuff:

• She can sit up without assistance - from lying down, from her tummy, where ever she wants!
• She now is eating fruit - she hated it the first time out but now she likes pears and banana. Next up: peaches!
• And the big one: (cue drum roll please) TWO TEETH - bottom middle and they look great (you'll have to trust me on this because they are impossible to capture on film).