Thursday, April 22

Did This Rat Die For Your Sins?

We were barreling down the highway with our windows up and the music cranked, both bobbing our heads in unison to Lady Gaga's Telephone. Mind you my head bob was adjusted for safety reasons as driving dictated that I be a bit more focused on the road than my heart on the dance-floor.

We love the cranked tunes, my girl and I. We are cut from the same cloth. In the car we both know the best way to drive is with the stereo cranked to eleven. She smiles, I smile, and we let the music take over our brains. Sometimes when we arrive at our destination we sit in the car until the end of the song because you know, we have to close the show properly.

So needless to say interruptions in our musical reveries are few and far between but on this particular evening, after a hard day of play-dating, something made my daughter yell out from the back seat mid-tune.

'I SEE IT!'


I was confused as I snapped out of my harmonizing with Beyonce moment. We weren't discussing much less looking for anything. What is she screaming about from the backseat?

'I SEE IT! I SEE IT MOMMY! RIGHT THERE!'

I glanced in the rearview to see what she was pointing towards. Her body leaned towards the right of the car as much as her car seat allowed and her eyes were wide. My eyes set towards her pointing finger and all I saw the usual landscape of strip malls, restaurants, and megaplexes. What on earth was she so excited about?

'I SEE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT! Do you see it mommy?' she asked in a more muted but concerned tone now that I had turned down the music to figure out what the fuss was all about.

'Uh... no? What exactly am I looking for?' was my response.

She made that exasperated, exaggerated sigh that she reserves for mommy-stupidity moments and slapped her sweet chubby judgmental hand to her face to emphasize her disgust with me.

'Chuck E Jesus Mom! He's right there!'


And she was correct. There in the wasteland of strip malls and chain restaurants, the rat had risen and he was beckoning to all the small children to sit at his paws and learn how to become disciples of the big old corporate overlords.

Glory be, my daughter recognizes Chuck E. Jesus *cough* I mean, Cheese without any guidance from us. We're doomed. My turn to sigh and slap the forehead.

12 comments:

for a different kind of girl said...

Do whatever you must to find a new route to all destinations that would take you by that hell hole and do it immediately. Don't let that rat bastard win, ever!

the weirdgirl said...

Oh my god, I so want a Chuck E. Jesus t-shirt now!

mapsgirl said...

OMG! That is the funniest thing! And I too want a shirt!

Karen MEG said...

Oh the temple of Chuck E - the Jesus had me cracking up! It's madness in there, I tell ya, just madness. I hope not to ever have to step foot in that rat's nest again.

I'm lovin' the Gaga-Beyonce collaboration myself.

嘉容嘉容 said...

看看blog調整心情,又要來繼續工作,大家加油........................................

petite gourmand said...

is there one in T.O?
thankfully we've never been...

Kyla said...

We looooove Telephone. Love it.

Chuck E. Jesus? We grin and bear it, when we've gotta.

ParisH said...

0401影音成人影片交流愛撫淫叫色情照片性愛圖片女生如何自慰激突成人論壇美女脫胸罩走光一夜正妹視訊情人性愛論壇85cc影城性伴侶85cc色情影片打手槍情色視訊聊天室色情a片色情色情圖片限制級照片色情電話520sex免費色情網情色性愛一夜情聊天網成人聊天網視訊成人台灣性網av一夜女情色av淫女免費視訊美女挑逗情色影音聊天作愛影片辣妹清涼秀美女做愛成人自拍貼圖成人資訊色論壇台灣色情成人網站色情視訊聊天露三點打砲情色性愛貼圖av成人網成人影片

pandorican said...

I refuse, out of principal, to worship at that particular altar anymore. (Mostly because ours smells like pee and feet.)

laboriousliving said...

have you ever shot pino grigio through your nose? Ow.

laboriousliving said...

Chuck E Cheese, That would be a great band name.

S Farrell said...

That is hilarious! I will call it that from now on. I wish my kids would get down in the car with me. It hasn't stopped ME though. The older they get, the lower they crouch in the back seat :)