Monday, April 6
Overheard on the subway
I was selfishly glad she was tired. It meant for quiet travels and I'm kind of glad she wasn't aware of everything going on because we are full on knee-deep in the "why" phase of life, and you will see why I didn't want any "why" questions as you read on.
After getting off the train, Gigi and I headed into the subway station making our way to the platform. It was Saturday night and as I looked around at all the people obviously heading out for a night of debauchery, I felt a little bit wistful for my former days of dancing around Gomorrah.
But not as much as some people.
Two business types were standing next to us on the platform. They were chatting away though I was only half-listening due to proximity. Like the other conversations going on around me, it sounded like two adults in a Charlie Brown show (you know the nonsensical "mwa mwa mwa" way) until I heard the word "threesome".
Yah, I've never claimed to be mature so you say the words "beaver", "threesome", or "balls", I'm gonna focus on what I'm thinking is a naughty conversation [isn't that right Jessica, you said beaver in your latest post and got my attention]. Listen and learn folks: if you are trying to teach me something, listen and learn. If more profs in university randomly added the words "balls" and "booty" to their lectures, attendance and grades would probably reflect the perks of the new content.
These two rather square looking business types standing behind me were holding briefcases that I now think were filled with porn mags rather than spreadsheets because HELLO? Threesome? Hey, spreadsheets: that's a good nickname for porn, don'tcha think? Anyhow, these two guys were talking in totally normal volume voices and this is what I heard from the time the word "threesome" caught my ear.
Not so square dude #1: "So can you believe she did that? SHE TAPED OVER IT"
Not so square dude #2: "Over your threesome?"
NSSD#1: "Yah, she taped over the threesome we recorded and she taped over it with - get this - The Young and the Restless!"
NSSD#2: "NO WAY. Y&R?!? But that's on time shifting**"
NSSD#1: "I KNOW! And do you know how hard it was to convince her that Tammi* was going to go for it? All that planning and stuff and now the memories are gone."
NSSD#2: "You two had a threesome with Tammi? That's so cool. But isn't it weird to see her at work?"
NSSD#1: "Not really. She was the only one my wife would agree to let join in."
NSSD#2: "I'm impressed she let you tape it. Do you think Tammi would go for it again?"
* not her real name though if it was, I imagine she'd sign her name with a tiny heart dotting the "i"
** also, it's on demand so there really is no excuse to tape the Y&R which makes me think: wife did it on purpose.
I don't know what happened after that moment because I was too busy stuffing objects into my and my daughter's ear canals.
So ends another Saturday night in the big city with my kid.