Monday, March 2

trash heap

In case you haven't noticed, it's Monday.

You know, I figured once I was out of the cube farm routine that Monday wouldn't be as sucky-yucky anymore.  But guess what? Mondays still almost always suck and yuck.

Know what else sucks and yucks? Laundry.

In fact, the pile of laundry in our home may be no where near the epic Everest proportions it has achieved many times before, but this particular pile that recently cast a long, wide shadow over our marital nest, well that pile has achieved a new record holding title: most fragrant. Which is the very polite way for me to say that our stuff stinks to high h*ll.

In fact, the other night was when I first noticed the eau du laundree.  I was lying in bed, doing the daily review of things that I once again didn't get accomplished (self-flagellation is best done when horizontal to the ground and under a duvet) when the fragrance of spilled yoghurt drinks combined with towels, socks, and other smelly garments reached my nostrils and did a dance of pungent voodoo.

So I did what anyone else would have done in my situation: I pulled the pile of laundry into the living room.

Problem solved.

Such is life when you live at the mercy of a laundromat.

Hey, I can't be alone in this laundromat buziness... can I? Do you all own your own washers and dryers... omg if you all say yes, I'll cry.

Yes, I realize this post is light and fluffy but I'm debating burning the laundry pile and starting from scratch.  That requires some planning - more planning than actually doing said laundry, but a controlled indoor laundry fire is so much more fun, don'tcha think? And so much less to fold.

And to extend the joy of a limp fluff post, I'm also going to do some shamless self-promotion: I'm hosting ANOTHER Johnson's Baby Canada giveaway over at Drugstore Cowgirl so if you didn't win the last time, please enter again.

Oh and to be clear, I'm giving away neither babies or Canada but some yummy Johnson's Baby products to a Canadian.  It took me a while to figure out they didn't want me to give away Canadian Babies (because HELLO! Ultimate Giveaway) and instead some lovely, NICE smelling products from the Johnson's Baby line. Now that we have that all cleared up, I can go on ignoring my laundry and trying to figure out how many babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil.  Anyone want to hazard a guess?

21 comments:

pandorican said...

While I do technically OWN a washer and dryer, The washer is so old that it doesn't actually spin without a prayer to the god of cleanliness and sanity (hereafter referred to as St. Xanax), a pair of scissors and a washer shaped voodoo doll, and even then it's hit or miss, sometimes resulting in me, manually spinning the fucking thing, wringing out the clothes by hand, or just staying "screw it" and destroying our ecosystem by running them through the dryer approx. 1946592 times.
So, um in summary, I SHOULD use the laundromat.

twobusy said...

The duvet is a solid strategy -- they tend to act as a flagellation-baffle, and reduce the otherwise scoring lashes to something that feels vaguely like a breeze. "Ooh, that was refreshing."

Chantal said...

I did something similar last night when the eau of stale coffee wafted its way to my nostrils. In stead of getting out of bed and washing the cup, I simply had my handy husband move it away from me. Ahhhh! much better.

Don't Lick The Ferrets! said...

I could use a Canadian baby, but have no use for baby products. Nor do I live in Canada. Darnit! Today is obviously NOT my day!

Michelle said...

Hon, you have my complete and utter empathy. And should you ever want to trek on over (it's only a block after all) to do a load or two, be my guest. I have been sans laundry machine before and I will NEVER do it again. I refuse. I can go without many things but a washer and dryer are non-negotiable for me.
Huh, funny coincidence... the word verification is "supsy"... so if you turned that "p" 180 degrees...

Heather said...

I would be even more loony than I already am if I didn't have a washer and dryer. Sigh. Such is my life to be thrilled with things like in-home laundry.

for a different kind of girl said...

Here's how I figure it - if you're already laying down, no way you're going to get up to do whatever didn't get done. Hell, I'd spend my entire day laying down if it didn't seem so freakin' lazy, but then I'd be inclined to ask the person calling me out on my laziness exactly when they became the boss of me. Then I would probably refer to that person as "mom."

Oh, and technically, I have a washer and dryer, but my dryer squeaks so loudly right now it will burst your eardrums, and I know as sure as I type this, that squeak is a sign that the motor is begging for mercy and it will go up on me soon, thus, I will eventually be joining you in the laundromat spirit.

Shash said...

OMG! Just when I thought it could not be possible to love you even more, you post a picture of the Trash Heap from Fraggle Rock! And then I swoon again!

My laundry pile has migrated to the garage. My children are about to go to school nude. I'm up for Parent of the Year, no? :)

Kyla said...

You don't have a washer and dryer?! I can't imagine doing the laundromat thing with kids in the mix...Josh and I had to at our first apartment, but that was pre-BubTar.

Lynette said...

I'm going to go with one baby to make a bottle of baby oil. But that's only if they are really REALLY little. Otherwise, 3.
(So, do I need to come to Canada to pick up my baby, or will you ship it ground?)

Thanks.I was just telling my husband I wanted another baby. But not if I had to get pregnant.

Mary G said...

Laughing. A lot. Maybe if you let the pile ferment a little longer it will pick itself up and drive itself over to the laundromat. You could try bribing it with baby oil; no, I guess it isn't eligible. Unless it spawns another couple of small piles.

When I got engaged I refused the diamond ring thing. What I want, I said, is an automatic washer when the first baby is born. Got it, too. The drier was another matter. Imagine all that stuff wet and strung around the place.

Chag said...

The company that creates self-cleaning clothes will be the richest company in history.

Ali said...

i guess there are some positives about living north of 7, eh? :)

Janet said...

We have washer and dryer in the house. It doesn't seem to make a real difference to the pile of laundry tho...

Denguy said...

I own two washers and two dryers.

That would depend on the size of the bottle. I have one here that looks like it contains the oil of 12 babies.

Mrs. Chicky said...

Mmm... Canadian babies. I hear they taste like Canadian bacon. Nom nom nom.

Amber said...

I do own a washer and dryer. But that is not my point. My point is that lately, with a preschooler, we have had the stinky laundry too. I think it`s because I let her do things like drink milk from a regular cup. Then of course she spills the milk, and it gets wiped up with a towel and a few days later that towel smells to high heaven. And then even though I have my own laundry facilities, it still takes me several days to avail myself of them. Yes, it`s a glamorous life I lead.

Karen Sugarpants said...

I'm going to go with 17. 17 babies.

p.s. the word verification is putoging. which totally sounds like pilfering thru trash.

Parent Club said...

My washer gets turned on much more often then I do!

Kat said...

I love Fraggle Rock and the Trash Heap!!

kittenpie said...

Man, if you were giving away babies, I know some takers...

And I now not only have laundry, but laundry I can get to right through the house! I am one spoiled woman - I don't miss the years of laundromats or trudging through the snow AT ALL. One dsy, m'dear, one day.