Day thirty: Is it... is it really day 30 already?

Oh my holy grapes, mother have mercy, I can't believe it's finally over. NaBloPoMo will be a thing of yesterday tomorrow and I'm actually surprized I made it here. I must give out special thank yous to Chag over at Cynical Dad, Something Baby Blue and Jezer over at JezeWhiz because they kept me going on those rough days and I tried to do the same. And I have to say thank you to all the people that commented on my (sometimes lame) posts. You all freakin' rock.

Now you will not hear from me for a long time.

I am solo today and tonight, Bumper refused to go to sleep and cried and cried and cried until an hour after her regular bed time and I want to have dinner. I swear that husband must give her a fifth of bourbon or something* because I can never get her to go to sleep as quickly as he does. GAH! So after I press Publish, I'm going to curl up in front of the TV, watch me some Survivor and eat whatever I darn well please. Grilled cheese with a pickle sounds about right. Easy to make and filling.

Some reminders before I collapse:

Did I forget to mention that over at Mommy Blogs Toronto there will be new posts every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday? No? Well you know now. Go check it out today and tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, Friday is the last day to vote over at the Canadian Blog Awards. Go vote for Metro Mama and Sunshine Scribe if you've been meaning to - there's only so much time left!

There, I'm done. I have now collapsed into my couch not to return until I have done some commenting, written about 100 emails and created a few movie lists that are actually worth reading.

Hey - did I mention you all rock?

* husband does not give our child bourbon or alcohol of any kind (as far as I know). I'm kidding, I swear he doesn't and neither do I.

Day twenty-nine: By George!

First I've got to tell you that a new post is up at Mommy Blogs Toronto and it's written by me, so get over there and have a read, I'll wait.

Thank you all so much for your get well soon wishes and my words would fail to describe the way I felt when I woke up to find my comments and inbox full of good vibes and my virus nearly gone. Let's just say it felt great.

I feel so much healthier than yesterday and to make me feel even better - something that we had given up hope in getting back, came back into our lives. Dear sweet George made his way home (our own little Incredible Journey if you please - okay, okay, it's nothing like that but indulge me please. Trust me,
many family members wept in the making of this story).

George is Bumper's best friend. He is the first one she searches for each morning, the one she hugs whenever the nasty doctor prods her, he was her date to her first birthday party, her all around main man.

This past Monday after finding out at the doctors that I had to deprive my always hungry toddler of solids, I ran over to the store to stock up on juice to keep her hydrated. Of course George accompanied us to the doctors, so he tagged along to the store.

Somewhere between the tangerine juice and the checkout, George went MIA. I realized this out on the street, about two minutes after leaving the store. I initially panicked because George and I have a history (he's over twenty years old though you wouldn't think he was a day over five) and I always knew that I was taking a risk allowing Bumper to take him outside of home. I can't tell you how much I'm blushing right now by admitting that I actually cried over this incident but I did.

I've had George for so long that he was really part of the family. He had some fading but he has had a good life and never required repair. When Bumper first noticed George she was instantly entranced. I don't know if it was his eyes, his sexy red shirt or the shine of his wonderful fur but she was smitten from the get-go. I reluctantly let her play with him and watched their relationship blossom before my eyes. As soon as I saw the bond, I couldn't say no to their love. George had a new girlfriend and he couldn't have picked a better lady.

me and my shadow

So over the past few months I've become more lax in keeping George at home. It started with short walks in the summer, which morphed into errand runs, downtown excrusions and trips to visit the grandparents. George became part of the check-list: Bumper's bottle? check, changing stuff? check, snacks? check, George? check.

So you can imagine my sheer terror when I realized he was gone. I tried to appear calm because Bumper was on the verge of falling asleep but I needed to at least retrace my steps. I figured I'd turn a corner and there he would be, laying on the ground with that accusing and sad stare of "why did you leave me here?".

But that didn't happen. I started to panic when I got back to the last place I was in the store and I quickly ran to the customer service desk by the check-out. I asked as calmly as possible (as not to appear too deranged) and the woman gave me a shrug when she opened the empty lost and found drawer.

She must have heard something in my voice or maybe she looked at Bumper and saw her own child because she told me to call the store later in the day because someone might find it and sometimes it takes a while to make it to the desk. She wrote down the number and told me it was the direct line to the service desk. I thanked her and walked away, sad because I knew the chances were slim in getting such a fine looking monkey back.

I once again retraced my steps to no avail and dejectedly headed home with Bumper asleep and blissfully unaware of George's misadventure. I actually cried and called husband who tried to comfort me as best as he could. He was positive George would show up*.

So later in the day I called back. Nothing. Even later, I went back in person. Nothing. I went home and tried to convince myself that he was gone and there was nothing I could do. Get over it, he's just a stuffed animal. That night I came this close to posting about it, but it was too painful (I'm serious, just scrolling down and seeing his photo on Saturday's post just about killed me).

Tuesday I called as soon as the store opened and there was nothing. I was too sick to call back later and as I lay in bed I thought, he's gone and I'll pretend that I didn't see Bumper looking for him this morning because just trying to imagine what she was thinking would make me feel even worse. Why didn't I pay more attention? How could I miss something that large falling out of the stoller? It was horrible.

Today, feeling healthy enough to run to the store to restock, I thought I will try some other places along the way just in case someone picked him up outside. I was already designing missing posters in my head and husband was scouting out stores that might carry a similar guy.

I checked out two lost and founds with no results. So I went back to the grocery store and decided that standing in the long customer service line was worth the wait. As I got to the front of the line I started to think I might be overreacting, it's just a toy - why bother trying to find it. Bumper will forget about him and she will find something new. But I waited.

When I got to the front of the line I asked if any toys had been turned into the lost and found and she said yes a stuffed cat had been turned in. I said no, a monkey. She leaned over the drawer and rooted around. I can't tell you how fast my jaw hit the ground when she pulled George out. She told me the look on my face was priceless and she immediately knew how important this monkey meant to me. She waved George in Bumper's face and I wish I had the camera. Bumper grabbed him and hugged him tight. I thanked this woman profusely - short of hugging her (I didn't want to make her sick) and then tried to complete the grocery shopping.

Honestly, I was so so happy I couldn't concentrate on shopping. I had to phone the grandparents (who were devastated when I told them on Monday night) and I had to call husband (who was so freakin' happy I thought I heard him jump up at his desk). I'm lucky I picked up enough for dinner.

Just seeing Bumper hug him tight reminded me that you should never give up, even up on the "little" things.

* Husband admits he didn't think we would get George back but he wanted to be positive for us.

Day twenty-eight: I can't quit now

I'm so sick that typing these few words shoots pain up my arms continuing to my entire body. I can't post much less lift my head off the pillow. Bumper ground up an arrowroot into my scalp today because I was lying on the floor, helpless. Husband came to save me soon after which is a damn good thing. The apartment looks like a cyclone hit it but at least I got to sleep this afternoon. I must now continue emergency sleeping and regular posting should resume tomorrow.

For the love of ice cream, I hope I feel better tomorrow.


Separated at birth?

BTW - Bumper is back in form again and spent the day swinging from the rafters.

Day twenty-seven: so close, oh so close

I've got nothing folks, not a thing to post about.

Today was a complete write-off because it was bad from the get go.

Bumper was sick enough to warrant a visit to the doctor who confirmed she has a virus. He could only tell me that I just have to wait and see how she is in day or so and to keep her hydrated and off solids.

It's not easy to keep Bumper off solids because she is a girl who loves her bickie (arrowroot) and her sweet potato puffs. Oh yes, and potatoes and pasta. And about a hundred other solid foods. She begged tonight which was heartbreaking so I slipped her a few bland items (solids be damned!). Not enough to make her stuffed but enough to get rid of the hunger pains.

You know what? I'm going to stop right there because I could go on for hours about taking care of a sick toddler and how frustrating and sad it is when you just can't help them. But I'm going to stop because any parent reading this post already knows that sad song lyric and I don't need to repeat it all out of tune.

All I need was just to vent a wee bit. Thanks.

So I will end this post with two things: (1) a new Motherbumper's movie thingy list tomorrow and (2) a photo from the Bumper archives:

Been giving the stink-eye for over a year now!

Day twenty-six: 80% less verbose

I can't decide if I should post about how someone I love dearly threw up all over me on the subway or how I can't believe that it is seven days later and Bumper and I remain two sick chicks.

This is a hard virus to shake. Nothing alarming, just the evolution of this virus is not missing a step. Sore throat to sniffles to cough to crankiness to stomach stuff and so on. Nothing unmanageable, just pretty much one symptom at a time. Today was the first day that she was pretty much cranky more often than not. Poor kid.

So when deciding what post subject to tackle tonight, I remembered it's Sunday so I should be doing a Motherbumper's movie thingy list. I should be compiling a list of movies that I haven't even prepared or thought about. Gah.

So I've decide that I will spare you any gross stories about illness, any movie lists that potentially may become another horror film list* and admit that I would rather be watching TV with husband and eating ice cream now that Bumper is asleep.

And that is what I'm going to do right now. I'll be back to regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.

* people always say write what you know, so I write about horror. How sad is that.

Day twenty-five: I love TV

Husband is out tonight so I'm going to curl up to ANTM (I haven't watched it yet so I hope that link is accurate. I copied and pasted it while staring at the ceiling) and I'm gonna eat in front of the TV. That is a luxury I haven't experienced in a while.

I like for us to eat together as a family. Most nights I consider it a major coup if we are all sitting at the table for over two minutes because of all the running around we do but at least we always eat with the TV off. Not that it's never on, we just always wait until after Bumper goes to sleep.

TV is going to be my last resort when it comes to Bumper. I've challenged myself to hold out and not show it to her. Honestly, I don't know how much longer I can hold out. I had to use TV this week while we were sick just so I could get some things done. Thankfully, it doesn't hold her interest for long but it sure does make her stay still for those few precious minutes. But I'm getting side-tracked here.

Hey - I just realized that I'll probably have time to catch up on Ugly Betty*. I must get this post done...

Husband asked what I was going to post about tonight before he went out. I had been thinking about that all day but only came up with this lame "what do you people think of this parenting scenario - nothing exciting or remotely dramatic" type of post. When I told him this, he suggested I write about what we did today to which I replied that I thought it was kind of embarrassing to admit. This made him laugh because he couldn't imagine why I think this is embarrassing considering some of my other posts. I'm not sure what he is talking about so on with the story.

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Today we finally put Bumper in her own room. Her crib has been at the end of our bed since we bought it and we have been meaning to turn the office into her room for quite a while. Due to time-constraints, this project has taken many, many weekends to finish (translation: overbooked social lives combined with laziness makes for little time for home projects). Since it was a two person job, we really needed to coordinate and dedicate many hours to get this project done.

At first I planned it in phases but that hit a road block just around the stage where her actual bed would be moved.

We moved the office many weeks ago, we set up the change table a few weeks ago, leaving only two big-ish jobs to complete. (1) Take apart the rubik's cube of an IKEA crib and move it to the other room and (2) remove the six boxes of crap that hadn't been sorted out. Six small, but very full boxes, of junk, papers and computer stuff. Gah.

I'm embarrassed that it took us this long to complete but it did. In our defence, at one point we had eleven weekends straight where we had places to go. And we also couldn't do stuff at night because it would wake Bumper. Gah.

But regardless of all that, I am so freakin' glad we have finally finished. It is 99.99% done and I'm relaxing tonight.

And in case you are wondering: yes, there are now six small, but very full, boxes in the corner of our bedroom but that is okay.

As long as they don't sit there for 14 months.

see you later, sucker

* I will admit that I am a complete TV junkie and I'm shocked that I have yet to resort to showing her the magic of the box. Seriously I'm going to hold out as long as possible but only because I know she has inherited both our genes for TV addiction. I'm definitely not preaching anti-TV, folks.

Day twenty-four: home stretch

There's another great read up over at Mommy Blog Toronto. This one is by Crazymumma and let me tell you, I can completely relate because I have been eating some of that pie since Bumper came along. Go check it out.

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Dear Bumper,

I wish you had told me before I got in the shower that you knew how to climb on top of the toilet tank, reach over to the sink and dump all our dental related tools behind the can.

I thought that your silence was due to content play in the warm and wonderfully steamy bathroom. Silly me.

I heavily resist adding this to some petty bill that some parents run in order to later (unsuccessfully) guilt-trip adolescent children*.

I do realize that I am just a figure-head in your puppet regime but could you at least try to let me appear to be running the show at some point in the day?

I love you forever,
Mom

P.S. Could you also warn me before you scale the couch and jump up onto the really high-up, really hard-landing if you fall, window ledge... PRETTY PLEASE.

so this is what the cats are looking at all day

* I need to clarify that my parents never did that kind of guilt tripping but I did have a close friend and her parents ran this type of tab. They often started up about it when we had plans to go out and she asked for money. We were 14 years old and it sucked. Nothing like giving your teenagers more reasons to rebel.

Day twenty-three: because I saw everyone else doing it

This is me in South Park mode. Go do one of yourself because it's fun... and I said so.
Go do it and post it for the world to see what you'd look like if you were goin’ down to South Park and gonna have yourself a time. And come tell me if you did.

I remember South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut was released on my birthday and it was part of my weekend long celebration (we were crazy kids like that). Watching it in the theatre, I laughed really hard and was simultaneously offended which is just a wonderful combination of feeling sometimes... I love me a funny movie.

I'm so glad I saw Kittenpie, Something Baby Blue, Crazymumma and Her Bad Mother do this one because I know what they actually look like, which makes it super cool. Thank you ladies!

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And yet another post where I talk about horror movie stuff so you can't say I didn't warn you.

We are suffering from cabin fever due to illness here at Casa Bump. I wish it was as exciting as this Cabin Fever (minus the gore, death and bloody stuff...). Mind you that movie was just about gore, death and bloody stuff but I still really enjoyed squirming while watching it. If you are looking for a real stomach turner reminiscent of old school "good looking young people die painfully" shock horror then this is your movie.

I get darn scared watching horror by Eli Roth like Cabin Fever. I saw that particularly sanguinary gem at the Toronto Film Festival. When the movie list is released each year, the first thing husband and I check out is the roster of grisly offerings playing at Midnight Madness. I'm a huge fan of jumping out of my seat. I've seen a lot of turkeys at the festival but well done horror like Roth's is worth the misery of watching some bad celluloid.

It tickles me that I was there when he first announced that Cabin Fever was picked up for wide release and I'm a super satisfied fan knowing that I got to see 2005's Hostel with his wish list soundtrack (no rights had been secured at the time). Even without all special effects and background noise, it grossed me out beyond normal boundries and it was a wonderful gore fest (and super creepy, since it could really happen).

Roth, who both wrote and directed Hostel spoke before and after the film. He explained that originally he was researching one of those "you hope it's an urban legend" type rumours before he came up with the story for Hostel. He was in Thailand (I think) looking into an underground torture network where patrons pay money to torture victims of their choice. Not willing victims. Rumour said that families would sell other members to this network. I guess I shouldn't tell my family that this is a way to make money or I'm screwed.

So long story short: he didn't find concrete evidence of the network so he wrote the story for Hostel which involves a youth hostel in an ambiguous Eastern European country where American back-packers are the hottest commodity.

I'm really glad I saw this movie AFTER travelling abroad.

Now that I've thought about it, Bumper is never allowed to go overseas without me.

Day twenty-two: Know thy neighbour?

Have you been over to the Mommy Blogs Toronto blog recently?

Go read the latest post by Sunshine Scribe, I'll wait - just promise to come back.

Thanks for coming back or staying (but I encourage you to read her post - it's a wicked call to post and if you are doing NaBloPoMo and running out of stuff to do, do this and I guarantee you'll feel all warm and gooey like a fresh baked chocolate chip cookie. And that's just wonderful feeling).

Anyhow - on with the post.

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So we live in an apartment building and we've been in this unit for a few years now. Recently we noticed an increase in noise coming from upstairs. Nothing that lasts too long but sometimes incredibly loud.

It's hard to describe but I'm going to do my best. It sometimes sounds like someone is bowling. Seriously, it sounds like a bowling ball hitting the floor and rolling but it's a slow roll. Very strange.

One night it happened multiple times and the repeatative drop... ro-o-o-o-o-o-oll... sound began to inspire our thoughts about what was happening up there.

This is what we came up with: It's a really disorganized serial killer and he is currently dismembering a very large person. And it's taking forever.

I think we have been watching far too many horror movies lately.

But seriously, I think it's someone who drinks and they pass out and drop their beer bottle. Anyone have any other theories?

Day twenty-one: now with 70% more decepticon

Bumper has met her nemesis at the local drop-in.

This local playgroup attracts a diverse crowd which is the reason I keep going back. I always run into someone interesting to talk with and Bumper has a blast playing with the various (germy) toys, especially the larger (filthy) car and tunnel toys and she seems especially attracted to the children with runny noses.

must stop listening to OCD impulse voices in my head...

must keep socializing to maintain sanity...

we cannot live in sealed bubble for the entire cold season.... or can we?

Moving right along and ignoring the voices in my head...

Last time we attended, I saw a mom and daughter playing alone on the gym mats. Bumper seemed interested in the toys near them so I sat down and initiated a conversation. I must add that I used to be reserved but since having a baby as a great ice-breaker, I've become a bit more outgoing. I had a good chat with this mom and our little ladies sized each other up while pretending to be interested in chewing on some blocks.

So I'm one of those hovery moms and I was watching Bumper closely. (I know, I know, I've got to let go but she's quick people, very quick. Leave her for two seconds and she will set off a chain of events worthy of a Jack Bauer storyline).

While hovering watching, I noticed something interesting in the dynamic between Bumper and Baby Geraldine*. Instead of the usual "crawl up and pull down the opponent type" of greeting, they just circled each other. If she moved a few feet to the right, Bumper lined herself up on the opposite side of the mat. Not once did they approach each other. It was very odd. They totally eye-balled each other but never came closer than three feet of each other.

The call for clean up time soon happened so I didn't get to see any long term results, but I swear I'm going to keep going back until I find Baby Geraldine again.

And to boot, she did have one of those Bert style unibrows that only a baby can carry off.

I am not kidding - she really did.

* not her real name

Day twenty: almost two-thirds cooked

Thank goodness for the advancements in photocopier technology.

I'm not quite sure how the conversation between husband and I came up but somehow we were discussing female anatomy and junior high health class during the Bumper sleep routine (right before last feed and rock, after bath time).

(why I felt I needed to tell you that? I'm not sure. Anyhow....)

I remember I was gossiping about the Cruise marriage this weekend, which led to husband talking about the danger zone and next thing I know the conversation switched to how to please a woman and what wasn't learned in health class.

Since I had no idea how husband learned that, we started talking about where he learned this important information. While I won't say where he learned it, he did say that is sure as heck wasn't from school health class.

He said the mimeograph of the female anatomy received during class was a copy of a copy of a copy and was so blurry, nothing was distinguishable. The Phys-ed teacher also doubled as the one who had to teach the boys the birds and the bees and he sure as heck didn't shed any light on things.

I thought it was hilarious because I thought he said the teachers name was Mr. Hand. It wasn't but I can't tell you how hard I was laughing when I kept picturing this guy teaching a 15 year old husband about that stuff.



So as I said, thank goodness for the advancements in photocopier technology because who knows how many boys out there are getting really really bad hand outs.

Day nineteen: over 60% less germy

Okay - time is of the essence and I must write and post this quickly for fear that sick baby will wake up again. She wasn't too cranky today but she was definitely sick. I hate seeing her that way (I know, I know, what kind of sadist would want to see their child sick?) with a stuffed up nose, congestion and the sneezes. She's such a trooper. Alright, enough with the sick baby talk and onto the movie portion of this post.

So being Sunday, I've got another Motherbumper's movie thingy list.

Since I could be called away at anytime I decided to pull out a list I made a while ago and kept for emergencies just like this. So I've got a list of movies that I haven't seen.

Huh?

Yup - movies that I'm surprized that I have never seen. I spent my teen years in the 80's but I missed many of those pop culture celluloid Trivial Pursuit worthy gems. I saw many movies during that time (I saw almost all the John Hughes movies) but I missed a few mainstream movies. I've also missed some "classics" that I've never made time to see.

So without building it up more then it deserves, my list of movies that I'm surprized I have never seen:

(1) Footloose. Nope, never saw this one and I know little about it. Something about a preacher's daughter that live in a town where dancing is banned and she hooks up with some new kid who dances like a mo'fo'. Oh yeah, and something about playing chicken stretched out between two pick-ups.

(2) Ghost. Something about a dead guy and a pottery-wheel. I understand that Demi Moore's haircut influenced many women.






(3) Dirty Dancing. All I know is the saying "No one puts baby in the corner" or something like that, is from this movie. And I have no idea what that means.

(4) Gone With The Wind. Okay so I pretty much know the premise of this one and I have seen maybe the first hour but that's it. I really should make time for that one.

(5) Wizard of Oz. Once again, I know the basic gist but never have seen completely and I don't know how it ends. So please don't ruin it for me. I'll watch it sometime in the next ten years.

So have I missed anything by not seeing these movies? Should I check them out?

My parents sometimes discouraged me from seeing some popular teen / young adult movies, instead providing access to some really great and not so great films of the more independent stream. But I'll save those for another list.

I must say that I agree with my parent's decision to not let me see this one back when I was in grade four. I saw it in the theatre at it's 20 anniversary re-release and I actually found it completely inappropriate for kids. I'm shocked classmates in grade school were allowed to see this (grade four!). And the ending! Basically if you dress like a slut, you get the guy. GAH!

Wait a second. Am I getting that crotchety in my old age?

Please don't answer that.

Day eighteen: weird science edition

I think this is going to be the winter of illness.

Last winter we were pretty much spared because I was not aware of any of the local drop in centres, so Bumper had little to no contact with other kids. Now that I've discovered all the local haunts, wonderfully staggered through the week so I have options for rainy or cold days, Bumper has been meeting lots of children and her mobility has made her more physically involved with these kids (translation: she is able to tackle, lick and bite - if I don't intervene in time - many more children now that she can go to them, instead of having to wait until they conveniently pass by).

We are going to have a rough winter here at Casa Bump. The sniffles started yesterday at the library, she cried out every hour most of the night and she woke up with a runny nose - icky. But she is happy and only mildly cranky.

I wish we didn't have to pay such a heavy price for socializing.

What Bumper sees when we go to play group:


What I see when we go to play group:


A germ filled petri dish with really cute transmitters.

Day seventeen: The Friday edition

Well I'm glad to be past the half-way mark because I'm less likely to quit at this point. It's not entirely impossible but at this point less likely to happen.

Anyhow, I've spent the last twenty minutes looking for the pigeon-scratches that I call notes. These notes contained the post I intended to put up tonight and I can't find them anywhere. I'm drawing a blank about what I wrote down but I know enough to say that I liked what I wrote down.

Why do I have to be a slave to pen and paper? I just can't seem to give up those manual instruments and give into technology. I guess that's a bit melodramatic but I'm known for my theatrics so it's not that out of character.

I suspect Bumper got her hands on my scribbles because she loves all things paper. And she loves to eat, or at least taste, the paper and just for good measure, she must shred it into tiny little pieces. Tiny little pieces that I find and throw in the recycling.

For instance, she was really, really quiet the other day and we all know that silence is a huge glaring signal that something bad is being perpetrated. Sure enough, she had my wallet and had already dumped out the contents. My plethora of identifications, business cards, postage stamps, stamp cards from shops I have visited once and two fully completed buy 10 get one free Subway cards were spread around her like a picnic. She was just beginning to shred our drop-in centre ID, so I caught her at a good time.

I don't think tonight's post notes were that lucky.

But there is a plus side of the wallet-breach. I realized Subway stopped honoring those stamp cards over a year ago so Bumper did me a favor by forcing me to do a bit of tidying up. Now that I've cleaned out my George Costanza wallet, I can find things without dumping half my life on the counter top. Very nice but I don't recommend the method.

Of course the downside is: I'm missing one somewhat good post that probably is a legend in my own mind and more likely was as exciting as reading my grocery list. And trust me, my grocery list has a really predictable story line and very poor character development.

known suspect caught on film
perpetrating a day-timer felony

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I just told husband what I suspect happened to my notes and how I blogged about it.

I'm inclined to agree when he said my post was "a dog ate your homework" kind of excuse.

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And I'm incorrigible: Don't forget to go vote for your favorites over at the Canadian Blog Awards site - many of my favorite blogs are nominated so it's a hard decision but go vote... pretty please.

Day sixteen: good golly - more pimping!

In case you just can't enough of my delicious posts (mmmm...posts... drool) I now can also be found at the super duper new and shiny blog Mommy Blogs Toronto. See the new logo on my sidebar? I can be found under Bumper's Green*.

Bumper's Green is about my attempt to lessen my impact on the planet through a greener, more environmentally friendly way. I'm lazy, so it should be interesting to see how I succeed at reducing, reusing and recycling.

Right now, you can check out the wicked article by Metro Mama on where to brunch with baby around town. I'll have something up very, very soon and so will the other great ladies who are taking part in this great new site, where you can find posts on Toronto-centric parenting information.

Okay, so this post is what it appears to be: a placeholder post because once every blue moon I actually have plans for the evening and this is one of those blue moons.

So check out Mommy Blogs Toronto, get a button to display on your site here, spread the love and don't forget to go vote for your favorite Canadian bloggers (ahem, I'm in best personal blog category but feel no obligation... but I'll love you forever) over at the Canadian Blog Awards.

* It's the year 2006... People are still the same. They'll do anything to get what they need. And they need BUMPER'S GREEN.

My sincere apologies to Harry Harrison but it just worked so well for me, man.

Day fifteen: 50% more pimped

So the wonderful Something Baby Blue nominated this site for a 2006 Canadian Blog Award in the category of Best Personal Blog. The nomination alone knocks my socks off and that is something hard to do.

The Best Personal Blog category contains a lot of supercalifragilistic blogs AND a few friends who I adore (including her) which makes voting difficult. I can honestly say that I'm flattered to be nominated but if I made it to the second round, I would just explode (which is a good thing).

So if you've got the time, please click on the logo below and cast your vote. You can vote once a day and I'll be putting the logo on my sidebar for future reference.

I'm not comfortable pimping myself but it would be super cool if me or one of my friends won. Like really, really, really cool.

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This week has been the week of the stink eye. You didn't see that one on your kitten calendar? Neither did I but apparently Bumper had it in her Blackberry. So far this week she has given the swimming instructor and my neighborhood mommy friend a wicked stink-eye (each on separate occasions) causing them both to recoil in fear of being struck by lightening or whatever else goes with a face like this:


Their transgressions? Swimming instructor told her to blow bubbles and neighborhood mommy accidentally got in the way of her walking. Don't cross the Bumper. It's not worth it.

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Thank goodness Fussy gave the go ahead to lower the NaBloPoMo standards because I was beginning to go insane. Not that I listen to everything Mrs. Kennedy says but she's been right about oh so many things.

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FtF diary update:

Ah, screw it. I am a FRUMP!

Day fourteen: What do I want to be when I grow up?

Sometime before or around the year 2000, my Mom asked me "as a child, what profession did you want to be when you grew up?".

I told her a mercenary.

She paused and said "missionary?".

"No, I wanted to be a hired gun".

I think she might have sighed at that response. If she did, I don't blame her at all.

Since I've matured and developed a hatred of guns, I've decided I want to be a grifter. But I think I might be too honest to take advantage of a good situation.

For instance, today in the grocery store the automated check-out (or as I like to call it the "since you whiny cashiers decided to form a union, we are going to replace you with self-check-out machines and make you obsolete" kiosks*) gave me back too little change. This forced me to interact with another human, so I tried to act as much like one as I could. The lovely human cashier responded by not speaking when I made my request and slamming down my change on the counter. I love humans. Anyhow, I noted quickly that she gave me too much change and returned the fifteen cent overage. If you could have seen the "are you crazy lady" look she gave me.

Darn. I could have used that to help fund my first con.

* trademark name by Bumpertown incorporated

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FtF diary update:

Current Project Fight the Frump (FtF) Standings:

Day 6: Much better. Get this: I was dressed, brushed and clean by 9 am. No make-up but I was taking Bumper swimming and I can't hack waterproof mascara (does anyone know how to get that stuff off? I swear I'm still wearing waterproof stuff from New Years). Percentage of day spent frumpy: 20%

Day 5: I don't even know why I'm still doing this because there is no freakin' way I'm going to even make a conditional pass (50%) without showing up at playgroup in the absoultely perfect little black dress, an up-swept 'do and elbow length gloves.

Today I got dressed at 1:30pm and only because I had to go vote for our new mayor, councillor, and school trustee (I can't complain about this place if I don't fulfill my civic duty). And I couldn't do that until after naptime because there is hell to pay if I try to do anything planned and when I do, to do it without sleep, makes it impossible.

Bumper of course was a sweetie while voting so I decided to drop-in last minute at the local Early Years centre. Unfortunately I forgot to put on a shirt under my sweater and I was too freakin' warm in the room of 40 adults and 30 odd kids (the number was odd, not the kids. Well some were but I'm not going to post about that tonight). So here I am all hot and the only thing to drink is coffee and let me tell you, it's hard to chase Bumper when overheated and thirsty.

To top off my frump factor, one of the mommies who I have known for months told me I looked really tired. Yup, I forgot to put on make-up. At least I remembered the hair. Percentage of day spent frumpy: 65%

Day 4: Does getting up to get food because I was too lazy to cook so that was the only reason I put on clothing count as defrumping? Ah, who am I fooling - no one. Percentage of day spent frumpy: 99.97%

Day 3: I never got dressed. My MiL was here, I was feeling crappy and I remained in sweats all day long because I had no obligation to leave my home. I plead "sick". Percentage of day spent frumpy: 100%

Day 2: I was dressed at 9:30 am (whoa). Clothing clean(ish) and coordinated (black always looks great with denim). Teeth brushed, hair clean (but wet and pulled back in ponytail) and I actually applied mascara AND blush. Mom-friends at drop-in playgroup noticed. Percentage of day spent frumpy: 15%

Day 1: I got dressed at 2:17 pm. Not bad but I think I can do better. Percentage of day spent frumpy: 70%

OK, I may have recovered and today gives me hope of making it over the conditional pass hurtle of less than 50%. I'm at 62% folks. I might just make it after all!

Day thirteen: lucky lucky thirteen

Another visit to the Bumper photo archives! Whoot whoot! Here is Bumper one year ago in her car onesie.


Here in my car
I feel safest of all

I can lock all my doors
It's the only way to live

In cars

I used to groove so hard to Gary Numan's Cars back in grade five and even to this day, I crank it when I'm driving because I'm sure it's the law.

At least it's the law in Bumper town.

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FtF diary update:

Current Project Fight the Frump (FtF) Standings:

Day 5: I don't even know why I'm still doing this because there is no freakin' way I'm going to even make a conditional pass (50%) without showing up at playgroup in the absoultely perfect little black dress, an up-swept 'do and elbow length gloves.

Today I got dressed at 1:30pm and only because I had to go vote for our new mayor, councillor, and school trustee (I can't complain about this place if I don't fulfill my civic duty). And I couldn't do that until after naptime because there is hell to pay if I try to do anything planned and when I do, to do it without sleep, makes it impossible.

Bumper of course was a sweetie while voting so I decided to drop-in last minute at the local Early Years centre. Unfortunately I forgot to put on a shirt under my sweater and I was too freakin' warm in the room of 40 adults and 30 odd kids (the number was odd, not the kids. Well some were but I'm not going to post about that tonight). So here I am all hot and the only thing to drink is coffee and let me tell you, it's hard to chase Bumper when overheated and thirsty.

To top off my frump factor, one of the mommies who I have known for months told me I looked really tired. Yup, I forgot to put on make-up. At least I remembered the hair. Percentage of day spent frumpy: 65%

Day 4: Does getting up to get food because I was too lazy to cook so that was the only reason I put on clothing count as defrumping? Ah, who am I fooling - no one. Percentage of day spent frumpy: 99.97%

Day 3: I never got dressed. My MiL was here, I was feeling crappy and I remained in sweats all day long because I had no obligation to leave my home. I plead "sick". Percentage of day spent frumpy: 100%

Day 2: I was dressed at 9:30 am (whoa). Clothing clean(ish) and coordinated (black always looks great with denim). Teeth brushed, hair clean (but wet and pulled back in ponytail) and I actually applied mascara AND blush. Mom-friends at drop-in playgroup noticed. Percentage of day spent frumpy: 15%

Day 1: I got dressed at 2:17 pm. Not bad but I think I can do better. Percentage of day spent frumpy: 70%

Tomorrow looks better. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself.