wacky weather

Toronto just had a tornado warning.

No tornado but it was a wild and windy storm that passed through (lasting about 30 minutes) and honestly in my six years here, I don't remember another storm like it. It was the kind that made me stay in the back of the apartment, away from the windows. This I did with Bumper in my arms, trying to act all cool while I kept one eye on the outside. Why do windows always look bigger and more dangerous when the high winds are blowing - more shattery or stabby if you will (I can make up my own words after all, it is MY blog).

But I think the most frustrating part of the storm for me was: no internet. Darn you smart bump daddy, being all safe and practical and make me shut down the computer. Phsstttt to you!

I know the heatwave is official over in Toronto (could someone tell my internal heat sensors that - I'm really sweating here folks) but I'm pretty darn sure I might be going insane from the heat.

PROOF:
In the grocery store, just hours ago, I broke into song. I actually started singing out loud. It was my song choice that scared me for two reasons: I hate the song and I never knew I had subconsciously committed so much of the song to memory. I found this disturbing but I couldn't stop myself. I sang Reo Speedwagon's "Can't fight this feeling anymore" in the dairy aisle. Perhaps it is relevant that I mention I CANNOT sing.

Mind you, it did keep Bumper happy. And I think I made the guy restocking the yoghurt laugh. Or cry.

it's true folks, she sounded awful

I apologize in advance to any Reo Speedwagon fans out there but I used to be mean to the kids that listened to that sort of stuff. I can admit it. I was a music snob. Back then I only liked ska, reggae, and some older stuff (Beatles, Ramones etc.) and couldn't stand that elevator music. See there I go - I'm still a freakin' snob. Old habits die hard. But that still doesn't explain my song choice this morning.

Monday's Favorite Toy Feature II

Introducing IKEA's idea of a cute toy for kids: Minnen the Rat.



Minnen follows Bumper where ever she goes. I like the idea of her having a stuffed rat because I thought that would help develop Bumper's sense of individuality. Most kids get a cute bear or doll but my baby gets a rat.

In other news: Bumper learned to crawl this weekend and now she's put that to the wayside and wants to walk. Never satisfied with what she's got, she has to strive for more. So much like her momma. How do I get her to slow down and smell those proverbial flowers?



Lame post I know but I'm dying of heat here people. In Toronto, summer comes by the flip of a switch. Today it's 33 (@90) and to think, just last week I was bundling Bumper up to go to the store.

Laundry: does it ever end?

So as usual I'm doing 50 billion loads of laundry. But the cutest thing happened during the folding of said laundry. I was sitting on the edge of the bed acting as defense from the wandering Bumper and then I felt this weight against my back. Bumper sat herself up against me while she played and we sat back to back while I did my folding. It melted my heart and made me sigh. I really do think my heart just exploded again. Is it possible to love someone so much?

Answer: HELL YEAH!!!!



To answer the meme by Bri who suggests:

go to Wikipedia
type in your birthday without the year
list 3 events, 2 births and one death

3 events:
64 (yes the year 64) Great fire of Rome - Emperor Nero reportedly plays his lyre and sings while watching the blaze from a safe distance.
1536 - the Pope is declared void in England
1969 - Apollo 11 preps for landing on the Moon

2 births:
1967 - Vin Diesel
1918 - Nelson Mandela

1 death:
1817 - Jane Austen

It was so hard to select info - I never realized so much happened on my birthday. Cool meme. I tag anyone reading this ;) - excellent cop out but I'm new to the blogsphere and I never know who is reading!

TGIF

What a week it has been. I haven't made time to blog because I could barely see straight most days this week.

To start, I'd like to say that this week was a Phoenix - it died a slow death and then rose from the ashes baby. It then soared into that proverbial sky and... OK - enough of the cliche stuff*, this week started out REALLY BAD but ended on a good note (duh - as if you couldn't figure that one out). Anyway...

Bumper has a small sleep issue: she doesn't like to do it. She literally fights and thrashes before collapsing into slumber. I don't get it. I love to sleep (especially now that I don't get to do it anymore) and Bump Daddy has been known to enjoy his 40 winks. Well last Sunday night commenced a new sleep regression phase. I think Bumper has been trying to figure out this whole crawling phenomenon and she really is losing sleep over it.

TRANSLATION: MOMMY MUST ALSO LOOSE PRECIOUS PRECIOUS SLEEP.

She got up every 90 minutes. I thought I was going to go insane. Flashbacks of the early weeks came back. I cried. I bitched. I complained. I looked to the Baby Tylenol and asked myself if I was desperate enough to drug her (nope - not sure what that would take but this was close). This went on for the next three nights. I was delirious and so freakin' cranky that Bump Daddy was going to pay since I couldn't take it out on that cute baby.

Then lone behold Wednesday night: she slept from 10 to 3 and then 3:15 to 8. I was up before her.

THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED.

Then it happened again last night. I think I won the sleep lottery. That said, I know I have cursed myself and from this night forward I will woken up by her every 90 minutes until she is 18.

Check out our angel sleeping in our bed. I could eat her up. I think my heart just burst.


* if anyone knows of a good book or site of dumb cliches please send me the title or link because I eat that sort of stuff up and I really wanted to make my "To start" paragraph a bit longer and worthy of eye-rolling but I hit the proverbial wall while trying to think something up (HA - I crack myself up).

Monday's Favorite Toy Feature

Favorite toy in the Bumper realm is Red Fish, Blue Fish, Old Fish, New Fish bath book by Dr. Suess.


Complete with detachable Red Fish.

Scratch that - make that:

Complete with delectable Red Fish

Headlines that cause me to pause

Have a great long Victoria Day weekend my fellow Canucks. And to anyone in the 400 series area of highways, crank your AC/DC on the way to the cottage.



It made me pause when I noticed that the Star had loosely used a rock anthem for a headline. Guess which song was stuck in my head for the next few hours? Three guesses and the first two don't count.

TGIF (because Bump Daddy is home to lend a helping hand)

So does anyone else have a closet that looks like this? Please tell me you do because I used to be a Neat Freak and now my life has been reduced to this:



On the left there are two overflowing laundry hampers and the blue "sweater organizer" (snort with laughter, I do when I call it an "organizer") is stuffed with my post pregnancy clothing. I don't even know what is in the boxes up above and I'm afraid to find out. Help me - please tell me that this is normal.

And that's just my closet. I kicked Bump Daddy out and he has a rolling rack to hold his stuff. Because he's visual - I learned that from Neat. He will only keep his clothing nice and folded/hung if he can see the mess he's creating and not have doors to hide it behind. I need to listen to my own assvice advice.

Hey momma, stop trying to organize me! Let me be FREE!

I never seem to get it right

I never seem to get it quite right, the blogging that is (why am I talking like Yoda, not quite sure). I run into the office during naps and daddy time and I whip something up and then I publish it and then 9 times out of 10 I'm saying: "CRAP... that's not what I meant to say or I forgot to add that or worse yet... I forgot to say thank you".

I was overwhelmed (verklempt if you will) by the wonderful comments on my little offering for the great Mommy Kool-Aid hug and I'm embarrassed that I didn't come back and say what I really felt when I read those wonderful words: (think Sally Field here) they like me! they really, really like me! I'm sooooo stoked that Mom-101, bri, Jezer, scarbie doll, urban mommy and of course HBM (who probably thinks I'm stalking her by now with all my obsessive linking to her site) all came for a visit and had such encouraging things to say.

OK so my teenage Sally Field outburst is soooo uncool and I'm gonna go die of embarrassment now.

Now paranoia sets in... maybe they are just here for the baby pics and to laugh at the grammer errors.

You're probably right momma, they are visiting for the pics

And for any interesting parties, the Ramones T-shirt came from H&M. And if anyone from H&M reads this: please send me some free samples and I'll flog your store endlessly. Man - I just sold out in under 2 seconds - I'm pathetic sometimes. But only in the name of fashion...

Lovin' my Kool-Aid Posse

Thank you HBM for suggesting and facilitating this celebration of how/why we all joined the blogsphere and Mother's Day shoutout. I love your writings and I'm getting smarter just by reading your stuff (I keep a dictionary handy and I always have Merriam-Webster open at the sametime). I hope I'm not too late in contributing.

For me, blogging (lurking really) all started in a depressing manner. That's how I felt. PPD had it's hold on me and I was giving in because I had no other escape. The only thing that kept me going was looking down to my bosom and seeing this magical, wonderful daughter that I helped bring into this world. Then one day I was googling baby stuff and somehow I came upon a link to Secret Agent Josephine. Baby Bug made me smile and her Mom's cheerful and pure writing (eg. no swearing) made me feel nice inside. A glow started and a flame was lit. I started to hit her blogroll and there I found Amalah. Yipee! A mom who swears! Well from there I was on freakin' fire. Finally I laughed, felt understood and found something interesting that was mommy related (yes I know that's a loaded statement but I was finding the mommy chats I was involved in very...ummm... very.... well for lack of better words: boring and full of platitudes). Then I found Sweet Juniper. They reminded me of the friends I met in university and miss so dearly. They intimidated me somewhat but then after some back reading I felt like I could make a comment or two that didn't sound stupid. Not sure if that is 100% true but I commented anyway.

Then I found local moms and the familiarity made me feel confident to start my own blog. HBM, urban_mommy, and Martini's for Milk all inspired me and if I was more articulate I'd go on for days. As I have said time and time again - I can't write worth shit but I love "meeting" people. Maybe people may want to hear my two cents. Plus Bumper is way too cute to keep to myself. So short of the long - that's how I got here and I'm so glad I did. A huge thank you to the blogsphere and I know I missed dozens on my inspiration list but time is precious and must be spent with sweet, sweet Bumper.

I can never get enough of those sweet cheeks!

back in the saddle bumbo again

We're back! Happy Mother's Day to all you fine celebrators (like myself) out there!

You would not believe the past few days we have had. It all started when we got back from the East Coast late Thursday afternoon and had to fight some of the worst traffic to get home. A normally 25 minute trip took 90 minutes in a cab because the 401 was down to one lane in the collectors and something had messed up the express lanes... translation to those not familiar with the 401: PURE CHAOS. Bumper cried for over an hour of that time. She then promptly and for no apparent reason stopped two minutes before arriving home.

It wasn't 100% bad - Bump Daddy met us at the airport and we had a wonderful bit of family time in the taxi but I wish my family time hadn't included a man named Raheem and all the debt collectors who kept calling him. Apparently he has a bit of a money flow problem. But this traffic jam was just the start of the weekend to come.

Let me say this first (a disclaimer, if you will): Bump Daddy is a good family guy with few vices. He loves us and treats us like the fine ladies we are (but expects us to be tough just like we expect him to be in touch with his emotions and fluffy side. Now I'm rambling so I will digress and anyways, none of this is very relevant but I felt it needed to be said). I'm such a rambler... SEE??? There I go again!

Anyhoooo... Bump Daddy called me at 4pm on Friday and said "_____ wants to go for drinks - I won't be long or home late". Yah right - momma didn't raise no fool. So 9pm comes and me and the Bumper head to bed without our good nights. I'm not surprized or upset so I drift off to sleep without issue. Sometime later (2:45am!) I hear the phone ring.

I ignore it.

It starts ringing again.

I groan.

And then again. RING RING.

I think "WTF?".

Then I realize Bump Daddy ain't home.

Hmmm.... I get to the phone (still ringing) and in those 10 seconds to get there, I manage to think "hospital? copshop? stripper with a heart of gold?, brace yourself for the worst motherbumper".

Alas, none of the above - it's the buzzer of our apartment.

"Hello?"

"Hi sha-wheat-ie (said with a slur) buzz me up - I can't find my keys".

B*st*rd. I'm gonna kill him. Bumper is now crying and I'm back to bed. Oh did I mention that earlier that day I threw my back out and I'm in major pain? So I kick him to the curb couch and I'm back to bed. I wake up with a completely frozen back, a screaming 14lb weight that is too cute to ignore and a hungover beyond belief husband. Great start to my first Mother's Day weekend (come on now - one day ain't enough - has to last the entire weekend as far as I'm concerned).

So long story short, I'm bitchin' and hardly able to move and he's dying of alcohol poisoning. This goes on for the entire day. Now it's Sunday and really Mother's Day and so far he's kept himself on my good side but is still sick as a dog and trying not to moan about it. Sigh. On the bright side: I got a wicked new camera, Bumper has a whole lot of new "tricks"* and I'm getting my Pad Thai in about 10 minutes. Can't beat that.

So enough complaining - I'm getting caught up in my blog reading (how much did I miss it? It was insane! I had the DTs!!. I will be catching up on my commenting posthaste!). HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY AND PEACE OUT!

EVERYDAY SHOULD BE MOTHER'S DAY

I know - the caption is totally gag-worthy but she's got a point.

* Bumper's new stuff:

• She can sit up without assistance - from lying down, from her tummy, where ever she wants!
• She now is eating fruit - she hated it the first time out but now she likes pears and banana. Next up: peaches!
• And the big one: (cue drum roll please) TWO TEETH - bottom middle and they look great (you'll have to trust me on this because they are impossible to capture on film).

me like tractor, me hate war

Last night we had a friend over to drink homemade wine (his) and watch the NHL Network (the stupidest gift I could ever give me husband because I never see him anymore). We were discussing all sorts of things while Bumper put on a good show: she flirted shamelessly, ate oatmeal and sweet potato and allowed our friend the privilege of holding her for two entire minutes without screaming (her not him). After a while our chatter left the hockey realm and we had one of those "who would you have to dinner" type discussions. Our friend said "Can you imagine having dinner with Naomi Klein, Avi Lewis and Stephen Lewis? Wouldn't you feel like an absolute pea brain?". We all laughed and agreed. I'm sure that dinner configuration isn't that far-fetched considering they are all related and yes I would feel like a pea-brain. I'd probably stick my finger up my nose and say something like "me like tractor, me hate war" and then faint from fear of speaking in their presence. So the conversation stuck with me for a while and while I was rocking Bumper to sleep last night I started thinking about MY dinner party....

I, blogsphere, would have all the occupants of my "places I lurk visit daily" blog list (see sidebar) over for dinner. Actually, I would invite more then just the list. Over the past while I have been "discovering" all sorts of great people out there and I'd have you all at my dinner party. We would sit at one huge table and the food and drink would be endless. The conversations would be fantastic, witty, heated and hilarious. All our wonderful children would sleep through our antics (after being perfect angels for the first half of the night and all playing well together). We would end the night with table dancing and tequila shooters. And I would never feel like a pea-brain. I may not come across as eloquent, I may be grammatically challenged, and I have yet to find or even near-hit my stride when it comes to blogging but I can hold a great conversation, make new friends and drink a sailor under the table. And do a mean table dance. I could write endlessly about the type of night it would be but Bumper will not allow me to do so - she's complaining to Bump Daddy right now so I know the knock at the door will come soon ("I think she might be hungry..."). But if anyone happens upon this post - I'd love to hear about your "dinner party".

Bumper and I are headed to the East Coast tomorrow to visit my parents. We leave a lonely Bump Daddy to his own devices but I am looking forward to seeing my parents. Of course, they are more interested in Bumper (what the heck! but then they have had 36 years to get to know me). Last time we went to visit, they grabbed the stroller with Bumper and left me to haul the luggage like a sherpa. But I will not complain - they only get to see her every three months and that just isn't fair.

too cute to caption...