weekend wrap-up

These are "our" morning doves. They are quite the couple, always together and they coo at 5am every morning (or at least in the mornings when I am in the nursing chair). I took this on one of Bumper's walks this weekend. We also see this beautiful cardinal once and a while but I have yet to capture it on film. It's so red that I always think it looks like a cartoon.

Well hell must of frozen over a little this weekend because Bumper fell asleep during her naptime without the aid of "boobie" (aka: me) and she napped for two hours without interruption and allowed the Bump parents to have an afternoon to ourselves. And we enjoyed it... but I won't gross you out with the details. That type of napping hasn't happened since she was younger then six weeks old and I never thought it was going to return.

I am one happy lady.

Bumper had received a FUBU outfit when she was born. I called it her JLo running suit but I guess she would wear JLo brand and not FUBU but I'm not exactly hip on what the kids are wearing these days. Though I do have a secret US weekly and People addiction but only because someone keeps leaving copies in the laundry room. I swear! Anyways, here is a sweet shot of my little lady getting ready to hit the streets in her new threads.*

let's get this show on the road, Momma

Wow, I just went to the kitchen to get a drink and Bump Daddy once again successfully got Bumper to nap without the aid of me. This is turning out to be one of the best weekends ever. Sweet!

* once again I'm at a loss as to what to call her hip clothing. I'm just a kid of the 80's. But whatever the right word is, I think she looks cool. But then, I'm her mom.

Can't Won't wear the uniform

I read today's post at Girl's Gone Child and it reminded me of the day back in January this year when an older lady in my building gave me a hard time because of my less then traditional clothing choices (for both me and Bumper... her devil t-shirt didn't go over to well). Screw 'em I say. But I didn't. My momma (and Sister Mary Margaret) didn't raise a badass (just a smartass).

photo essay

Tip #1 when photographing teething Bumpers: tie back any dangling lens caps.

whatcha doing?

hey...

what's this?

just....let... me...

taste...

it! (ahh satisfaction)

Laundry: Now with more danger!

Three more loads of laundry done today. And a new pile of dirty stuff has already accumulated in it's place. Feh.

If you have ever used a public laundry facility you know what I mean when I speak of the residue left behind by some patrons. I just go "ick" when I open a machine and there is a mass of hair right on top or when I open the dryer lint catcher and find it full of (for lack of a better word) human fluff. Well I use the laundry room in the basement of our apartment building. It used to be kept very clean and maintained until the new super arrived. Now the machines need to be wiped down each time I go and there is a weird odor in the air that is suspicious (haven't found an explanation for that one yet).

Anyways, I was down there rejoicing that I was pulling the last load out of the dryer when a trashy looking larger lady walked into the room. She was followed by a rather sad looking teenage boy (16-17 maybe) who looked like he'd rather be eating glass then helping his Mom with laundry. She was grousing about something and he was just rolling his eyes and she barked at him to take the loads out of washer 3 and 4 while she unloaded the two dryers next to me. How did I watch all this you ask? Even if you didn't ask, I'm going to tell you: there is this large folding table in the middle of the room that allows for excellent spying (eg. what kind of underwear the little old lady down the hall wears - thong! She probably sees more action then me - it isn't fair) - but I digress. Ok so she pulls out her stuff and it's obviously a smaller childish gear - action hero pj's, small tighty-whiteys, etc and she yells at the other son - "look at what Duane's leaves me in his pockets to go through the laundry! What a brat!". So I look because the older brother doesn't really care.... and it's a collection of pennies, gum wrappers and other assorted little boy stuff... AND BATTERIES!!!!!! DOUBLE A BATTERIES!!!!! And this lady (proper use of the word - I think not) has put them through a wash and dry cycle and doesn't give a crap. She lobed them in the trash, while I stood there with my mouth hanging open with my blue blanket hanging half folded in mid-air. I never realized my laundry adventures were going to include dodging caustic acid. Wasn't it bad enough just having to clean up other people's hair before using the washer?

my mom dodges danger daily

To boot I also have a new neighbour who is culinary-challenged. Every meal time (except breakfast I've noted) I hear that smoke detector going off. I truly am living on the edge.

Britney is my role model

Screw driving with your kid on your lap - we let Bumper drive!

look ma - one hand!

get off my tail as*h*le

Yes - I realize this is topically out of date but I'm a bit slow on the uptake sometimes... more newsy post coming soon!

Sunshine and Lollipops...

Even Bumper can have a bad hair day. She looks like she is wearing a toupee.

I actually tried to get this post up last night but Blogger was not loading properly and I couldn't get online. Is that normal for Blogger?

I'm a much happier camper today. The weather is ridiciously fantastic t-shirt weather - my favourite kind. Bumper and I made a date with another mommy this afternoon and I had a wonderful time shopping and drinking bubble tea with a lady and baby I met at Mommy and Me classes. Her little girl is just 13 weeks old so while baby was no intellectual equal, Bumper found her fascinating none the less. She kept lunging for the little one and I got a great cardio workout trying to keep Bumper from mauling the wee one. Bump is a strong little lady and once she gets her grip on something, it's hard to break the seal. Just ask either of the cats.

This morning, before our date, I noticed that Bumper has taken quite a liking to her new mirror. I purchased one on the recommendation of one of those parenting books. I was concerned for a microsecond that maybe she would become obsessed with her appearence and be vain (more so then her mom) but then I thought that it would help develop her id and superego via self-awareness and perhaps she could find that perfect balance I aspire to obtain (you know, somewhere between Gandhi and Mother Theresa... oh who am I kidding, I burst into flames if I even look at a church - really racks up the drycleaning bills... but I digress). Where was I? Ok so Bumper is loving the play mirror. Then I start thinking - am I raising a little diva? I mean check it out:

I'm ready for my close up Mr. DeMille...

It's all in the eyebrows baby.

We are off to the in-laws this weekend (no hi-speed connection - the horror!) where I hope Bumper will get all the laps, kisses and hugs this little girl needs and Mommy might find time to canoodle with Bump Daddy like a couple of teenagers downstairs in his parent's basement. See you next week!

Pigpen isn't a good role model for me

I have been surrounded with negative energy for over a week now. I feel like that Pigpen character from Peanuts and instead of dirt people can feel my negative dust cloud / aura from a mile away. I'm not really into auras and such but I do believe in the "rain cloud over the head" feeling that many of us experience. Due to this fog, I haven't posted in a couple of days because everything I write seems nasty (prime example: my last post).

But then I saw something I couldn't help but smile about. It has actually made me smile a 100 million times since conception but my self-imposed bog made me temporarily blind. Bumper. My beautiful Bumper. One baby sigh from her sweet lips makes the world so much better.

snap out of it Momma - we got some playing to do

Thanks for listening dear reader (readers???? A girl can dream). I've snapped out of it and we are back to regular broadcasting later today when Motherbumper can type with two hands behind the closed office door. I typed this entire post with one hand as Bumper napped on my lap. Totally worth the frustration - it's worth getting rid of that yucky feeling. I'm a happy woman - no seriously - I am.

That is all.

Scrambled thoughts on a Monday

Bumper had her 6 month jabs today at the doctors and let me tell you, she is one pissed off little lady. This whole six month landmark has brought on some new things for MotherBumper and Bump Daddy. Now I know people have spoken of this before and I wasn't new to the information but I tell you - it's a heck of a lot different when you are actually experiencing it: the change in the diaper routine when solids are introduced. HOLY CRAP!!!!! WTF?!!!! My sweet little bump has exuded the most vile smelling, noxious substance and apparently it just goes down hill from here. And there is sooo much of it - it goes everywhere and it has the consistency of toothpaste. And I can't believe I'm discussing this in a public forum.... I feel so - so - so - arghhh I can't even articulate how I feel. I'm so damn tired - I hope the advent of solids brings much needed predictable sleep (I would describe her sleep struggles but that is worthy of a seperate post).

I think I might be having a bad day - must be contagious.

I also think my kid might be cooler then me:

I want to be sedated...

MotherBumper needs a drink (won't happen) and a vacation (who is she kidding). Actually come to think of it - I always hated Mondays....

Six Months Old!

Damn... I wish I could think of witty titles but since I am suffering from lack of sleep, I will just stick with the basics. Anyway, as you can gather, Bumper turned six months old today. So far I have done two loads of laundry and told everyone in the laundry room, trudged through the rain to the grocery store and told anyone who looked at my baby that she's reached this milestone, and I'm tempted to answer the phone announcing my progeny's latest "accomplishment". But SB is working from home today and I'm sure his coworkers don't give a rat's ass about her birthday (bastards). Anyhow, Bumper woke up this morning channelling David Beckham and so far today she has smacked me upside the head and given both cats the evil "I want to tug on your tail" look. So the day looks pretty normal. I am a very happy lady.

mamma said knock you out